What the Bias Really Is

Some may sit and think they know what the bias is. Others may instead, acknowledge that they don’t know, but deciding to not be left behind, will act like they know. The worst, however, will cross their hands, take pictures, bombard social media and believe they understand, but will return to work the very next day, and exercise that which is, by its very definition, the exact bias that is being fought against.

But we cannot ignore that there are some who know, so let me pause here and say, kudos to those who really understand what the bias is.

Now, for the sake of the rest of humanity in its entirety, let’s, for just a few minutes, shed just a fraction of light, on what the bias really is…

The bias happens on an ordinary day, where one will wake up, and smile as the they drop their children off at school, the little girl clad in a pink Sophia bag, and the boy in a blue Ben Ten. “Study hard,” they’ll shout out to the girl as she waves goodbye, and “if anyone kicks you, kick back!” they’ll yell to the boy. By the way, the little girl got a sweet kiss on the forehead, and the boy a pat on the back.

One will then get back into their car and begin the drive to work. They’ll stop at a red light, and honk as soon as the light turns green. “Must be a woman,” they’ll say to themselves, if the car doesn’t shoot off immediately. Once at work, one will immediately say “wow, umenawiri!” to the receptionist at the front desk, because hey, you can say whatever you like to the receptionist. It is by the way, by definition of her pay grade, her job to tolerate whatever you throw at her, including random tasks that you decide fall within her line of work.

They’ll then drop their bags in their office and pack up for a meeting that starts in five. Once seated, the agenda will be discussed, suggestions shared, ideas raised, and a man will repeat, verbatim, what a woman just said, and be instantaneously praised for the great idea ‘he’ just came up with. The woman will simmer down, belittle herself, and remain silent for the rest of the meeting.

Immediately after, the man will shoot an email to the lady, whose idea it was in the first place, and "suggest ways on how best they can work together."

Once the day is done, one will pack up, return home and expect to find a hot meal on the table, the house clean, the kids fed, the homework done, the TV on, the clothes washed, next day’s outfit ironed, and the wife waiting in bed, after which one’ll go to bed, and talk about how tired he is and oh what a tough day he had.

The bias has existed for years. Both at work and at home. Women have had to be mindful when expressing authority and have had to downplay their accomplishments. Anytime women acted with equal assertiveness to men, they were perceived as being too bossy, and likewise, ambition and competitiveness are negatively associated with like-ability for women whereas it’s the opposite for men.

On the flip side, when women conform to feminine gender norms, they’re perceived as less leaderlike than men. Even when?women were well represented, their workplace often still?had a boys’ club mentality where decisions were made mostly by men. And lastly, some women find no other choice but to limit their aspirations due to personal obligations. In other words, their workplace was not supportive of combining work with family.?

So…

Damned if they do. Damned if they don’t.

Simply put, gender bias is often used to refer to the preferential treatment men receive. It’s been erroneously thought that once workplaces and industries achieve gender balance, bias will decrease, and gender gaps will close. This, sometimes being referred to as the “add women and stir” approach. Allow me laugh out loud at this point. Needless to say, people, those I talked about in the beginning, tend to think that having more women present is all that’s needed to promote change. But simply adding women into a workplace does not change the structures and systems that benefit men more than women.

So, to the women I say…

You’ve probably heard it said that if a fish judged itself by how well it could climb a tree, it would spend its life thinking it was a loser, or something like that… The same applies to you and to all women. If God had wanted us to be like men, he’d have made us that way.

But He didn’t. And it’s that which sets you apart, that is your greatest super-power. Embrace everything that makes you, you! After all, our greatest strength lays in what sets us apart, not what makes us the same.

Secondly, defy the norm! Break that window and kick that door. Unlearn everything you have ever been taught and dare to try everything you’ve been told you can never do! The maxim that “Tried and done is better than perfect” is one you should try to live by, sometimes more often than not.?

And for the men…

To the men who have read this far… thank you for caring about the women in your life and in the world. I have a simple invitation for you in breaking the bias for International Women’s Day.

But don’t just do it in words, do it in actions too.

?#breakthebias