What Changed in Me: A Transformational Coaching Journey

Over the past decade, I have been at the helm of organizations, guiding teams, mentoring young talent, and advising peers. Leadership, for me, has always been about being the go-to person—the problem solver, the mentor, the one with answers. But as I delved deeper into coaching, I realized something profound: the most difficult part was learning to hold myself back from giving advice.

It felt counterintuitive at first. After all, experience is valuable, right? Shouldn’t sharing my hard-earned wisdom be the best way to help others? Yet, I gradually recognized a crucial flaw in this thinking. I had overestimated the correlation between my universe of experiences and that of my clients. On the surface, our challenges looked similar, but in reality, they couldn’t have been more diverse. The situations might have parallels, but the characters—my clients—were entirely different individuals with unique perspectives, emotions, and strengths.

This realization was a game-changer. Advice, I discovered, is often more about stroking the ego of the advisor than truly empowering the advisee. It assumes that what worked for me will work for someone else. But real coaching isn’t about handing over a pre-packaged solution; it’s about helping the client uncover their own path.

A metaphor that resonates deeply with me is mountain climbing. Suppose I am an experienced climber who has scaled a particular peak several times. My instinct might be to tell my client, “Step exactly where I stepped, grip the same rocks, and you’ll make it to the top.” But the reality is, every climber has a different body type, strength, and style. My path may not be the safest or most effective for them. Instead, my role as a coach is to help them see the hook points—the hidden grips and ledges—so they can place their weight where it works best for them.

This shift in approach has been transformational, not just for my clients but for me as well. I have learned to listen more deeply, to create space for reflection, and to trust that every individual has the ability to find their own way forward. Instead of offering answers, I now ask better questions. Instead of leading, I illuminate.

Coaching, I’ve realized, is not about being the expert in someone else’s life. It’s about being the mirror that reflects their strengths, the compass that helps them find their own true north. And in doing so, I have transformed—not just as a coach, but as a leader and a human being.

Author - Sheshadri Savalgi