What 5 Unconventional Coaches Taught Me About Being A Better Leader

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As a frequent traveler to Japan, I started learning the language four years ago. But in between grammar and vocabulary, my Japanese tutor ended up offering a deeper lesson.

“Craig,” she asked me early on, “What do you truly need from these lessons?” Was my goal to pass a language test? To hold a business meeting in Japanese? To understand jokes over an Asahi in a noisy izakaya?

There’s a takeaway here for any business leader who wants to motivate others. Skilled coaches know that moving people forward starts with understanding where they — not the coach — want to go.??

A lifelong learner, I’ve worked with many non-business coaches, in fields as diverse as foreign language, music, sports and the Army. Besides helping me develop new skills, the best coaches taught me about leadership and effectively coaching the team around me.

I’m not talking about business or even management insights. These are lessons in the art of coaching itself: how to help people achieve a step-change in performance with long-term impact for them, the people they lead, and the organization at large.?

Having benefited from so much incredible coaching professionally and personally, I’ve tried to pay it forward and apply what I’ve learned. Here are a few more key insights on the art of coaching at work, from some surprising places.?

Tap into people’s passion (courtesy of my piano teacher)

I took up the piano late in life — by following my children into lessons. For recitals, where I might be the only adult, our teacher arranges almost any song a student wants at their skill level. One of the kids might go with Taylor Swift, but at our last recital, I played the theme from Amélie.?

Why does this matter? Truly leveling up is always hard, whether it’s learning to play piano or run a board meeting. My piano teacher knows that to sustain growth, you have to find a deeper reserve of energy, motivation and even joy. It can’t all be a grind.?

As a coach, appealing to somebody’s passions in this way yields dividends. In fact, research shows that injecting fun into learning consistently leads to better outcomes.???

What does that mean in the business context? Find ways to make employee projects, initiatives and coaching opportunities more enjoyable and meaningful by tapping into personal interests and professional development goals. Lululemon has long been a pioneer in this regard — dedicated to supporting employees in all facets of their growth, even if it means preparing them for a career outside of the company.

To give better feedback, think like a book editor (courtesy of my editor at Penguin Press)?

When my memoir The Unforgiving Minute went through the editing process, it was an eye-opener.?

I submitted a 130,000-word manuscript and anxiously awaited an edit, expecting page after page of red ink. Nope. Instead, I received a brief letter from the editor. The book had too many characters, too much jargon, and it lacked dialogue. Oh, and where’s the human interest? Tell me more about your family.?

At first, I was baffled. Then I realized something profound was happening. Rather than focus on superficial feedback, my editor had invested time and energy to identify the book’s fundamental flaws — and suggest improvements.

Likewise, when coaching your people, resist that initial impulse to critique and correct at the superficial level. Pull back and instead look at the big picture and underlying issues. After a subpar presentation at work, for example, it’s easy enough to tell someone to speak louder or make more eye contact. But a far better approach is to get at the root cause, which might be unfamiliarity with the material or a lack of confidence.

Ratchet up the difficulty like a good drill sergeant (courtesy of my Army Ranger instructor)

Gunnery Sgt. Oakes, one of my instructors at the US Army’s Ranger School, was a soft-spoken leader, but he had an edge. To make our training more realistic, Gunny Oakes would keep increasing the difficulty level. First, we’d rehearse an ambush in broad daylight. Next, do it blindfolded. Finally, do it at night, in the rain, against an opposing force.?

The same concept applies in business. To help people grow, first set reasonable goals and then slowly raise the bar.

For example, if a direct report wants to spearhead a new product line — and you think they’re up to the challenge — don’t simply throw them to the wolves unsupported. Taking a cue from the celebrated Amazon Method, you might instead begin by asking them to draft a mock press release. Once they’ve nailed that, have them work on customer FAQs — and only then start wading into the development process.??

You can’t neglect the whole person. You just can’t (courtesy of my sparring partner at West Point)

When I was younger, I was a keen competitive wrestler. Any old coach could have taught me technique and tactics, but the best ones implicitly knew that while winning the championship would be nice, it isn’t what really mattered.?

At West Point, I would train each year for the school-wide open wrestling tournament with my sparring partner, friend and coach, a cadet two years ahead of me. Training sessions were gruelling — running stadium stairs in the cold winter mornings, reflex drills with tennis balls, live matches.?

But he was explicit that character development was the objective, wrestling just the means to that end. If our training made me a better future platoon leader, it was worth it.?

Business leaders, of course, are always beholden to the bottom line and the imperatives of profit and growth. But truly moving your people forward requires taking a broader, holistic view of their values and caring about their personal growth.?

To create a more inclusive environment for its employees, for instance, Heineken took Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs into account. That meant considering their physiology, sense of belonging, self-actualization, self-esteem and safety — contributors to development that are hard to capture in a spreadsheet.?

Ultimately, when it comes to coaching and motivating people, it’s crucial to keep an open mind. Not all the answers lie in the corporate world, as much as you might gain from devouring the business bestseller list or working with a high-profile executive coach. As I’ve found, the most useful coaching strategies can come from just about any discipline.

Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear your perspective in the comments below. For more insights on taking your leadership and career to the next level, be sure to subscribe to Connected Leadership to have this delivered each month to your inbox.