What 2020 Has Taught Me

2020, perhaps the most difficult year of my adult life. With every difficulty, my thoughts were, if only I get through this, I will value the health and happiness of my family above all else, if only I get through this, I will live my life according to my own rules, if only I get through this, I will live my tomorrow’s dreams today, if only I get through this, I will value the freedom and the independence that I have to choose, if only…

Many if onlys later and here we are.

The end of a year that besides all of its challenges, has taught me many lessons. Lessons that were already buried deep in my brain, but I never really fully applied them to my life.

When life is ‘’normal’’ (as you expect it to be), you have no real force for change. Many years ago, I lessoned to a Ted talk by Mel Robbins (How to stop screwing yourself over) and it made a real impression on me. She mentioned when you ask people ‘’how are you?’’ most people’s response is: ‘’fine’’. What ‘’fine’’ really means is that they are well enough to handle the pain and pressures of their life but not under enough pressure to change. It means not happy but not sad enough to pursue happiness.

I experienced less than ‘’fine’’ in 2020. Less than ‘’fine’’ makes you realise what you can live without and what you can’t. When crisis happens, you have an instant realization, some people call this epiphany; an instant realization of what really matters in life. If you are lucky, you can have real epiphanies without a life crisis. Without true epiphany, you’ll remember the lessons for a short while then it will all be forgotten.

Here’s five key lessons that 2020 has taught me in the face of its deepest challenges:

Lesson Number One: Always be Your Authentic Self

‘’Adult life’’ often puts you in a position of pretend, pretending that you’re happy, pretending that you are doing well, pretending that you are a good person, pretending that you care and the list goes on and on. Before you know it, you are wearing a mask to represent a persona that other people expect of you (or maybe that’s just your perception!) and a real self which you eventually lose sight of.

Some people’s solution to that is: surround yourself with people who will accept your authentic self. That is not always a realistic nor an idealistic solution. For real change to happen in this world, we need to challenge the status quo and put ourselves in uncomfortable positions. The real achievement is being authentic in environments where authenticity is rare.

Authenticity is key to our happiness. It is through authenticity that we discover who we are and realise our full potentials.

Lesson Number Two: Tomorrow Is Not Promised, You Only Have Now to Live.

2020 made me realise that some of the items on my ‘’nice to have/nice to do’’ list actually belongs to the ‘’urgent to do list’’. Calling my grandma was on my nice to do list which I was planning to do when I have time. Little did I know that I will lose this chance forever.

If you love someone, whether it’s family, friends, colleagues or even strangers tell them/show them now. Unsaid love turns into regret.

If you love doing something, whether it’s volunteering, painting, trying a new job, setting up a new venture, do it now or at least work towards being able to do it in the near future.

Life is limited. We need to create a greater sense of urgency on things that matters to us most.

Lesson Number Three: Exercise Kindness

A simple act of kindness, when one’s life is full of darkness makes a big difference to their world. We need to learn to actively exercise kindness rather than leaving it to chance, or even worse, being kind because we expect something in return.

It’s strange how kindness heals pain, not only the pain of those who we are being kind to, but also of our own. It puts our life into perspective.

If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that we live in a global world. To create a better world for ourselves, we also need to create a better world for our neighbours.

Lesson Number Four: Problems Are Temporary

Having experienced all sorts of struggles this year, I have developed a sense of this too shall pass attitude. 2020 has taught me that at the end of each difficulty, no matter how long they feel, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Life is not designed to be constant, there will always be ups and downs, and some downs may feel like a fall.

No matter how low the downs may feel, with time and a bit of hope, we can rise again.

Lesson Number Five: Take Your Chances

Opportunities present themselves to us in all shapes and forms. We fail to recognize them when we hesitate to take an action. Everything great and life changing that has ever happened to me has been a result of following my curiosity and taking a chance on the opportunities which life has given me.

As Matthew McConaughey shared in his speech to University of Houston graduates (13 Truths in Life), the only thing which we will regret on the last day of our life is the ‘’bread crumbs’’ that we leave behind. It’s the unrealized potentials.

I hope some of these lessons has also resonated with you.

What has 2020 taught you?