What is changing for you right now?

In the last month I've been travelling 85% of the time. I'm exhausted. Are you exhausted for different reasons?

The world today feels relentless in its demand for change, often pushing me into new directions before I'm fully ready. Scrolling through Instagram, I'm flooded with competing ideas that challenge my perspectives. With Zane, as he learns and grows through conversations with friends, I find myself rethinking my approach to parenting. And in my relationship, navigating our unique blend of cultures and traditions calls for constant adjustments and deeper understanding.

For me, change sometimes sneaks in softly, like a whisper I can barely catch. Other times, it sweeps in like a storm, upending everything familiar and reshaping my reality in an instant.

So, I'll ask you something if you're here reading this quick note. Please take a moment bring to mind one such change you’re experiencing. Perhaps it's an evolving role, like my interim director position—one I cherish but know is temporary. Maybe it’s a change in your surroundings, a relationship, or even a shifting political climate.

Got it? The change you are going through right now? Okay, let's keep going friends.

Whatever the nature of your change, this post is an invitation to look at it with fresh eyes, grounding ourselves in the paradox of hope/ spirituality and realism. This balance is essential as we navigate our way through transitions, connecting to deeper currents of growth, patience, and clarity.

The Change Cycle: A Theory of Change

In social work and organizational transformation, the concept of a “theory of change” is used to map out how specific goals are expected to come to life. Applied personally, a theory of change is a way of visualizing your journey from “what is” to “what could be.” It's messy, and I'm often not okay with how the change is happening. But I have practiced kicking in kindness (for myself), hope, and screaming at the wind. To do this, my psyche needs a roadmap.

Visualize this in stages:

1. Awareness – Recognizing that change is needed or already underway.
2. Acceptance – Realizing that the change may not be easy or what I wanted, and surrendering to that fact with a hopeful outlook.
3. Action – Taking steps, however small, to bring transformation closer.
4. Sustainability – Building structures to help maintain progress or evolve with further changes.

Each stage requires a unique blend of optimism and pragmatism. Rather than forcing change, we move with it, adapting our plans to suit each stage’s needs. It’s about progressing with purpose and intention.

The Diffusion of Innovation Theory

One helpful lens is the Diffusion of Innovation Theory, which describes how new ideas, behaviors, or products spread through a society. I totally geek out about this theory. While originally aimed at product adoption, this theory is just as relevant to personal change. In essence, it outlines how people adopt change at different paces: innovators are the first to try, early adopters follow closely, and a “late majority” may wait until change is unavoidable. Recognizing where you fall in this spectrum can provide insight into your relationship with change. Are you an innovator, eager to take on new experiences? Or perhaps more of a late majority member, preferring stability over novelty?

I won't get into the chasm below too deeply, but I LOVE the concept of that space between early adopters and early majority. This happens inside me all the time. I'm all 5 of these "people" at any particular point during change. Think about THAT!

Wherever you are on this trajectory, knowing how you are approaching change is a HUGE part of getting through the change in one piece.

Embracing the Paradox of Hope and Realism

So how do we stay grounded yet hopeful? The answer lies in accepting the paradox. Hope fuels our vision, energizes our steps, and lights up possibilities. Realism, on the other hand, is the steady hand that guides us, providing perspective, boundaries, and a reminder to celebrate small wins along the way. In essence, the ability to be kind and loving to oneself. I've found that hope without realism risks disillusionment, and realism without hope can leave us feeling stagnant or unfulfilled.

Here are some ways to integrate this approach into your life:

• Pause and Reflect: Make space to honestly assess where you are in the change cycle. Are you ready for action, or do you need more preparation?
• Seek Inspiration but Set Realistic Milestones: Find what lights you up about this transition, then break it down into manageable steps.
• Practice Compassion: Change often doesn’t look as we expect. Give yourself grace to make adjustments, be patient with setbacks, and seek support.

A Visual for Change

Imagine a bridge connecting two shores, the known and the unknown. Hope is what drives us to cross, to see what’s on the other side. Realism is the bridge itself, holding us up, one step at a time. With each step, we honor both our vision and our groundedness.

I'm putting this out there because I'd love for you to feel not-alone in the midst of whatever change you are going through.

I'll leave you with a question: What is one small way you can honor both hope and realism in your current change cycle? Whether big or small, every step counts.