What "No" Can Teach Us

Sometimes, even our best pitches don’t get the response we want. However, getting to "no" can be a great learning opportunity - because "no" is always a great teacher.

Great lessons can come from rejection – even if you’ve got a really good pitch.

A negative response is an enormous CLUE from your listener.

While you may view a negative as discouraging news, consider it an informational bulletin. “No” is a message that class is in session.

When you hear a “no”, start taking notes.

“No” really means:

• You are about to learn more about something crucial to your pitch: listen closely!
• There’s something you’ve left out. What is it? Is there a hidden concern or agenda that you have failed to address?
• Are you really in the right place, at the right time, with the right idea?  I mean, it may be the right idea for you...but is it the right idea, for the person who's right in front of you?

So many times we fail to see the guidance that's right in front of us.  You know why?  Because we're busy looking in the mirror, instead of thinking completely about the other people involved. I often think about how a situation will benefit me - but that focus leaves out the most important person in the room.  The person right in front of me.

Sometimes that person is a client, or a co-worker, or a family member.  And, for some reason, that person is saying, "No".  

Surely there's something that someone has missed!  Because what I'm proposing is very very important! Very compelling! and very meaningful...to, uh, well, um...to me..."

Learn what you can. Address what you can fix.

Understand that not every pitch is a fit for every situation.  Sometimes you've got the right idea, but at the wrong time.  

Think about it: here's an example of a great idea, but if the timing's not right, then everything is wrong.  Are you ready?

Will You Marry Me?

Boom. 

Relationships come in all shapes and sizes, and getting to "yes" sometimes means that that you have to take a seminar in "no" - to learn what's missing in your story.

Finding the right situation is sometimes a process of education. And timing.

Ultimately, if your pitch is not a fit for your listener, you need to walk away with a greater understanding of why your solution is not a fit – so that you can be better prepared for the next conversation.

“But,” I can hear you thinking, “If they say no, my invention won’t get made/ I won’t get the sale/the screenplay gets put on the shelf/there are no other women who will put up with me/ we can’t produce the CD / and so on, etc !"

How can I be OK with NO, when what I want is ‘YES!’ ?”

First of all, being “OK” with “NO” doesn’t mean that you work towards it. It doesn’t mean that you celebrate “NO” with a small office party, a parade, or even an extra cup of coffee. Do not expect a negative response, but PREPARE for it. Being prepared means that you learn from “NO”, so it doesn’t derail your elevator.

• “NO” can mean “not now”.
• “NO” can mean, “not here”.
• “NO” can mean, “not for us”.
• “NO” can mean that you've got to take a detour to "yes".  Keep moving!
• It’s up to you to find out what where “NO” leads you - and that means, you've got to do a little investigating!

Ask yourself:

• Have you done everything you can to get to “YES!”?
• Do you know the why and because, behind the “NO”?
• If the timing was different, would the answer change as well?

While you may not like the negative response, can you accept it, learn from it, and find another place and time that’s right for you, your story, and your ideas?

After all, if I quit after the first “NO”, I never would have done much of anything with my life. (Or my wife, now that I think of it.)

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About the Author:  Chris Westfall is a sought-after leadership speaker, providing keynotes to Fortune 100 companies, entrepreneurs and organizations of all shapes and sizes.  He's the author of BulletProof Branding and The NEW Elevator Pitch, and he's helped his clients to land on Shark Tank, Dragon's Den and Shark Tank - Australia. He helps business leaders to communicate more effectively, building on a history of multi-million dollar results in a variety of industries.  Learn more at westfallonline.com