What if Chandler Bing meets Zakir Khan?

*Welcome to the Indira Gandhi International Airport! Sorry about the bumpy landing. It’s not the captain’s fault. It’s not the co-pilot’s fault. It’s the Asphalt.

Please remain seated until the plane is parked at the gate. At no time in history has a passenger beaten the plane to the gate. So, please don’t even try.

Also, please be careful while opening the overhead bins.

Chandler: Why is everyone trying to be like me? Huh?

*Plane stops and all the passengers go to the baggage carousel area.

*Chandler quick picks up his burgundy coloured bag displaying “Sarcasm King”

Zakir: (From a distance) Chandler bhai? Chandler bhai?

Chandler: Nice camouflage. For a minute, I almost didn’t see you.

Zakir: Kale kapde pehen liye matlab tu aesa bolega? Uh, If I wore black clothes, will you speak like this bro?

Chandler: I’m sorry Zakir. We’re meeting for the first time and I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable. *Awkward laughter

Zakir: And say, how’re you? And how is Monica?

Chandler: She is crazy!

Zakir: Such a surprise visit, Chandler! What’s the matter?

Chandler: Ohh! You’re the 69th person I am gonna tell this!

Zakir: What? *Thinks inside head, “Mai to Sakht Launda hu!”

Chandler: Never-mind, so Monica came to Indore for Javu, her restaurant’s branch opening and guess what, she lost her wedding ring. *Makes a cry-baby face

Zakir: Make a call to her.

*Took out his iPhone X and tap the face time icon

Zakir: Bro, is your kidney still paining? *Patting on his stomach

Chandler: I am not comfortable bro!

In the meantime, Monica pics up the call

Monica: Hi Chandler! How’re you? I have already cleaned our apartment twice! *Grins

Chandler: Hey Monica, I am fine! Meet my friend, Zakir!

Zakir: Hello Monica Bhabhiji! How’re you?

Monica: I am fine! How’s India?

Zakir: Living here since 1987. Amazing!

Monica: Chandler, I need to go, I think Janice is on the door! Ohhh god!

*Cuts the call

Zakir: *Iska bhi katega

Chandler: So, you know, where to find Ajey Nagar?

Zakir: Oiii, Carry bhai?

Chandler: Yes, that YouTube roast champion! I am his big fan!

Zakir: Come on, let’s go to Faridabad, he might be in his home.

*Whistles like Salman Khan in Wanted movie

*5 auto-rickshaws stopped right away! One rickshaw-waala, came forward at touch Zakir’s feet!

Chandler: I am glad they’re only touching feet, otherwise we had been somewhere in Africa.

Zakir: Kya?

Chandler: Never mind, (to rickshaw-waala) Wash your hands man, we came out of COVID-19!

Chandler: What is this? *Pointing to Auto-Rickshaw

Zakir: Convenient short- 3 wheeled vehicle to beat traffic.

Chandler: Looks like a baby lopsided octopus! Ewwww

Zakir: (Aaj toh maar khilwaega ye) Come on, let’s go, you’ll make people to beat us.

*Chandler and Zakir booked a cab and reached Faridabad at Carry’s house. Carry opens the door

Zakir: Bhaiko! (Starts with some random joke) ….

Carry: (Cuts in between) Toh kaise hai, aap log?

Zakir: Ab tu laptop ke saamne nahi hai, ruk! Meet Chandler Bing (pointer to Chandler)

Carry: Hi man! Nice hair.

Chandler: Thanks, I grow it myself.

Zakir: Mudde pe aate hai, inki mohtarma ki ring aapko mili thi naa, inko vaapis chahiye. (Translates the same for Chandler in English)

Chandler: Please give me the ring, otherwise Monica will eat me. Also, I need to catch the return flight. It is too hot here!

Carry: Kal MDH vaale chacha aaye the, bol rhe the angoothi dedo, mai amar hu!

Zakir: (Cuts in between) Bhai, tum naa character se bahar aao, aur jao angoothi leke aao!

Chandler: I don’t know what you both are talking about. Please get me the ring, I beg!

*Carry brings the ring, gave it to Chandler. Chandler thanks him and Zakir and all 3 goes to the airport

*This is the final boarding call for passenger Chandler Bing on flight 289K to New York. Please proceed to gate 29 immediately. The final checks are being completed and the captain will order for the doors of the aircraft to close in approximately five minutes time. I repeat. This is the final boarding call for Chandler Bing. Thank you.

Zakir: See you bro, Sakhti banaye rakhna!

Carry: Will start roasting Americans soon, bon voyage!

Chandler to Zakir: Yes, I will say your hi to Monica! See you!

Chandler to Carry: Bye, Carry! Bye-bye the way, loved your roast, I translated it from google translate.

*Carry sighs, “Agla bakra mil gaya!”