We’re Scared to Admit Failure

A harder, more personal hurdle to overcoming the escalation of commitment is self-justification, or the urge to protect our egos from failure.

We self-justify our actions for two reasons: 

The first reason is because we don’t like to admit defeat, to ourselves or anyone else.

Have you ever gotten into an argument with a friend, and about halfway into the discussion realized they were right? What did you do—admit you were wrong and apologise, or continue arguing for your cause? 

If you chose the latter option, that’s the ego part of escalation of commitment coming into play—you’d rather continue to stand by your decision, knowing fully well it’s incorrect, than admit you were wrong from the beginning.

The second reason we self-justify is because we favour consistency in ourselves and others. Society rewards people who stick it out and are persistent. So, we worry that changing course now will make us look lazy and quick to give up. 

If all this is hitting close to home, don’t fret! Your ego doesn’t have to be right—in fact, if we didn’t experience failure and inconsistency in our lives, we’d never grow and learn from our mistakes.

Acknowledge how much you’ve changed since you chose this path: By separating the person you were from the person you are today, you’re creating psychological distance and giving yourself permission to change your mind. You’ve changed. Your career can, too. 

Remember that you’re more than just your job: Create a list of everything you’ll still have if you change careers—your family, your friends, your hobbies, your passions. By reinforcing your identity outside of work, you’ll see that while switching paths will require change, it won’t upend your entire life. 

Remember that success isn’t always linear: Though the idea of a linear path sounds comforting, it doesn’t make much sense if it’s a straight path to misery. If your definition of success isn’t possible on this path, the only way to be successful is to turn around.