What caused the demise of humanity?

How did we get here? Now there's a deep question to start your day... but I'm not just talking philosophically here.

How did we get to a place where we have fake news, social disconnect, hate and trolls on unprecedented levels? Of course, this is a big topic, and I know one or two psychologists and sociologists who could offer a very detailed assessment of the human condition and why we act as we do.

But here's what I think... grab a coffee. Let's take a walk.

While we generally conduct our real-life interactions with each other politely and respectfully, online this can all change very quickly, especially where these interactions are with strangers. In some cases, we can be down-right horrible! Although I haven't conducted a survey, I'm pretty sure most women online, and especially on online dating sites will tell you how quickly things can get nasty, or 'inappropriate'!

I'm sure most of us have received an email which we immediately took the wrong way, and immediately responded with anger and distress. Only to be told we had misinterpreted the intent of the message.

So what went wrong? And is there anything we can do about it? Well... yes. I think there is, and as usual, it starts with the small things and grows from there.

"Hello, World"

Programmers of a 'certain age' (*cough) will recognise these two words as the words used by early developers to test their code to see if it had compiled correctly. If these two words appeared then you knew you had coded correctly, and that you had succeeded.

I still remember the excitement I experienced, over 35yrs ago, when I got my first computer to say these two words. It was pure magic. I know a number of Coders today who still use this to test their code.

"Hi"

Pioneered by Ray Tomlinson, the first email (as we know it) was sent in 1971, but it wasn't until the mid-1990's that 'e-mail' took hold. At the time email's were generally sent using in quite a formal tone...

"Dear Gary,

How is your day? What I would like to know is...

Kind regards,

Joe Blogs"

Fast forward to 2019, and receiving an email today the above message is likely to look something like this...

"G

What I would like to know is...

KR

JB"

... and that is if you're lucky. Sometimes people don't even address you(!) So it's not uncommon to receive an email saying...

"What I would like to know is..."

What's my point?

Good question. Glad you asked... My point is this. Look at the journey of the messages above. From formal and polite to abrupt, curt and devoid of any humanity. The last email could be misinterpreted and lacks any form of etiquette.

When did we become so rude?

We wouldn't act like this in any other form of communication, except on email and text/social media. On these forms of communications, we simply 'barge' into people's days without any regards for general good manners. If you think it's acceptable to do this, then I challenge you to try doing this on the phone or in person.

Pick up your phone and call someone. Anyone. When they answer the phone, simply start the conversation like this...

"I'm sending you a report and need your thoughts on it. Cheers."

You're likely to get a very curt response from the other person (especially if it's your wife. Don't do it! Trust me on this.)

Etiquette becomes Netiquette.

Is there any way we can relearn the approach we once had to communication? Yes, and it starts with 'Hi'.

Communicating in a humanistic, and polite fashion just might get people being more civil to each other online. When I first started using Lotus Notes in 1989 I recall writing a paper entitled "Etiquette becomes Netiquette", where I explained to people how to use this new form of communication. Tips included;

• Use correct salutations; "Dear...", "To whom it may concern", "Hello..."
• Sign-off appropriately; "Kind regards", "Yours sincerely", "Yours faithfully"
• Check punctuation, grammar and spelling (especially important with names)
• Don't use acronyms unless they are clearly explained
• Use humour sparingly, as this can be misinterpreted. Only use this where you have an established relationship
• Remember you don't know the mood or situation the recipient is in when they receive your email. So what you think is funny, may come across poorly to them.
• Don't expect an immediate response. If you need an immediate response, pick up the phone
• If you're not happy about something; Don't "Flame on"! Don't respond immediately. Feel free to write what you want, but save it as a draft and return to it tomorrow morning. If you feel the same - hit send. If not - hit delete.
• Don't send anything via email you wouldn't want your Nan to see!
• Sending an email does not absolve you of responsibility. Their inbox is NOT your TODO list!

I think I could publish this again today because I think we need it more than we did back then.

Conclusion

How did we get here? Slowly, is the answer. We went from "Hello World" to simply shouting instructions on email.

So if you've reached this point in my musings, thank you. But my call to action to you is simply this; When sending your emails today why not start that email with "Hi... How's your day?"

I know some will complain and say this is just getting in the way of doing business, but I would again ask that person to consider this... If you go to two shops today, and you have the following experiences, which will you be more likely to think more favourable of;

1. "How can I help?"
2. "Hello sir/madam. How can I help? ... Thank you. Have a good day."

Let's bring basic good manners back to the net, and slowly we might start to get back to a more civilised world.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day.

With kind regards.

Gary