What can you control?

You might not want to hear this. That is exactly why you need to hear it.

You know that thing that annoys you... That person that irritates you...

Maybe it is actually you who needs to consider adjusting…

Hey hey.. Hold up, it’s not just you.

I see this with myself, too.

I can be stubborn.

I can be closed off

I can miss the openings and perspectives of situations and others that one might feel should be obvious.

I can get frustrated and annoyed and run the spectrum of all the human feels.

Learning how to control my reaction to things has been one of the most practical and powerful learning journeys.

Even considering something simple and rather silly I noticed just yesterday while driving.

The lights from a car behind me were so bright in my face, never mind they were following me dangerously & uncomfortably close.

An older version of LeeLee would have been frustrated, angry, or annoyed at that person, but having done the work on myself, without a moment of frustration or stress, I made the decision not to react to the outside factor and instead of letting the light in the mirror annoy me, and blaming the other driver for..whatever reason, I simply decided to focus on what I could do.

So, I adjusted my line of sight.

I dipped my head out of the mirror view.

And I smiled proud of myself for finding a simple fix to an uncomfortable situation.

An older version of LeeLee would have focused on the annoying lights in the mirror and fallen victim to the blame game of the “ inconsiderate jerk” (likely more, unaware person) behind me… Going on a rant about how it was their fault… they should get out of “my” way… “Awful driver..” how dare they shine their lights so bright on me, it’s dangerous…. Etc…

All in all, not a great head-space to be in while driving on a freeway.

But none of that came up.

It was the opposite, in fact, it was peaceful and calm.

I adjusted myself and I let them be on their merry way.

Then I thought of you and how I wanted to share this small tale with you as this may be a tiny moment in time, still it is as “they” say, and they are correct, the small things can add up in our lives.

And if we can learn to deal better with the little things more consistently, oh the lightness that can be created for our peace of mind.

I would like to remind you as well that we can all miss cues in ourselves that indicate a leaning of victim-mentality or believing too much in our own blame story.

Not wanting to be the creator of our own pain, trying so hard to avoid that, we can focus too long on the external elements we blame for our troubles and trials that we close ourselves, our minds off from resourcefulness and realizing that we have more power, more control to make the difference we are wishing for… if only we start by owning it and making adjustments from there.

I see this unhelpful mind framing all the time with my clients.

Many don’t often realize they lean on an external focus for change and can be found wanting the world to adjust to them.

Left with worrisome woes when the world doesn’t work that way.

They allow their happiness and progress to be determined largely on the role of others in their lives; wanting so dearly to be able to change the outside world, the people around them, reactions they get, the flow of money, opportunities, support, and the like.

They tend to be wanting in resilience when it comes to coping with outside influences and find themselves bound by blame and missing or dismissing any personal responsibility.

This could be understandable because we have all lived our entire lives learning ways of anticipating things, learning behaviors, expectations, and norms from our own unique experiences, families, communities, etc.

But we know we can’t stay in our past experiences, doing things as they have always been done and expecting real change to occur.

I help my clients navigate their blind spots and connect their values with the direction they want to shoot for in the life they want to lead.

I do not get into their story with them but rather, I help them rewrite it.

Finding the middle ground?

Finding where you can reevaluate the hard situations?

Discovering where the ego is holding on?

Helping you shift your perspective?

Want help adjusting, that’s what I do best with my clients. Let’s get you there, too.

Jump into my DMs and let’s get started.

“You can’t control people’s actions. All you can control is how you react to those actions.”

And ohhh what a power it is to be able to control ourselves.