What Are the Balances in Your DMQ Relationship Accounts?

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good.

In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” — Anthony Robbins

How do your DMQ Relationship Accounts look, professionally and personally?

Are you effectively using your Holistic-DMQ to determine if you have positive or negative balances with your most important clients, connections, Inner-Circle, significant other, etc.?

Caution: Before you rush to answer that question, accurately assessing these relationships isn’t as easy as it first appears!

The reason this question is difficult to answer, most people aren’t aware of the first and most important determinant, in answering the question. I’ve failed to recognize this many times!

The most important step, is determining what “Accounting Method” the organizational decision maker / other person is using to determine the “Balance” in the DMQ Relationship Account.

Why is the Accounting Method so important? It determines every next interaction with the organization or person. If both of you are not using the same Accounting Method, there are complete disconnects and neither of you understands why the disconnects are happening!

Professionally, many executives have egos that impact the Accounting Method they choose; and, personally many are suffering from stress and various mental issues (depression, anxiety, etc.) or compromised DMQ, that greatly impacts the Accounting Method they choose. Further; the need for decision-control, self-interests, etc., or openness, collaboration, etc., significantly influences the Accounting Method chosen.

Here are 3 Accounting Methods, commonly observed, if you think about this closely.

Method #1: LIFO (Last In, First Out) – This is characterized by weighting the last “deposit” or “withdrawal” disproportionately high. Thus; if you had a positive balance of 50 units and you make a deposit of 100 units, your balance objectively would be 150 units, but with this Accounting Method, you would have a balance in the 250 to 500 range. The reverse would also take place for “withdrawals”.

Method #2: Dichotomous – This is characterized by the other organization / person always maintaining a “Near Zero Balance”. Thus; whatever you’ve done for them lately, a “deposit” or “withdrawal”, determines if you have a slightly positive or negative balance. 

Method #3: Cumulative – This is characterized by every deposit and withdrawal being included to create an ongoing cumulative, net balance, just like a bank account. Since deposits and withdrawals vary in size and timing, it isn’t the number of deposits or withdrawals that matter (or when they’re made). If you make 3 deposits of 100 units, you can withdrawal 5 units of 50, while maintaining a balance of +50. This is materially accurate… not literally, since the value of each deposit or withdrawal is prone to subjective interpretation. Although this appears to be the most rationale method, it is, as you’ve probably observed, not the most common Accounting Method chosen.

Let’s return to the original question, “How do your DMQ Relationship Accounts look professionally and personally?” We’ll need to look at each relationship and first, incorporate the Accounting Method used in the relationship, in order to answer the question as accurately as possible. Professionally, this concept can be particularly valuable by integrating the Accounting Method used by each relationship, into your CRM Solution.

Business and life are complicated. This isn’t news to anyone. However; are you effectively adjusting to these Accounting Method complexities to optimize the probability of your success? Execution-Excellence (Ex-Ex) of this ambiguous variable is a key to success, once you’ve used your Holistic-DMQ to accurately determine the Accounting Method the other has chosen in each relationship. 

Let’s look at a few examples on how these different Accounting Methods can play out.

Professional Example – The President of your F100 company receives a major complaint from the city’s well-known orchestra, who uses your company’s services. The President is on the orchestra’s Board of Directors. You run with the issue and resolve it timely, effectively and professionally. Depending on the President’s Accounting Method:

• You may get a promotion (LIFO Method)
• You just stay in a positive standing (Dichotomous Method)
• You have the contribution added to your cumulative scorecard (Cumulative Method).

 Non-Profit Example – You volunteer 10 hours a week at the local Non-Profit. You don’t believe your 40+ hours of volunteering per month are appreciated, so you decide to share your volunteer hours elsewhere. Depending on the Non-Profit’s Accounting Method, the former Non-Profit could:

• Undo various initiatives you implemented, to express they didn’t need you (LIFO Method)
• Thank you and forget about you (Dichotomous Method)
• Thank you, keep many of your good ideas rolling and still try to retain your talents (Cumulative Method).

Personal Example – You’ve been married for 5 years and your spouse wants to leave her corporate position to start a new business. In year #1, the forecasted revenue from the business is 50% of her corporate salary, then 100% in year #2 and 200% in year #3. You recommend:

• Against the transition since her income is expected to be much less in the next 12 months (LIFO Method).
• Against the transition since her income will diminish immediately (Dichotomous Method).
• Her pursuing this new initiative since she’s been an amazing, intelligent and hard-working spouse over the last 5 years (Cumulative Method).

 The beautiful confluence of Holistic-DMQ and Execution-Excellence, form Holistic-Relationship Accounts!

There isn’t objectively a “right” or “wrong” Accounting Method; but it’s key for us to understand which Accounting Method each organizational decision maker or person is using, as well as our own Accounting Method, to foster more effective relationships!

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