We're All Just Humans

How much does the way you treat people vary?

Are you shy and reclusive around some, yet loud and intense with others? Why is that? How do your energy levels fluctuate between a job interview and when you’re getting ready to go out with friends?

How similarly do you treat CEOs and homeless people?

As you continue to get comfortable with you, the need to act a certain way solely to protect your image will diminish. Do you treat new learners the same way you treat highly-skilled pros? Why? Why not?

Being the authentic version of yourself — whatever that might be — will have a positive impact on your encounters and relationships. Faking your attitude, whether increasing or decreasing energy levels or sincerity for the sake of guessing what others are looking for, is easily read by others, and can have the opposite of the intended effect (read: they like you less).

Acting with the sole intention of impressing is inherently inauthentic and assumes we are either not good enough or are too good for others. We’re all just humans y’all. Smile and chat with those who are struggling. Smile and chat with those who own yachts. You know what people appreciate more than those who either bow down or talk down to them? People who are comfortable with themselves and happy to converse. If you act as though you’re inferior to people, you’ll be treated that way. If you act as though you’re better than people, you’re a dick.

There is certainly a need to control tone, emotions, and energy levels in many scenarios, but see if you can close that gap between your shyest self and your loudest self to find the ‘you’ that’s the most true. There are certainly times to be goofy and times to hold back, but smile and realize that the person you’re dealing with is also a human with their own needs, thoughts, and struggles. Everyone is dealing with their own infinitely complex life, and engaging sincerely is more valuable that forcing a fake version of yourself on someone. If you build a relationship with a version of you that you think the other person wants to see, it will be tough to transition to your true self down the road, exposing who you actually are.

Whether 7 or 70, powerful or needing help, or from whatever country in the world, talk to people as potential friends. Relate, engage, and worry more about being true than acting as the person you’re only guessing others want to see. The more you’re worried about being judged, the more likely you are to act in an inauthentic manner, which, well, causes judgement. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Acting confidently as yourself leaves others thinking “I don’t know what it is about them, but I like that person”.

It’s not an easy shift to make, and it’s rooted largely in confidence in one’s self. If you can speak honestly and confidently, your true nature will be evident. Others will know who they’re dealing with and not second guess whether what you said and how you acted was authentic or strictly in an attempt to impress. Try to narrow the gap and be closer to the purest version of you more frequently in interactions, particularly new ones. We’re all just humans.

-Chris

Chris Ackroyd

Hey, I’m Chris. I created Life In Questions in hopes of helping people to think a little bit differently. I’m all about people, learning, sports, and the game of life. I believe that our minds shape how we live, act, and behave, and that by being more aware of ourselves, we can live happier and more successful lives.