They Were Wrong.
(If you would rather listen to this or are visually impaired I recorded this article and posted it on YouTube )
Have you ever been told or believed that something so intrinsically woven into your being is a flaw or worthless?
I have.
I have been told I wear my heart on my sleeve
That my emotions are too much
To stop being so sensitive
I have been treated like my feelings are not important
I have been told I should toughen up
Crying is a sign of weakness
Don't forget the classic saying of sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me
To stop caring so much
I have been told all these things and more by people that I love, adults, kids, strangers, co-workers, bosses, friends, classmates, society, all kinds of people my entire life.
I have been bullied and excluded because I just wasn't like the other kids. I didn't always care about the same things they cared about. I didn't see the world in the same way. I didn't understand social hierarchies and how to know my place in them. I was naive and thought that I could just be kind and others would be too. I never fit into any cliques or groups and just had maybe 1 or 2 friends at any given time. I believed the lies and didn't see value or beauty in myself. I was lost in my emotions and confusion and self-doubt, my parents didn't know how to help me and then my mom was lost in her own emotions and grief of losing her mom for years starting my freshman year of high school. During this time I also had the added benefit of teenager hormones thrown into the mix.
I was convinced that my emotions were a flaw. During these years I tried to start putting my emotions away in boxes. I refused to cry during sad movies or let anyone else know I cried. I put on a happy face and locked all the emotions I could away. I couldn't show I was weak. This went on for years, well into my adult life. I wouldn't acknowledge my feelings let alone deal with them. I took blow after blow of people not believing in me, that I had no value, that I would never amount to anything, treating me badly. I felt so alone. It was the lowest time in my life.
Fast forward 20 years and I have a loving husband of 13 years that has worked hard to reverse the lies I believed in and it has not been an easy road but I have learned that my emotions are NOT a flaw! They are NOT worthless! Having empathy for other people and wanting to help them is NOT a bad thing. Showing emotion, being true to yourself, following your true passions and what God made you for, expressing and dealing with emotions and feelings as they come, and caring about and being empathetic towards others is NOT a flaw, it is NOT a weakness, it is a SUPERPOWER and very POWERFUL!
But I will never forget my struggle and I am trying to do things differently with my two young boys. I will keep the heart in my business and I won't stop being different and following my own path! I don't have to see the world like everyone else, I don't have to follow the norm, and I am still valuable, in fact it might make me more valuable. I am not a mass produced product that everyone has that is expendable, I am rare and hard to find, I don't need to fit in, I will find my people, people that value me for me, not who I am trying to be, but my authentic self. I am not walking around like a shell of a person, suppressing myself and fitting myself into a box, cutting off important parts of my being to fit in. I am working hard at transforming into the butterfly that will take me to places I never dreamed I could go. Every day I am transforming into who I was always meant to be and the feeling surpasses words to describe it! I have this fire in my soul and I'm full of passion and it's driving me to reach for the stars.
I hope you stop believing in the lies that you've been told.
Take a moment to watch this powerful Spoken Word Poetry by Shane Koyczan. It is well worth the seven and a half minutes. Make sure your sound is up!
They Were Wrong.
You are worthy.
You are valuable.
You are beautiful.
Stop locking away parts of yourself to fit into someone else's box. Teach your kids to accept others and that starts with you accepting yourself. It continues by accepting others. Embrace each other's differences and celebrate them!
"Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."
What lies have you been believing? What lies have you overcome? Leave a comment if you dare to be vulnerable, which is a strength by the way, not a weakness.
If you found this inspirational or helpful please like, comment, and share
Follow me on LinkedIn @AmandaSwift and @DoodlebugArtCreations
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Website https://www.DoodlebugArtCreations.com
Mom of many hats | Grief Coach | I guide people as they convert Grief into Growth in their OWN WAY without expectations, judgement, despair.
4 年As a Grief Coach, one of the greatest measures of growth in my clients is their ability to be vulnerable. In a recent coaching session, my client and friend reported that it was the most powerful session he'd had. Why? Because he had the courage to be vulnerable. And from that vulnerability and willingness to share emotions, came a deepness and richness in the relationship that wasn't there before. So I agree, Amanda, vulnerability and sharing emotions is a superpower!
Peer Support Specialist Administration
4 年“I don't have to see the world like everyone else, I don't have to follow the norm, and I am still valuable, in fact it might make me more valuable.” Wow this is just what I needed this very moment. Thank you for posting, such a valuable share!
Mary Kay Business Owner
4 年This definitely resonates on so many levels. Words are powerful
?? Brand + Marketing Strategy
4 年This is a lovely read! In many ways, you're forging your path, here on LinkedIn by bringing art and poetry to a platform that is traditionally very "corporate" - AND IT'S WORKING! ???
Children's Book Illustrator
4 年Being an empathetic caring person full of emotions is not just for kindergarten teachers, artists, and actors. We can be leaders and in positions of power. Emotions don’t control us we are in control of our emotions. Today on LinkedIn I was belittled (along with other sensitive people) and told there’s no room for emotion in business, police work, judge, politics, government, etc. Those people should use logic only in their jobs and to make decisions. What do you all think? Do you agree?