We’re Just Good Friends … Are YOU in an Emotional Affair?

Are you really cheating if you’re  not even having sex ?

?You want to know what it feel like to be loved by the man of your dreams.

Relationships have many components, and yes, sex is one of them, but there are others. Friendship, childrearing, joint interests such as traveling, music, cooking . . . for every couple, they are different and each piece of the puzzle has its importance, but together, they make up a whole.

One major piece is emotional intimacy. And for most, not just women as is often assumed, emotional intimacy is critical to making the puzzle whole, and especially to fostering a healthy and mutually fulfilling sexual relationship.

For most of us, the emotional connection comes first. We become friends before we are sexually intimate. We share common interests. If we are in a committed relationship, especially a marriage or long-term partnership.

How would you feel if you knew your spouse did this? If you get a sick knot in your stomach, there’s your answer. That’s the big deal. It’s not about sex, and you need to take a look at your relationship.

 What’s missing?

 And what can you do to fix it?

 If that’s what you want. But don’t go elsewhere. It’s a betrayal.

How can you tell if you are in an emotional affair?

 Ask yourself these questions:

 What am I doing or talking about with this person?

 Are there  things I don’t do or talk about with my spouse?

 Am I hiding?

 Am I rearranging my day and to spend time with this person?

 If any of these are issues, you are getting yourself into an emotional  affair. The question is, why?

You are in a committed relationship with someone else. What’s missing there?

As a society, we believe that cheating is sex with someone other than our partner. We also place a disproportionately higher value on the sexual component of relationships than on the emotional. And, that’s why it is so easy to deny emotional affairs. Because there’s no sex.

 I believe we miss the value of an emotionally intimate, deeply satisfying, personal relationship based on trust and years of growing together, knowing each other’s intimate dreams, hurts, and desires.

An emotional affair doesn’t have to mean the end of your marriage, but it is a red flag. I would imagine there is discord at home if you are looking elsewhere to meet your emotional needs. Do the repair with your partner whether it be therapy, a workshop, reading a self-help book, or even just talking about your feelings. And, do it before things get too far, and cut ties with this other person.

The involved partner must be honest about all aspects of the affair. Moving on too fast usually backfires, leaving the injured party reeling and the problem unresolved. Many people believe that too much discussion just reopens the wound; but, in fact, the wound needs to be exposed to the light of day so that it can heal. The involved partner must answer questions and soothe the injured partner for as long as that person needs.

Thank you reading my Post.