What 5 Years in Sales Taught Me About Mental Performance

When I started in real estate, I didn’t realize I was stepping into the world of sales. My days were filled with cold calls, follow-ups, and training my team on the basics of persuasion. But here’s the twist—I didn’t even see myself as a salesperson. In fact, I hated the idea of being a salesperson.

But here I was.

At the beginning, I thought success was all about having the right script or the perfect pitch, building rapport and being likable. But month after month, call after call, I discovered that it wasn’t the words that mattered most—it was my mindset. The REAL game-changer wasn’t in what I was saying or how I said it, but in how I handled rejection, pressure, and the mental ups and downs.

That’s when I realized: success in sales is more about mental performance than sales tactics.

Let me share the key mental skills that made all the difference.

Resilience is the Backbone of Sales

In my first year in real estate sales, I spent most of my time cold calling. I still hate cold calling to this day, but back then, it was my daily grind. Here’s how most of those calls went:

Me: “Hi, I was wondering if you’re looking to sell a property in Savannah right now.. We’re looking for a few properties in the area.”

Them: “Go to hell and take your mom there too.”

Now, imagine doing that 1,000 more times. It was brutal, and it didn’t get better overnight. I remember the first time I got a different response:

Me: “Hi, I was wondering if you’re looking to sell a property in Savannah right now.. We’re looking for a few properties in the area.”

Them: “Yes, I am looking to sell a house right now.”

I was so shocked I didn’t even know what to say next. I ended up getting the house under contract. But guess what? That deal didn’t go through either. It took six more months before I closed my first deal, and that’s when the avalanche started. Suddenly, we were closing deal after deal. But the truth is, it wasn’t any sales script that got me there—it was resilience.

Resilience is defined as the capacity to withstand and recover quickly from difficulties. But here’s the key word I was missing in the early days: quickly. I wasn’t used to hearing “no” so often, and when I did, it took me far too long to recover. I needed to take days off to bounce back from the rejection. But as I pushed through, I realized the “no’s” were inevitable, and the quicker I could get back in the game, the better.

Present-Moment Focus

One of the biggest lessons I learned was the importance of being present. During those early calls, my mind was always somewhere else—thinking about the last rejection or fantasizing about closing a huge deal. But neither of those thoughts were helpful. What was helpful was being where my feet were, focusing on the task at hand without worrying about the outcome.

When I started practicing this, I became more grounded, a better listener, and oddly enough, hearing “no” wasn’t so bad anymore. I found that being in the present moment allowed me to fully engage with each call, each conversation. I wasn’t distracted by past failures or future hopes; I was right there, doing the work in front of me.

Whenever I found myself drifting into the past or future, I’d stop, take a few deep breaths, and bring myself back to the present. That simple practice helped me stay in the game, call after call. It made me realize that each “no” was just a step closer to a “yes,” and the quicker I moved through them, the better.

Energy Management

Taking those deep breaths did more than just ground me—they helped me manage my energy. Sales is a high-pressure environment, and it’s easy to get caught up in the anxiety of it all. You know those butterflies in your stomach, the voice trembling, the heart pounding as you pick up the phone for the hundredth time? Yeah, I felt those too.

But when I focused on my breathing, it activated my parasympathetic nervous system, calming me down and allowing me to think more clearly. This wasn’t just a mental trick—it was a physiological shift that helped me move out of fight-or-flight mode. Instead of wasting energy on anxious thoughts, I could use it to actually engage with the person on the other end of the line.

Managing my energy meant I could sustain my effort throughout the day without burning out. It wasn’t about pushing harder; it was about working smarter, conserving my mental and emotional resources so I could be at my best for each interaction. Over time, this approach made me much more effective in sales, because I wasn’t just going through the motions—I was fully present, energized, and focused.

Values

One of the most transformative shifts for me was connecting my work to my values. Initially, I was so focused on making money. I’d just gotten out of grad school, and I was chasing the dream of financial success. But every time a deal fell through, the disappointment was crushing.

It wasn’t until I connected my daily work to being of service and helping others that I started to see real progress. It wasn’t just about making money anymore—it was about living out my values through my work. The more I focused on service, the more resilient I became. And as I shifted my focus, the outcomes I had once fantasized about started to come naturally.

By aligning my actions with my values, I found a deeper sense of purpose in what I was doing. It wasn’t just about closing deals; it was about making a positive impact on the lives of the people I was working with. This shift in perspective not only made me more resilient but also more fulfilled. I wasn’t just chasing numbers—I was building relationships and creating value, which in turn led to greater success.

Conclusion

Looking back on the last five years, I realize that the real lessons I learned in sales had little to do with the traditional sales techniques. Sure, knowing your product and having a solid pitch are important, but they’re not the foundation of long-term success. The true foundation lies in mental skills—resilience, present-moment focus, energy management, and aligning your work with your values.

These skills didn’t just help me close more deals; they helped me become a better, more grounded person. They taught me how to handle rejection, stay focused under pressure, and find meaning in my work. And perhaps most importantly, they showed me that success isn’t just about what you do—it’s about how you think and who you are in the process.

As I continue to grow in my career, I know these lessons will stay with me, guiding me through new challenges and opportunities. And I hope they can serve as a reminder to others in sales, or any field, that the key to success isn’t just out there—it’s within you.

With love,

James