We're Learning to Determine What's Essential in Life

Welcome to my Weekly Thoughts Newsletter, where you'll find my take on the week's news stories, my favorite pieces on how we can thrive even in our stressful world, and some fun and inspiring extras.

Today's read is ~5 minutes.

The Coronavirus Is Forcing Us to Ask: What Is Truly Essential to Our Life?

Gandalf (L) and Frodo (R) in "The Lord of the Rings"

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” says Frodo in The Lord of the Rings. “So do I,” says Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

Many of us today feel very much like Frodo. Why now? Why me? But even though no one would have wished for the disruption, uncertainty and, for many, very real suffering of these times, we can still decide “what to do with the time that is given us.”

There is a lot we can do to alleviate the suffering of others. But there is also a lot we can do to shift our entire culture away from an always-on, perpetually stressed-out, fight-or-flight state of being and reconnect with some essential truths we have forgotten. Just a few weeks ago, as we went about our busy lives — talking about how “slammed” and “swamped” we were with work, always on the edge of burnout — there were plenty of signposts along our path directing us to keep climbing up the ladder. But there were almost no signposts reminding us to stay connected to the essence of who we are, to take care of ourselves along the way, to reach out to others, and to connect to that place that unites us in our humanity and from which everything is possible. 

This is the great challenge in front of us. In the midst of untold suffering, we are being reminded of something our modern culture has forgotten: that there are two threads running through our lives. One is pulling us into the world to achieve and make things happen, the other is pulling us back from the world to nourish, replenish and refuel ourselves. If we ignore the second thread, it is much harder, especially during these times, to connect with ourselves and with those around us. As many a philosopher, from every tradition, has said, to truly know the world, you have to first know yourself. To quote just one of them, Lao Tzu, “Knowing others is knowledge, knowing yourself is wisdom.”

Two big things need to change if we are going to move through this crisis into a world better than the one that came before. The first is captured by Andrew Fiala, a professor of philosophy at Fresno State: “Now is the time to imagine a post-corona future that is kinder, gentler and more supportive of the weak, the sick and the vulnerable. Let’s not resurrect bad habits. Instead, let’s seek transformation and renewal.” Indeed, the people most vulnerable are those who are the least paid, even as their work is deemed most “essential” — from the nurses, caregivers, social workers and other first responders to the grocery and delivery workers on the front lines of the crisis. When all else is stripped away, we are learning what is truly essential, and what isn’t. Maybe we can imagine a world where we don’t just have endless conferences bemoaning the growing inequalities and discussing the need for “inclusive capitalism,” but instead move on to actually doing something about it? 

The second thing that needs to change if the new normal is to be better than the old one is that we stop living in the shallows — that we stop hurting our health and our relationships by striving so relentlessly and breathlessly after success as the world defines it. We have been missing what every philosophical and spiritual tradition tells us — that there is a place of wisdom, peace and strength in each one of us. We need to reacquaint ourselves with it! 

The Delphic admonition “Know Thyself” and Socrates’ admonition that “the unexamined life is not worth living” are not ancient philosophical platitudes, but in fact the most relevant and important guiding truths for our lives, especially now. In the constant rush of our pre-corona lives, with the ever-increasing creep of technology — into our bedrooms, our brains and our lives — it was remarkably easy to forget that most important relationship.

We have all now been forced to pause. And during this pause, we are discovering that certain parts of life were not as essential as we thought — and just as important, rediscovering certain essential parts we had forgotten. It’s a kind of Marie Kondo exercise for our whole life, stripping away what is not needed and moving to our more essential nature. As Pope Francis said in the blessing he delivered while praying for an end to the coronavirus, “It is a time to choose what matters and what passes away, a time to separate what is necessary from what is not.” 

Yes, of course, as Gandalf said, no one would have wished to live through this time, and all the grief and suffering we wake up to in our own lives or in the headlines each day. But it is always during the hard times — whether personal or collective — that we are shaken out of our routines to find true purpose and meaning. 

As M.I.T. professor Alan Lightman writes in The Atlantic, history shows that periods of adversity yield new habits of mind. “The frightening COVID-19 pandemic may be creating such a change now — by forcing many of us to slow down, to spend more time in personal reflection, away from the noise and heave of the world. With more quiet time, more privacy, more stillness, we have an opportunity to think about who we are, as individuals and as a society.”

The coronavirus crisis has awakened something spiritual in us. According to the Pew Research Center, a majority of Americans have prayed for the end of the pandemic — including 15% of those who say they seldom or never pray. Whether or not we belong to any religious or spiritual tradition, there is a renewed awareness of the need to take care not just of our physical health but our mental, emotional and spiritual health — to take care of our souls. At a time when the apocalypse is very much part of the conversation, Jacqueline Hidalgo, chair of religion at Williams College, tells The New York Times, “It’s not just about the end of the world. It helps us see something that was hidden before.” Indeed, apocalypse derives from the Greek apokalypsis, meaning unveiling or revelation. 

We may find inspiration for this new normal in poetry, philosophy, religion, art or nature. It will be different for each of us. 

As philosophy professor Byron Williston put it: “There’s this kind of stillness or suspension of everyday activity that has fallen upon us now. And I think that’s an opportunity for people to raise these questions about their life projects and what really matters to them.”

“What is a good life?” has been a question asked by philosophers going back to the ancient Greeks. But somewhere along the line we abandoned the question and shifted our attention to how much money and status we can accumulate. Now in this forced pause these big questions about life are creeping back into our consciousness. And the collective longing is growing to stop living in the shallows and recognize that life is actually shaped from the inside out — a truth that has been celebrated by spiritual teachers, poets and philosophers throughout the ages and that we are all now being called to rediscover.

Read More on Thrive: The Coronavirus Is Forcing Us to Ask: What Is Truly Essential to Our Life?

An Update on #FirstRespondersFirst

We are deeply grateful for the outpouring of generous contributions to the First Responders First campaign Thrive Global launched last week in partnership with the Harvard School of Public Health and CAA to provide essential protective equipment and resources — like childcare, accommodations and food — for the healthcare workers on the front lines of the coronavirus crisis. On top of hundreds of thousands raised from individual contributions, including $5 donations, Dutch Bros Coffee donated $2 million, Modelo donated $500,000, and a generous contribution from N.B.A. Player Joel Embiid will support an array of healthcare centers and clinics across Pennsylvania. And Bright Horizons, at cost covered by #FirstRespondersFirst, opened childcare hubs in Seattle, Detroit and Washington, D.C. to provide free high-quality care for the children of first responders. So far we've raised over $3 million in two weeks, an incredible testament both to people's generosity and to the gratitude and love for those putting their lives and health on the line for us.

For the Class of 2020

@ariannahuff / Instagram

If it were any other year, we’d be gearing up for graduation season. But now that we will be missing the actual gatherings to celebrate this milestone, I’ve rounded up some points relevant to our times from commencement speeches I’ve delivered in the past few years. Today’s graduates may face an uncertain future, but their leadership is more needed than ever. You can watch here. Please share it with an upcoming graduate!

Onward, Upward and Inward

For those in leadership positions, the coronavirus crisis is an unprecedented challenge. At Thrive Global, our team has been in many conversations with company leaders from a range of industries. What we’ve heard has only amplified the results of our survey of 5,000 Americans: people are craving strong leadership and clear communication. Nearly 90% of employees feel that employers need to be doing more than just implementing travel bans and/or work-from-home policies to properly address coronavirus-related challenges. But navigating the new normal isn’t just about looking out; it’s about looking in. Join me this Thursday for a webinar that equips you with tools and strategies to show up ready to lead from what is best, wisest, most creative and empathetic in you. Whether you’re leading a large company, a small team or something in between, there’s something for everyone.

Don’t Forget to Social Distance From Your Screens

Of all the changes brought about by the pandemic, our relationship with technology is a big one. But Nellie Bowles's declaration in The New York Times that “Coronavirus Ended the Screen-Time Debate. Screens Won.” is premature — or rather just plain wrong. Yes, our screens have revealed themselves to be invaluable conduits of the human connections we need and crave. And sure, many of us, facing day after day indoors, are loosening our rules about screen time; plenty of parents, understandably, have thrown in the towel. As Nellie Bowles writes, “Now I have thrown off the shackles of screen-time guilt. My television is on. My computer is open. My phone is unlocked, glittering. I want to be covered in screens. If I had a virtual reality headset nearby, I would strap it on.” She’s right that we shouldn’t judge ourselves for finding comfort and connection in our screens. But the concluding quote in her piece shows why the declaration of victory for screens is so premature. As Epic's creative director Jon Steinberg puts it: “Weirdly, Gen Z could come out of this with a permanent, lifelong, forged-in-disaster appreciation for physical connections over digital ones.”

And in the meantime while we are quarantining, time away from our screens is more crucial than ever for recharging our bodies, minds and souls — especially when it comes to strengthening our immunity, managing anxiety, connecting with ourselves and building our mental resilience. Here are three of our Thrive Microsteps for practicing that:

Before you get into bed, escort your devices out of your bedroom. Our phones are repositories of our anxieties and fears, especially in times of crisis and constant news updates. Disconnecting will help you sleep better, recharge, and reconnect to your most resilient self. 

Set a news cut-off time at the end of the day. While being informed can help us feel more prepared amid a public health crisis, setting healthy limits to our media consumption, especially before we get ready for bed, can help us have a restorative night’s sleep, which in turn will help us and put the stressful news into perspective.

When you wake up, don’t start your day by looking at your phone. Take at least one minute to focus on your intentions for the day, what you’re grateful for or simply taking some conscious breaths instead of checking the latest coronavirus headlines before you are even fully conscious.

 Leading Through Change

At Thrive, we’re bringing our offerings to partners around the world to help their employees strengthen their physical immunity and mental resilience. One of these partners, Salesforce, is already a leader in helping people manage the built-in stress of these times: last month, CEO Marc Benioff started a regular mental health call for his 50,000 employees. And last week I joined Salesforce employees from around the world for a live webinar on managing our anxiety and building new healthy habits in our new normal. Salesforce has made the video available to a wider audience as part of their new Leading Through Change initiative. You can watch here.

Before You Go

Podcast of the Week

In this week’s special episode of “Meditative Story,” host Rohan Gunatillake offers a moving meditation that meets the moment. He explores gratitude, creativity and even magic, and invites us to stop, breathe and listen. Subscribe to “Meditative Story” and listen to the episode here.

Sketchbook of the Week

Artist Molly Crabapple put out a call on Twitter saying she wanted to draw people who could not stay home. Workers from around the country sent her selfies. Here are a couple of the portraits from her coronavirus sketchbook featuring the “underpaid, ignored and essential.”

Seanan El Daher, delivery nurse, RI (L); Justice, janitor, NY (R)

@mollycrabapple / Twitter

Book of the Week

Running Toward Mystery: The Adventure of an Unconventional Life by Tenzin Priyadarshi. Today, the Venerable Tenzin Priyadarshi is the leader of The Dalai Lama Center for Ethics and Transformative Values at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. And the story of how he got there is awe-inspiring and enthralling from beginning to end. From childhood, he has been a seeker, striving for enlightenment and connection — a journey that led him to learn from many teachers including Mother Teresa and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. Running Toward Mystery seamlessly traverses multiple worlds and encourages us all to connect with our deeper self and the mystery that surrounds us.

Thread of the Week

This Getty Museum Twitter challenge to recreate artwork using household items. The responses have been amazing:

@GettyMuseum / Twitter

Stay healthy, stay safe,