West vs. East: my journey

Today’s topic is very interesting to me, and let me give you a little background.

My mother noticed that I have a talent for foreign languages, and when it was about time to choose which high school to go to, she encouraged me to apply for a philological school – Karlovaka gimnazija. This is not only a language-focused high school, but it is also Serbia's oldest high school. Its reputation precedes it, and it is also a privilege to attend that school. I happily accepted her proposition because I love languages and there was no math exam needed to enroll in this school.

Soon after, I found out that I had passed the entrance exam, and it was time to choose which language would be my first one. We had a first foreign language for 5 days/week and a second language for 3 days/week. We also had other subjects, but languages were the most important ones.

That year, the department for the Chinese language was about to open and my mom said I should pick Chinese because of all the opportunities it could offer me later in the future. I thought that was a crazy idea because it’s such a difficult language. But she mentioned that I might go to China next year. Of course, I thought it was funny but applied anyway, and for the next four years, I studied Chinese every day.

Long story short, with the miraculous twist of faith or destiny or something else, I won first place in a Chinese language competition, and as a prize I got the chance to study Chinese in China for one semester. How cool! I lived for almost half a year in Beijing, and I had the opportunity to learn about and experience the way of life in a big city in the far East.

Culturally, we are so different, and that’s the beauty of living abroad. We get to experience a different way of living and looking at things. During my stay in Beijing, I learned that Chinese people highly value hard work, dedication, and humility. They don’t value being overly confident and prideful, even if you have something to be proud of. When someone praises you, you should be humble and, of course, say "thank you", but you can also add "哪里哪里，还差得远呢 (no no, there's still a long way to go)" even if you deserved the praise. This way of thinking made me more humble and less boastful about my accomplishments. It definitely served me well, not only in China but in life in general.?

However, when I graduated from university and returned to my home country to start working, I was in a completely different setting. I studied in Istanbul, where East and West meet. It is a very diverse city, with people from literally all over the world. A place where tradition and oriental culture meet with modernity. Then I graduated and got a job in an American corporation, which was and still is quite a unique and different experience.?

Working with Americans and in a western-style business setting, I learned about the importance of confidence and boldly expressing it. But I could say that, generally speaking, people in Western countries, and especially Americans, are quite confident about their own achievements and feel no shame about saying and acknowledging them. This was very odd to me since, in the East, this type of behavior is to be avoided. However, I've always admired Americans' ability to express their accomplishments in a professional and eloquent way.?

Now, I have to balance out these two approaches without feeling like I’m failing on one or the other. It is still hard for me to be confident without feeling like I’m boasting about something. It’s still a learning process for me.

Nevertheless, having been lucky enough to experience both the East and the West (to a certain degree), I cannot say one way is better than the other. Both approaches, the humble and the confident attitude, have their perks and a good reason behind them. The most important thing is not which attitude is better. The most important thing is to take into consideration with whom you’re interacting and adjust accordingly. This doesn’t mean being a fake. It simply means that you have a high degree of cultural awareness and respect for the other person or company.

If we’re not mindful of cultural differences, we might show up as rude or insult someone. The golden rule is really simple: treat everyone the way you want to be treated. Do you want to feel respected, appreciated and honored? Then, show the same to the people you interact with who come from different cultural settings than yours. These little mindful practices will usually be very appreciated by the other side. Be nice for the sake of being nice, and as an old Serbian saying goes, "a nice word can open an iron door".

Have you ever experienced a cultural shock and how have you adjusted to a different cultural setting? I’m curious to know so be free to leave a comment. Let’s thrive together!

Take care,

Teodora