What to avoid in your forties?

I recently ascended to the fourth floor of life and began to reflect more on life. I quickly realized that a big part of winning in life is simply avoiding failure. In essence, trying to avoid loss is often a better strategy than trying to win. This kind of mentality is often referred to as inversion thinking. The principle of inversion thinking is based on the maxim of German mathematician Carl Gustav Jacob Jacobi, who often said, “Invert, always invert.” Jacobi believed that many difficult problems are best solved by addressing them backward. Basically, you envision what could go wrong, and work backwards to avoid it. Charlie Munger popularized Jacobi's maxim and often said, "The only thing I want to know is where I'm going to die, so I never go there." Inversion thinking can be applied to many disciplines, including business, politics, sports, investing, and law.

So. when you're in your forties, you might feel like you've got life more or less figured out. You've worked hard to build a stable career, and you’re likely raising a family that brings you a lot of joy. But there are still some common pitfalls that can sneak in and disrupt everything you’ve built. Here are a few vices and behaviors that can be particularly harmful at this stage of life and which you would do well to avoid:

1. Neglecting Your Health

It’s easy to get caught up in work and family responsibilities, but ignoring your health can have serious consequences. Unhealthy eating, lack of exercise, and poor sleep can lead to problems like high blood pressure, diabetes, or even heart issues. At 40, your body might not bounce back as quickly as it did in your 20s or 30s, so it's essential to prioritize your well-being. Think of it like maintaining a car; regular check-ups, the right fuel (food), and a bit of exercise (tuning) will keep you running smoothly.

2. Overworking or Workaholism

A good career is something to be proud of, but there’s a fine line between being dedicated and becoming a workaholic. Spending excessive time at work can strain your relationships and affect your mental health. Remember, your family needs more than just financial support—they need you to be present. Striking a balance between your career and family life is key. It’s okay to switch off from work emails after hours and spend that time with your loved ones. Your job is important, but so is enjoying the fruits of your labor with those who matter.

3. Ignoring Financial Discipline

By 40, you might be making a decent income, but that doesn’t mean you can afford to throw financial discipline out the window. Overspending, impulse buying, or racking up debt can jeopardize your financial security. Also, avoid trying to keep up with friends or colleagues who appear to have a lavish lifestyle. Focus on saving, investing wisely, and having a plan for your future goals, like your kids’ education or your retirement. This is the time to solidify your financial foundation, not compromise it.

4. Substance Abuse

Drinking a little to relax after work or socializing over a few beers is common, but it can become a slippery slope. Excessive drinking, smoking, or any kind of substance abuse can harm your health and affect your relationships. What starts as a way to unwind could turn into something that controls your life. It’s important to recognize when a habit is becoming a problem and take steps to address it. Small lifestyle changes can make a big difference, like limiting your drinking to weekends or exploring non-alcoholic alternatives.

5. Not Addressing Stress or Mental Health Issues

Life at 40 can be stressful. You’re juggling responsibilities at work, caring for your family, and maybe even dealing with aging parents. But pretending to be fine and suppressing your emotions won’t help. Ignoring your mental health can lead to burnout, anxiety, or depression. Instead, find healthy ways to manage stress, whether it’s through exercise, meditation, hobbies, or even talking to a therapist. There’s no shame in seeking help, and taking care of your mental well-being is just as important as staying physically fit.

6. Falling Into the Comfort Zone Trap

You might have settled into a routine by now, but getting too comfortable can stop you from growing. Whether it’s in your career, relationships, or personal development, staying stagnant can lead to boredom and unfulfillment. Keep challenging yourself to learn new skills, meet new people, and step outside your comfort zone. It doesn’t have to be drastic—maybe try a new hobby, read a book on a topic you know nothing about, or learn a new skill that could enhance your career.

7. Allowing Relationships to Drift

It's easy to take relationships for granted, especially after years of being together. But love and connection need nurturing. Neglecting your partner, not spending quality time with your kids, or losing touch with friends can leave you feeling isolated. Make an effort to connect—date nights, playing with your kids, or even a simple phone call to an old friend can keep those bonds strong. Be especially careful not to disrupt your marriage. A stable and happy marriage is often a solid foundation for success in life. Avoid, at all costs, extra marital affairs. Many a good man have been ruined by letting their pants down.

8. Being Rigid or Resistant to Change

At 40, you might have a clear set of beliefs and ways of doing things, but the world around you is constantly changing. Being too rigid can lead to missed opportunities, whether in your career, investments, or personal life. Stay open-minded, be willing to adapt, and don’t shy away from new ideas. Flexibility isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength because it means you’re open to learning and growing.

9. Comparing Yourself to Others

By now, you might look around and see peers who seem more successful, wealthier, or more accomplished. But comparing yourself to others only creates unnecessary stress. Everyone’s journey is different, and success is not a one-size-fits-all thing. Focus on your path, celebrate your own milestones, and be content with your progress. Remember, the grass may look greener on the other side, but it’s just as important to water your own lawn.

10. Lack of Planning for the Future

Living in the moment is great, but not having a plan for the future can lead to a lot of uncertainty. At 40, it’s important to think ahead—whether it’s planning for your kids’ education, setting aside funds for emergencies, or building a retirement nest egg. Knowing you have a plan can give you peace of mind, even when life throws unexpected challenges your way.

The key takeaway is to be mindful of your choices and how they affect your health, relationships, and future. Life at 40 can be beautiful and fulfilling if you avoid these pitfalls and focus on what truly matters. Remember, avoid failure and loss as much as possible, and don't go to places where you might die. Invert, always invert!