Weltschmerz, practice and the art of listening

Friday practice #5 – Week 6/2024

This is #5 of my practice of sharing and (un)learning, publicly.

Disclaimer: This article is like a conversation with myself, following one thought to the next, understanding while it’s unfolding, meandering, wondering if it might make sense – or not, if it's for LinkedIn – or not, it doesn’t matter …

This week’s writing practice?turns out to be challenging. stagnant. clumsy. scattered. I catch myself, overthinking, doubting, getting attached to the outcome, the result, my ego. How thinking about writing, gets in the way of writing. How caring about the audience, “the impact”, or how I’ll be perceived, gets me stuck. How by editing myself in the seed and experimentation phase I constrain myself.

I get lost between big themes and my small mind.

When I write my morning pages, in my journal, just for myself, it flows. unedited, uncensored. But to share publicly, I get into my head. To share on LinkedIn I get drawn into the platform: Yes, there’s lots of inspiration, good insights, connections, and wonderful sparks (there it goes down another rabbit hole, my curious and wandering mind … come back). But it also feels like the uncanny valley promoting comparison, imposter syndrome, and so much blah blah blah. I get angry, frustrated overwhelmed, into negative self-talk and doom-thinking: With all the crises and sh** going on in the world – climate change, biodiversity loss, war, inhumanity, violence, polarization, injustice, inequality, overall increasing destruction of people and planet and life: I get annoyed with myself for whining about writing, for standing in my way instead of being on the frontline acting, with urgency and at scale, while life and hope on earth is shaken up, upside down.

The inner voice chatters and the inner critic goes on:

Is this of interest?

Is this too self-focused?

Is this important enough?

Is this privileged BS?

Is this adding any value?

Is this just more blah blah blah?

Is this just more of the same?

Is the self-imposed timing, scheduled for a Friday, helpful?

Is this bigger than me?

Is this actually about me?

Is this […]?

Well, my scattered mind is good at coming up with questions that keep me from writing. I stand in my way. I get annoyed. I procrastinate. I get frustrated. I get more annoyed, at myself …

And then I smile and laugh. About myself. And the irony of all of this. How I observe myself … taking it too seriously, while I know that I’m most authentic and creative when I play when I flow when I enjoy the process and don’t worry about the outcome, or its perception. Perfectionism is the enemy of authenticity and creativity, and actually, the change and regenerative action I want to see in the world – I smile at this inner demon seeking outer validation and acceptance and try to be kind to this part of myself. To embrace this shadow, to say: It’s ok, I see you, I hear you … It’s still chattering, but more silent, moving to the background, becoming more like the sound of the heavy wind and the rain dripping on the roof, becoming more like the rush of the ocean waves, the white water.

I breathe in. breathe out.

(Thank you Enrica Masi for your art, the surprise turns out to be just on theme!)

I get more at ease, and more gentle towards myself.

Well, this is the practice. Doing it, especially when it’s hard.

I signed up for that, for leaning into discomfort. For understanding myself. For creating. For being in right relationship with life.

I signed up to highlight the seeds of active hope and signals of regenerative transformation, for be(com)ing a regenerative presence and embodying the future. A friend encouraged me in a message “As they say, stay with the trouble my friend. We were never promised comfortability.”

And it reminds me, that when I feel overwhelmed by, helpless or anxious about the state of the world, and fall into “Weltschmerz”* it helps to verbalize and express how I feel, to create and move, to shift my mindset, connect and gather and get active, into doing and inspiring. As Founder of Force of Nature , climate activist and Global Speaker Clover Hogan shares and embodies: The path to climate action starts with tuning into our discomfort, shifting our mindset, speaking up, and gathering in community to be and act. In her TED Talk, she explains why challenging the stories that keep us feeling powerless can help us to take the first steps to protect the planet for generations to come.

Clover Hogan: What to do when climate change feels unstoppable

If you’ve read until here, make sure to follow Clover’s work and Force for Nature.

*[Weltschmerz, literally world-pain, coined by German Romantics – denotes a deep sadness about the insufficiency of the world and life arising from the acute awareness of?evil and suffering]

Another inspiration comes up, while I’m writing –?a podcast conversation that resonated deeply and that I’ve been sharing with friends, and friends of friends: A conversation between Krista Tippet and Christiana Figueres , former Executive Secretary of the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change, Costa Rican diplomat, author, podcast host, and Climate Change powerhouse, ...

“If you have wondered how to keep hope alive amidst a thousand reasons to despair if you are ready to take your despair as fuel — intrigued by the idea of stepping into love and immediate realities of abundance and regeneration — this conversation is for you.”

Give it a listen, I’m fascinated by both women and their leadership, and how they connect the various worlds I’m exploring: Drawing connections between climate action and Dharma teachings or meditation practice, regeneration, grief, love, joy, beauty, self-inquiry and learning how to turn pain into strength and fear into fuel.

And so the more young and not-so-young people realize that yes, we are at a very deeply painful moment in the history of this planet and of human evolution, and that we can either succumb to that, or we can use that, as you say, as fuel. We can use that to intentionally decide that we’re going to stand up. Using the depth of the pain to root us so that we’re not swayed by the wind. Use it to root us in our determination to do everything for a better world, not just for us, but for generations to come – Christiana Figueres

It’s comforting listening –?and I observe myself preferring again the comfort, and dissociation from the devastation that has been and is going on. Hope? Well, Hope. It’s the fuel for humanity. What comes up is a scene from the documentary “Gaza Surf Club”, that I saw this week as part of a fundraising community gathering in Ericeira, a surf town in Portugal: An evening about waves, humans and humanity, and shifting the perspectives, narratives, and stories – especially the human stories that are not shown in times of polarization and war. The 40+-year-old fisherman and autodidactic surf enthusiast said: Here in Gaza, we don’t have hope. There’s no hope. The movie is from 2016. I recommend watching it.

And down another train of thoughts and emotions, and Weltschmerz.

Despair. Hope.

Ok, breathe in. breath out.

One thought leads to the next, unfolding while I write.

There's no good transition here ... So, just jumping to the next train of thought.

To see things as they are, to observe things as they are, and to let everything go as it goes. – Suzuki

Instead of focusing on the outcome, it’s about the practice itself.

Instead of getting attached to it, it’s about letting it go.

Not controlling, just observing.

Playing.

Writing.

Moving.

Dancing.

Creating.

Deleting.

Grounding.

Meditating.

Listening.

Being.

Loving.

Losing.

Living.

It’s the process.

It’s the practice.

It’s the intention.

It’s a creative act.

It’s life, itself.

And as I write, and breathe, I get more at ease.

So it goes, this week's emerging theme is about Weltschmerz, practice … and the art of listening.

For my Budokon Teacher Certificate, I’ve been writing this week an essay about my learnings and application of Shunryu Suzuki’s Masterpiece “Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind”: A profound exploration of Zen Meditation and the Practice of Non-duality … a challenging read, words of timeless wisdom I anticipate revisiting time and again. A read, that invites to sit with the paradoxes and the essence of Buddhism and Life. To observe, to witness, to practice.

“When you understand one thing through and through, you understand everything. When you try to understand everything, you will not understand anything. The best way is to understand yourself, then you will understand everything.”

Central to Suzuki's teachings is the notion that true understanding eludes those who believe they have grasped it. This concept of maintaining a 'beginner's mind' — free from preconceptions, open to possibility — is crucial in both Zen practice and daily life: In life as well as in meditation, it’s better to observe than control.

I am sitting. practicing. listening. observing. Todos os dias.

To practice, calm my mind, expand my awareness, not to achieve.

I recognize the growing fluidity in my understanding (in thinking, in moving, in being) as well as the need to continuously let go of preconceived notions, acknowledging that change, growth, and evolution are inherent to the journey, the practice and life: There is no end to the practice.

“If your mind is not related to anything else, then there is not dualistic understanding in the activity of your mind. You understand activity as just waves of your mind.” – Suzuki

This week, one evening together with a friend we went to a nearby Buddhist monastery, to join the monks for their evening meditation. Sitting, practicing, and listening together, that made it easier.

“Living life as an artist is a practice. You are either engaging in the practice or you’re not. It makes no sense to say you’re not good at it. It’s like saying, “I’m not good at being a monk.” You are either living as a monk or you’re not. We tend to think of the artist’s work as the output. The real work of the artist is a way of being in the world.” – Rick Rubin

Another piece of writing, inspiration, and wisdom that is accompanying me and came up in a few conversations and interactions this week is Rick Rubin’s “The Creative Act: A Way of Being” – I keep on recommending it and sharing it (so happy it resonated with you, Jonas B?rtsch and that you keep on sharing it). A masterpiece, a quintessence of his life’s work and observation, that I anticipate to also revisit time and again, as it holds so much wisdom: Without being pretentious or brainy, but clear, real, honest, human. It makes the magical moment of transcendence and the creative act accessible and approachable.

Listening, then, is not just awareness. It’s freedom from accepted limitations. – Rick Rubin

Check out this excerpt from the Book about Listening with the whole body, our whole self. Rick Rubin on Listening | Broadcast

If you read, listen, and follow Rubin?you will discover that he practices Buddhism, some call him The Rock-N-Roll Buddha who is practicing meditation for a lifetime. Listening. Rick’s way of sharing on Instagram is inspiring too, hacking the algorithm, and the platform, and embracing the nature of impermanence and everlasting change: Sharing one post every day and deleting it. Non-attachment in practice. And again, while I’m writing, I recognize this week's emerging theme in retrospect, the connections between, writing and life unfold. Sense-making while (not) making sense. Paying attention to what's been emerging, anyway.

Meditation is the practice of listening.

Creativity arises from listening.

So does conversation.

And: Re-Connection.

Many famed music producers are known for a particular sound that has its day and then ages out. Rick Rubin is known for something else: creating a space where artists of all different genres and traditions can home in on who they really are and what they really offer. He has made a practice of helping people transcend their self-imposed expectations in order to reconnect with a state of innocence from which the surprising becomes inevitable. Over the years, as he has thought deeply about where creativity comes from and where it doesn’t, he has learned that being an artist isn’t about your specific output; it’s about your relationship to the world. Creativity has a place in everyone’s life, and everyone can make that place larger. In fact, there are few more important responsibilities.

This summary highlights why the book and Rubin’s work resonate so much with me and is so emerging to be valuable, this week: By not aiming at achievement or result, but caring about the creative act as a way of being, he creates and holds safe spaces for creativity to emerge, helping people get out of their way, to play and hone in on who they really are. “Creativity is a fundamental aspect of being human” and creativity has a space in everyone’s life, and everyone has the opportunity to make that space stronger – not to make it about our ego or the results, but actually to become the channel for the creative energy that needs to come into the world. Through practice, the creative act, a way of being.

A screenshot I took this week while doom-scrolling (or, what about gloom-scrolling?): It makes me wonder if writing is my channel, my way of creative expression, my creative act? When do I shut my eyes, close my ears, don’t use my brain, use my heart, and my soul?

Most authentically and intuitively,

When I move, when I dance.

When I’m immersed in the elements, being nature.

When I’m present with people and can make them feel heard:

When I can listen, really listen, without judgment, achievement, preconceived notions, or the need to "extract" a quote, a learning, an insight, or a result.

That’s when I listen with my whole body, my whole self.

That’s when I am, without effort.

That’s when I feel connected.

That’s when I’m in flow.

I just remembered a conversation with Mert Cetinkaya a year ago, where I rambled about doubting myself and not knowing what my craft is, and he stopped and looked at me, saying: “Anna, you’re a listening artist!” I was confused and thought, no, I want a medium like a canvas or a paper, like a real artist, a creative … it’s dawning on me how I’m limiting myself, how it might be more inspiring for me to explore the invisible, the relational, the in-between, the movement, the unfolding, the sensations, creating and holding space as a medium and craft. Listening artist, I like it, it resonates, I smile …

Who out there considers themselves a listening artist?

Is anyone looking for listening artists?

Aren’t we all listening artists?

Ok, so following the thread to the next thought – the Art of Listening.

Patricia Munro MA commented on last week's post about conversations that “Memorable conversations in my experience are stimulated by powerful questions and shaped by the deep listening of others. This quiet process enables shared meaning among the conversationalists to emerge.”

Indeed. As psychologist Carl Rogers learned, listening well – which necessarily involves conversing well and questioning well – is one of the most accessible and powerful forms of connection we have, and essential to creating the conditions for growth. And as much an "act of kindness to others as a gift to ourselves". Check out this article and the connection between listening, meditation, and practice: The psychologist Carl Rogers and the art of active listening | Aeon Essays

Our emotions are often our own worst enemies when we try to become listener ... To listen to oneself is a prerequisite to listening to others. – Carl Rogers

I love to listen. I enjoy it a lot. I feel I’m also good at it –?and people mention that they feel heard, seen, and safe to open up and reveal themselves. Well, as a Design Researcher, I got paid for listening. I pay my therapist to listen to me. I realize I want to get better and cultivate the Art of Listening. Active Listening. Deep Listening. Listening with my whole self.

I want to become a really good listener, to myself, so I can be it for others.

I want to learn how to listen beyond, how to listen to the in-between, the inaudible.

How to be attuned, to the more-than-human world.

How to be a good listener, in service of life.

How?

If we’re not paying attention through our own senses, we have disengaged from the primary mode in which every creature since the origin of life has connected to its environment. And if we’re not listening, we’ve got no stories to tell the future. –?David G. Haskell

Check out this conversation in Emergence Magazine with Emmanuel Vaughan-Lee with biologist and author David G. Haskell about cross-species listening as a bridge to kinship, and a non-human-centered way of being and listening: Listening and the Crisis of Inattention – with David G. Haskell

It turned out that almost nobody in that room had any lived experience of the tens of thousands of acres of forest that were under discussion—not on the conservationist side and not on the corporate side either. So the voice of the forest itself was almost entirely absent from that particular meeting. What if these discussions about how we manage the land included going out and putting our hands in the soil and smelling the soil and listening and talking to people who have lived sensory experiences of the ecosystems that are managed? –?David G. Haskell

Voilá. Breath in. Breath out.

Now is the time to stop writing, and listening.

Have a wonderful weekend.

And good listening.

P.S. And to hear what the ancient Earth might have sounded like, listen to David’s companion sonic journey “When the Earth Started to Sing.”

This is the part of a newly started weekly practice for personal, and collective, unfolding and (un)learning: Works/words/worlds in progress