What can a married female psychologist teach men about dating?

What is common between attracting women, attracting the right relationship, and maintaining sexual chemistry/tension in a long-term relationship?

I'll get back to that in a moment…

In the past week, I have been challenged by someone to answer what I, as a married, female registered psychologist, know about helping men to get more confident in approaching women, and engaging in conversations that lead to relationship building, because apparently a fish can't teach fishing. ??

I love these challenges because it gets me to talk about and answer a question that even you might have.?

??What I know from research is that self-awareness is linked to having healthy self-esteem, and quiet internal confidence in oneself as good enough without needing constant validation from others (neediness) or the need to inflate one's ego to see oneself as better than others (arrogance).?

??So this healthy self-esteem and self-awareness is also what makes you more attractive to women, because that helps you to stand on your feet and behave independently & true to yourself, and have strong values and boundaries. Women perceive a man with these qualities as safe (able to protect and provide which are evolutionary mechanisms).?

??This healthy self-esteem also helps you to identify the right relationship for you with a person who also has high self-esteem.?

??Thirdly, what keeps attraction going in a long-term relationship is the separateness and mystery in a couple when both individuals have separate identities and this requires self-awareness and healthy self-esteem too (Esther Perel).?

So, you might have come across those guys who teach you how to become a pickup artist, but those are very short-lived techniques.?

Because if you do not have healthy self-esteem faking it won’t get you very far.?

Yes, taking action is VITAL but it is not the only thing needed for SUCCESS.?

You might get temporary success, but unfortunately after an initial success, you ran out of things to say, talk about because you are not authentically you.?

You may get to date someone or sleep with women but often the pickup artists have low self-esteem that they try to boost by getting validation from women or needing validation from other men to show that they can get an arm candy.?

How do I know? Because I have worked as a therapist with men who can't maintain a relationship and have used sex workers.??

Because I have worked with, been friends with and genuinely been interested in male psyche for a long time.?

It always goes back to the same truth about ourselves....

What truly gives us satisfaction in life is when we FIRST get to a place of healthy self-esteem and then create the connection and life we desire.?

Women love a man who is authentically himself expressing views and feelings even if he is a bit rough around the edges….

That signifies honesty and standing on one’s feet.?

Us humans connect deeper through vulnerability.

So going back to the original question....

??What can I as a married psychologist teach men about dating women, becoming more confident in approaching women and building a beautiful connection?

• I have dedicated my life to understanding relationships and attachment bonds.?
• I have dedicated my life to helping clients (men) increase self-awareness and build self-esteem, which ultimately leads to better relationships and happiness.?
• I also work with women who are seeking to meet someone for a serious relationship. So I get their view from the other side.
• I have also been a single woman and on the receiving end of men's advances. So I know what is attractive and what is not in terms of verbal / non-verbal communication.?

How do you feel about yourself?

This may feel like such a heavy question. But in all honesty, it is the question we all must keep asking to create more meaningful relationships.?

When the answer is… I am not fundamentally happy in my own skin, then some work needs to be done.?

And that's my jam....

I'd love to hear your thoughts...

Is building healthy self-esteem something you are willing to focus on?

Book a call and we can talk about how to help you to get to a place of being ready to create more opportunities to meet women and date with confidence.

https://calendly.com/drmaricoaching/20minloveconnectioncall

Mari x