What Admitting My Anxiety Taught Me About "Authenticity" and Why Brands Should Pay Attention

"Long Post Alert: I have anxiety. There, that’s out of the way. I want to start there for those people who won’t read the rest. Today is day 5 traveling and I’m on a train somewhere between Prague and Vienna. I’m writing this on impulse and may regret it, but I think it’s important. A lot of people have reached out saying they “wish they could travel alone” and how I’m fortunate to be able to do so. As if I had some special characteristic that made traveling solo manageable. The reality is, I absolutely hate traveling alone. The reason my Instagram Story is the length of a Michael Bay film is because I’m lonely. At times, sick to my stomach lonely. Sharing my moments with you all connects me with you, at least indirectly, and makes me feel better. And traveling in general gives me anxiety. Not “anxious nerves”, anxiety. Tight chest, heart aching, can’t sleep, full blown anxiety. To the point where I have my doctor prescribe medication. I’m an extrovert so I meet people eventually and I’m not depressed, just to make that clear, so I’m mentioning this for 2 reasons. 1) I never regret traveling… eventually. So if you’re afraid, understand that it’s natural and that each time you travel, you get better at it. And perhaps more importantly 2) I’m not hiding behind a stigma that “anxiety” or “sadness” makes me less of a man or capable human being. Suicide rates are up 25% over the last 17 years. Kate Spade and celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain may have brought this to the forefront, but it’s been an issue for the last two decades. Mental health should be viewed the same way as physical health. Emotional Hygiene the same way as physical hygiene. I’ve been to therapy and I have an appointment when I get back to go again. I’m happy with my life, I love my job, and I’m in one of the most beautiful countries in the world, but I’m human. So if someone’s reading this who feels ashamed or embarrassed because they aren’t happy, please talk to someone, anyone. Heck, talk to me if need be, just know you’re not alone."

-@jamesdmorin, Instagram, June 12th, 2018

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It was a moment of weakness.

At least I thought.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. I could write an entire blog on the lessons I’ve learned while traveling, both personally and professionally. Admitting that I have anxiety is apparently a lesson that checked off both boxes.

Before I get started, I’ll set the stage. I made a fairly raw social media post (quoted above) on my personal struggle with occasional anxiety and loneliness while solo-traveling. The inspiration behind the post was to encourage other people to get outside of their own comfort zone and to, more importantly, remove the veil of stigma around mental health. I was 50/50 on whether or not I’d have the guts to keep the post up, but then people started to reach out. And then more. Before I knew it, my inboxes on instagram and facebook were flooded with messages, and I knew that I somehow struck a chord.

Throughout the rest of this post, you'll read actual (anonymous) quotes I received from friends, family, and complete strangers. What I learned is straight forward; the world CRAVES more authenticity.

Here is how it all unfolded.

I was sitting in passenger car 25, seat 26 on CIV 1154 from Prague to Vienna, reflecting. It had been an eventful morning. An hour before I had looked down and read 8:38am on my watch. My train was scheduled to depart at 8:51. I was waiting to talk to someone in the ticket line even though I already had a ticket purchased and printed in my hand. Not a single word on the ticket was in English and I had absolutely no idea where to go. It was easy enough to follow signs for the rail (there were pictures after all), but I was at a loss after that. “International” translates to mezinárodní in Czech, so powers of deduction weren’t all that helpful. The only thing I really felt comfortable with was my departure time.  The ticket officer wasn’t much help either. We had a back and forth of broken english with the overarching call to action of “Follow Sign”. I did however get one important piece of information- “4S”. That was my platform and at least numbers and letters I could understand.

"Love these words James. So inspiring to read real, raw vulnerability, there are too many walls in this world, thank you for choosing not to hide behind any."

When the train came It was 8:52, I was alone, and was only moderately confident that I was on the correct platform. It’s hard to explain the feeling of taking a step onto a train with less than 60% confidence you’re actually going the right direction. Especially when you are in a country without cell service or adequate understanding of their language. It was an anxious moment, to say the least.

I managed to show my ticket to someone in what appeared to be a uniform, and they nonchalantly nodded their head in affirmation. That was going to have to do. For the first few minutes of my trip I sat in my seat and watched my blue dot on Google Maps to see what direction I was going. It wasn’t until then that I honestly felt secure that I was, in fact, heading to Vienna. All of this sucked. It SUCKED.

"Thanks for being real. I'm not on FB much anymore but caught your post today. Our true authentic selves are what connect us to people. So thank you- I'm sure that post touched more people than you know." 

After taking a moment to collect myself, I started to reflect on the trip so far. It had been 5 days since I left Maine, with 10 days left before I was to head back home. I had spent the last 3.5 days in Prague, would spend the next 3.5 in Vienna, and would then be heading to Zurich and Germany for The OutDoor Show for Flowfold. The first half of the trip was personal, the second half was professional.

This isn’t my first rodeo when it comes to travel. Nor is it my first battle with travel anxiety. For that matter, it’s not my first battle with anxiety at all, but that isn’t the story here. This is a story about the impact of admitting it. Before I go on, I do want to make one thing clear; I’m OK. Having anxiety is shockingly normal and it’s not a constant emotion. There are triggers and It comes and goes. The vast majority of people who read my Instagram post reached out in support of me being “raw”, “real”, or “authentic”. But there was a small minority that “sent their prayers” or, at times, literally quoted me bible verses. Appreciated? Sure. Necessary? Not really.

"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for writing your post today. I think it's really easy at this moment in our history to look at other people's facebook/insta/twitter feeds and think everyone's life is great but our own. You my friend have been blessed with a mighty fine life that looks incredible and being honest with yourself and the general public is so darn hard. THANK YOU for being honest. THANK YOU for telling your truth."

Like most millennials, I’m fairly active on social media, but that activity spikes when I travel. I had posted quite a few photos and Instagram stories from Prague and many people reached out about how they “wish they could travel alone” too.  I’m no influencer, far from it, but I won’t apologize for sharing my most beautiful moments on Instagram. There is so much negativity in the world and I see no reason to bring more of it to my followers. But I did realize that what I post is not an accurate reflection of solo travel. Nor was it an actual reflection of how I felt about it. In that moment (still anxious from finding my train) I decided to set the record straight. Ironically enough, on social media.

I’d like to admit the obvious- I’m not a psychiatrist. I won’t pretend to be an expert on the issue of anxiety, depression, or suicide. The picture and caption were never intended to generate a blog post. It certainly wasn’t meant to inspire personal or business lessons. I was just being honest. That honesty, however, create a post that, for my standards at least, went about as “viral” as it can go. My average post maybe gets 100 likes with 3 comments (with me being one of them). Last checked, the above post had nearly 500 likes and 80 comments. That was just on instagram. Facebook also had a similar level of engagement.

"You just don't see authenticity like this anymore. I wish more people spoke out about how they are feeling and what it is they are dealing with on an every day basis......what is troubling them. What you posted is powerful and took courage."

From the outside looking in, I’m pretty well put together. I always did well in school, I’m healthy, and at least relatively good looking.  I have no issues making fun of myself, I do it often, and I’m an extrovert by nature. I’m part owner of a company that is growing fast and (at least trying) to make an impact in our local community. I genuinely love my job and the people I work with. I have two really awesome roommates, my rent is cheap, and Portland Maine, for all it’s worth, is still one of my favorite cities in the world. I’m not sharing this out of some vain self-aggrandizement. The point here is that no one would know that I’ve been prescribed anti anxiety medicine or that I’ve been and will continue to go to therapy. I suppose that’s really no one’s business, but in a world where everyone is comparing their lives to someone else’s, perhaps it's everyone’s business.

The response was overwhelming. Said simply, what I learned is that the world craves more authenticity. From people and brands. More now than ever before. It’s a noisy world so honest and authentic people and brands WILL win. Some of the most engaging and trustworthy people I have ever met all have characteristics that embody this. They are self aware, open minded, accepting, and unapologetically authentic. These are people that can simultaneously make you feel good about yourself while also motivating you to practice self improvement.

"I love the you’re real and open with your followers because our “highlight reels” can be so misleading most days."

Being honest and authentic is an important building block to positive relationships in your personal lives but the lessons certainly don’t stop there. For those individuals making a living from their personal brands (influencers, consultants, sales/marketing professionals), authenticity can be what separates you from your competitors. If you love fitness, post about fitness. If you like to write, then blog. If you’re a video creator, get in front of or behind a camera. Whatever you do, just be your true self. THE TRUTH IS UNDEFEATED.

Companies that maintain authenticity will continue to find success. Again, I’m no more an economist than I am a psychiatrist, but it’s in my opinion that many recent bankruptcies in the retail industry are a result of companies not sticking to their core competencies. They weren’t being authentic with themselves and their customer base picked up on that. The reason why millennials pay more attention to user generated content over sponsored posts is for exactly that reason. These posts or reviews are (or at the very least appear to be) more authentic. Companies need to take a look internally and reevaluate their “DNA”. Dig deep into their corporate culture, their mission and vision and make sure that their customers see truth every day. From product development to customer service, everything should match that DNA. Period.

"Thanks for sharing this James. I know some of us look up to you and your endless ambition so it's nice to see you're human like the rest of us"

I began my post with “I may regret this” but I can say now, from seat 30F Icelandair FL631 from Reykjavik to Boston that I do NOT regret the post. This whole experience was a lesson for me and honestly, I don’t know what your takeaway might be. But I’m issuing a challenge.

First, to any companies out there who have made it to this point, I challenge you to re-think what “authenticity” means for your brand and for your customers. I’m asking you to do more than just have a mission and vision page on your website. Live that mission, and see that your vision becomes a reality. Do it every day. Every single day. Because people need that now. I run a company, I understand that margins, revenues, expenses, campaigns, investor reports and quarterly updates are the buzzwords that are talked about  more often than not in board meetings. And they are important. But understand, it’s becoming overly clear to me that your customers want to know more about what you love, what you stand for, and how you’re making a difference in the world. You might not be able to deposit that into a bank account, but when the cost of customer acquisition is high, what is the ROI of having those customers follow you for life because they believe in your views? Believe in your truth?

"Knowing others feel the same is a great way to have that human connection we all strive for."

Second, my challenge to individuals reading this, and a reminder to myself, is to adjust your expectations. My original intent of the instagram post was to encourage you to get outside of your comfort zone. That’s still there. The magic doesn’t happen in your comfort zone. Sitting here now however, I realize there’s probably a deeper takeaway for all of us. My old man used to always tell me that when he was growing up he “didn’t know he was poor” because everyone around him was just like him. We often say now that the world is small. We’re connected to all parts of the world instantaneously through email, tv, and social media. I don’t refute that, but for my dad and every generation before me, the world was literally SMALL. It was what you saw around you. Back then you only had to worry about comparing yourself to your local community. Now, we’re in an day and age where you’re comparing yourself to the entire world. And that view of the world is most certainly through rose colored glasses. So I implore you to find your own truth. You don’t need to broadcast it to the world like I did. That was just how I admitted my own limitations to myself. Find your way of doing that. Find your DNA. Embrace it. Because you are beautiful, you are unique, and the world is ready for your most authentic self.