What Brings You Here?- Advice for the couch

As a therapist, our clients will grow to trust us. A lot of our time spent in therapy will go towards nourishing the soil that is the safe space we create, to help bloom that flower of this trust. In this process, a sense of urgency, pressure to do right by our clients can easily grow as weeds. There’s a harness though, built into this therapy process to prevent you and me from staying in a pit of such nagging voices. In today’s newsletter Neda Ansaari (she/her) , our lead therapist (and supervisor) walks you through that harness- supervision.

Every therapist needs their harness. Something to prevent you from falling into the pit of self-doubt, whilst helping you move up the skills ladder. For most of us, that harness is supervision! Supervision is that safety net to fall back on during times of stuck-ness, gut wrenching feedback, hopelessness, counter-transference, and all the occupational hazards of being a therapist! But to serve as a safety net, that harness has to be strong enough to carry us through it all. And that can mean different things for each of us– depending on what stage you are at in your career, learning needs and the kind of setting you are practicing in.?

When I think of my previous supervision experiences, the movie “Karate Kid” comes to mind. Mr. Miyagi coached and trained Daniel in martial arts. He invested time in their relationship, gave him valuable life lessons and protected him from the bullies. As therapists, we all need a “Mr. Miyagi” in our life– someone who is supportive, guides us and helps us become a better therapist. If you’re lucky, you’d be able to work with several Mr. Miyagis in your life.?

But how do you know whether you’ve found your Mr. Miyagi? And before that, how do you go about looking for them? Here’s a little bit of what I have found helpful when it comes to finding the right supervision place.

You would have unlocked the door to that right supervision space if you exit feeling heard, not judged and have the flexibility to discuss what therapy is bringing up for you. Your Mr. Miyagi would have a knack for understanding individual differences like gender, race, ethnicity not only in your clients; but also within therapists. The right supervision space will allow you to discuss discuss transference and countertransference, the professional and as well as personal impact of therapy on you. While you’ll turn to your supervisor during times that you feel stuck, your Mr. Miyagi will also be equally transparent with you when they feel stuck. In those times, they will guide you to the resources that could be helpful. It’ll be a lot like when Mr. Miyagi took Daniel to Kobra Kai to resolve issues first and then set up martial arts lessons at different places.

In this space, you will also find your learning style being taken into account so that you and your supervisor can co-create an effective supervision environment. With all this, the conversations in supervision will not feel purely theoretical; they will also help you translate all of that theory into practice.Think of supervision as that dedicated space where you can in your own time begin piecing the puzzle of what clients bring to you in your sessions with them. You can do and redo the puzzle every week as you learn more and more about your clients. You can begin to provide them with the best frameworks to make sense of their unique experiences.

All that being said, finding the right supervision space for you is like finding the right therapist fit. You can begin this exploration by asking yourself these two questions:

What therapeutic approach am I hoping to build on??

If I practice CBT, would I benefit from a supervisor who also practices CBT? Or would I want supervision from a therapist who uses something different like the Psychodynamic approach? A way to go about these questions might be to not only reflect on your strengths and goals as a therapist but also wonder- are you in a space where you’d like to delve deeper into one specific therapeutic approach or are you looking to diversify yourself with a host of different approaches??

What are my learning preferences???

Herein, asking yourself whether you benefit from a one-on-one learning environment or a group setup goes a long way. The group supervision will operate as per the collective goals and needs of the group. Whereas, one on one supervision can help you dedicate yourself to the entirety of your case load whilst exploring how the person in you ties in with the therapist in you. This decision might become helpful given the stage you find yourself in. Most starting therapists would need an individual supervision space as they find their ground.?

Given these questions, it is pretty much guaranteed that as a growing therapist I have had my own share of searching, and then re-searching, for my Mr Miyagi. Each time, however, I have found that I’ve been able to co-create meaning out of the stuckness, doubts, counter-transference that I brought into the supervision space. And as a supervisor myself now– this is what I hope for the therapists coming after me as well!

Tell us what you look for in supervision in the comments below.