We’re a Family Here: Breaking Toxic Cycles

When discussing red flags in business with other leadership and business professionals, one phrase inevitably comes up: “We’re a family here.” On the surface, it sounds warm and inviting. But in reality, it can be a warning sign. Business leaders should carefully consider what they mean when they promote this idea as part of their organizational culture—especially since the concept of “family” is complicated for many people.

Through my Corporate Persona Archetype test, I’ve gathered data on this topic. One of the quiz questions asks: Do you think of your company as a family or just a group of people you work with? Over the past year, over 2,500 people have taken the quiz. More than 50% of respondents said they see their coworkers as just that—coworkers. The remaining respondents felt a sense of family at work to varying degrees, and 5.4% described their company as a dysfunctional close-knit family.

When a company embraces the idea of being a “family,” at its healthiest, it’s an attempt to express values like trust, loyalty, and support. In strong family systems, these values are foundational. However, not everyone has experienced a healthy family dynamic. Toxic organizations can exploit this emotional connection, taking advantage of employees’ desire for belonging. In these cases, the “family” rhetoric masks harmful behaviors such as a lack of boundaries, emotional manipulation, and even abuse.

If organizations truly want to foster a culture of belonging, they don’t need to claim familial bonds to do so. Instead, they should authentically uphold values that make family systems strong—loyalty, honesty, and respect. When leaders commit to these values and hold themselves accountable, trust and loyalty naturally follow.

I don’t need blurred lines between my personal commitments and my professional ones. Don’t tell me “We’re a family here.” Instead, tell me, “We’re an AWESOME company to work for”—and then prove it.