“We’ve got to get ourselves back to the garden.”

The Sunday Blog

“We’ve got to get ourselves back to the garden.”

By Joe Still

2022.10.09

You can read past issues and get this on email @ www.joestill.net

Joni Mitchell never made it to Woodstock in 1969,?but her absence will live in infamy through the CSN&Y cover to the words she penned about the 3 days of peace, love, and music: ?”we’ve got to get ourselves back to the garden”.?It’s a timeless snippet of the American lexicon ironically written by a Canadian (who lives in California).

It’s a sad thing these days about the national conversation these days; we’ve wandered away from the garden.?Somehow we’ve become so fully embedded in our silo’s and so filled with hate and contempt for those who disagree with us and our point of view, that in many ways engaging in a discussion about the things that matter and affect us all has become a food fight and nothing more.?For some, it’s all about supporting their color jersey at any cost while for others it’s a mission for the mission’s sake.?But when a position is taken for these kinds of reasons - without inquiry about consequences for the present and without consideration of implications for the future where we will be inevitably living, we become defacto a body of electorate zombies and nothing more.?This conundrum isn’t about patriotism or politics, it’s about how we go about living our lives as individuals and in the collective.

We’ve got to get ourselves back to the garden.

It's been strange to watch the media evolve with over time.?There was a time not so long ago when people like Cronkite, Jennings and Brinkley would offer us just the facts about our world as it unfolded, and it was up to us to pick and choose what we believed.?And we did just that…without favor, without insults, and without disrespect.?But what was once a comfortable bastion of an evening of information intake indulged with tv dinners and the occasional martini has become the new courtroom of the American consciousness.?Instead of providing us both sides of an event and letting us take a position as passive consumers of the facts, we are led to and ultimately fed opinions and positions we are told we must believe.?And after a heaping helping, we are then told to go into the world and defend those positions and opinions, no matter the cost.?The irony of this evolution of our social consciousness is that we often create our positions and opinions before we even have enough information to create them correctly. ?And when we do get that information, sometimes it contradicts our preconceived notions with facts that are irrefutable and as far from “fake” as they could ever be.?But we toss them aside because they contradict what are told we must believe and defend. ?As we’ve gotten deeper down this rabbit hole we’ve lost our ability to critically think, to reason, and to make the kind of inquiry necessary to serve us in the best ways possible.

We’ve got to get ourselves back to the garden.

But perhaps the greatest fallout of this new form of societal consciousness and civil participation is the damage it has caused our most important relationships and even the future of the republic itself.?Some families simply have the rule, “we don’t’ talk about it”.?Some spouses who fly a different flag often hide from the issues as well.?And in the name of avoiding something called “conflict” at the dinner table, some children are never exposed to the basic ideas and ideals for which they will one day become the stewards.?What a sad testimony this is to all of those who have come before us and who have believed in, fought for, and even died for the sanctity and preservation of the one thing besides our biology that makes us who we are as people:?our opinions.?

How do we get ourselves back to the garden?

The Three Stones

The path back to the garden isn’t straight or single.?For some it’s not easy.?And some are never brave enough to even try.?But for those who see the merit and have the temerity to give it a try, there are three stones we can walk that have and will continue to provide a successful, sustainable, and livable way back to the garden.

Stone #1:?Personal Security

The first stone is personal security.?This is the highest and perhaps most difficult road to take, but it inevitably leads us back to the garden every time.?When you have personal security, you don’t beat down those who oppose you.?Quite the opposite.?When you are personally secure in your opinions, you are able to share them while tolerating another that differs from yours.?You are secure enough to make inquiry, to ask reasonable questions, to disagree agreeably and to change your own mind when needed and merited.

Stone #2:?Understanding First

The second stone is found in the words of the great Dr. Steven Covey, “Seek for to understand, then to be understood”.?This path is a sharp turn for many people because it asks us to listen to and ultimately understand a different point of view before sharing our own agenda.?The key to this phrase is the word ‘understand’.?Seek to understand first and to speak second.?Understanding is the most important piece of communication available to anyone.?It builds bridges, it tears down walls, it makes magic.?Conveying understanding another is far, far, far more important than the making of any agreement can ever be.??

Stone #3:?The Longer View

The third stone is to consider the value of the relationship in front of you.?This is a long-term consideration that should be weighed with careful thought before engagement in the now.?Sure, you can have the best rehearsed sermon, you can own the most bullet proof facts, and you can stand tall with courage as David once did against Goliath.?But if in the end the other person just gives you the finger and walks away, what have you really accomplished??As a therapist once famously put it in couples counseling, “would you rather be right or single?”.

In a world gone mad, there is still a simple truth that is alive and well in today’s America:?you still have choice.?It’s true.?You can choose either to interpret this post as just a bunch of fodder and phooey, or you can choose to take a minute and ask yourself if what’s here makes sense and has application to your life.??If it does, take a moment and reflect.?If it doesn’t, just fly your finger and walk away.?But whatever you do, just make sure you get back to the garden.

Good luck and have a good week.

Joe Still

2022.10.09

Cite

“Show me your garden and I shall tell you what you are.”

- Alfred Austin