What can you do, with what you have, where you are?

Even when we leave companies, or companies leave us, the relationships with our colleagues remain.

The highs, the lows, and the in betweens of our work fade away. What sticks around? Special connections, if we choose to spend time with people who are important to us.

It was fun to gather recently with DIRECTV alums, and hear what's new with everyone.

It was the ride of a lifetime to work together, and it's even better to stay in touch.

A group of us gathered for dinner last week (pictured above), and another group gathered for drinks last month during the holidays (pictured below).

Last fall, I became intrigued by what makes us happy and contributes to our well-being. It has been a challenging few years, for a variety of reasons, including the pandemic. This is true for me, and I suspect is true for all of us.

My husband Kevin and I each launched our own businesses in 2018. My consulting/coaching/speaking business The Carrelle Company LLC and his restaurant Pacific Standard Prime steakhouse were both established that fall.

In a stroke of randomly poor timing, the restaurant opened in August 2020, a few months into the pandemic. To say it's been a rocky road is a major understatement.

A quote attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th U.S. President, gives me great comfort and guidance (and which Roosevelt credits to Squire Bill Widener):

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."

This has been my daily mantra, to focus on each day only. Instead of wishing the road was easier, I ask myself what I can do, with what I have, where I am.

It turns out, a lot.

Here we are in 2023. The road isn't necessarily easier.

Yet the restaurant is still open, and people on Yelp give the team a lot of love. Major credit to Kevin for following his dream and keeping at it every day, along with an amazing team of employees and wonderful guests who come back time after time.

And my business continues to grow, more quickly each year. This is thanks in part to friends and colleagues who have provided encouragement and made referrals.

Back to my question about what makes us happy. It started with a Hello, Monday podcast episode from LinkedIn with Dr. Laurie Santos on the topic of increasing happiness. I wanted to know the secret.

Can you guess?

Turns out it's social connections.

The Harvard Study of Human Development underscores this finding. Launched in 1938, it's followed the lives of more than 700 initial participants, and later, their families.

What has it found so far? More than following a healthy diet, exercising regularly, or getting enough sleep, it turns out that cultivating relationships has the biggest impact on our happiness and well being.

So I reflected on what I could do, with what I have, where I am.

And I thought, my family owns a restaurant. Why don't I invite different groups of people to dinner? It started with some high school friends in November (pictured below). And continued with former work colleagues this month. Who knows where this will go, but it's sure a lot of fun!

One of the people invited to the dinner was Pat Doyle, the former CFO of DIRECTV. Even though I didn't work in Finance (I led Corporate Communications as part of the amazing HR team led by Joe Bosch), both Pat and Joe opened a door for me to work on a major M&A integration team led by my colleague and now friend Jennifer Cho.

Heartbreakingly, the day I confirmed the dinner plans with the group, I learned about Pat's untimely passing the day before. Pat was a gentle, smart, and kind leader, with incredible integrity. He was a father and a grandfather, and way too young to leave us. Pat will be missed by so many people for whom he was a role model and a shining light. What a legacy he leaves for his own family, for the DIRECTV family, and for the larger community.

This brought into sharp relief a mantra from another colleague, Linda Simon. She ends every email with "enjoy every day!" This could not be more sage advice. Today is all we have. Let's enjoy and savor it, and let's enjoy our relationships with the special people in our lives.

So if you're struggling with the loss of a loved one, an unexpected layoff, a business setback, concern about the future, or anything else, here are two questions to ask yourself.

What can you do, with what you have, where you are?

And who can you reach out to and connect with today?