Wellness Series: A New Approach To New Beginnings Pt. 2

Key Points

• The suddenness of all that change registers as a shock to our body’s system, our bodies are designed to find balance, which contributes to why many of our new year’s resolutions fail.
• SMART-O-GOALS can help set clear, concise, and intentional small goals that aid in behaviour changes long-term.
• Setting goals around how we want to feel and what we truly desire to experience in our lives imbues our goals with soul, power, and a purpose that will carry us through challenges and keep us motivated.?
• Slip ups are a natural part of the journey to lasting change, invite in some self-compassion and lovingly challenge ourselves to make one next right decision.?

Last week I discussed the idea of finally resolving to do something differently or changing once and for all is certainly an alluring prospect and at this time of year, we may feel the pull to change more acutely. One of the weird and wonderful parts about the phenomenon of human change is that while we can be quite resistant to change, at the same time,?we are extraordinarily adaptable and resilient!?As humans, we often find ourselves in a tug-of-war between where we want to be and where we are, or who we inspire to be, and who we are right now.?

Rather than fighting with the way we are designed, we can learn how to align ourselves with?the way true change occurs – through joy & abundance!?

So, let’s put this newfound insight into action and experience for ourselves what real and sustainable change is made of! The invitation here is to work with our biology and brain - not against it - for true and lasting behaviour change. I invite you to become a critical thinker. Be that attentive observer and begin to notice where the messages about how to change are coming from. What is being presented or promised? Is it promoting a scarcity approach, or does it align with abundance consciousness? Become a truth sleuth and only seek out those who can critically and accurately help you to decern what works and what is just hype. For all things related to health, I have found the work of physiologist and author, Dr. Greg Wells as well as nutritionist and author Abby Langer the most accurate and practical. These two scholars are truth seekers who break down the major misconceptions in health and offer effective strategies that achieve real results. If you, like most of us, have your sights set on a happier, healthier you this new year, I encourage you to check them out!?

This is part three of my wellness series on everyday resiliency, wellness, and self-care in seasons of uncertainty adapted from my white papers. See?robynehd.ca?to read more topics on improving your work and life wellness.

SMART-O-GOALS?

The old way of doing behaviour change was to go all in – go big or go home! But research has shown that the suddenness of all that change registers as a shock to our body’s system. Remember – our bodies are designed to find balance and homeostasis; too much too soon elicits an opposite reaction or resistance to change. This is one of the reasons why many new year’s resolutions fail.?

Instead, research supports the idea that we need to be?clear, concise, intentional, and small?with our behaviour changes. And thankfully, there is a tidy formula for this called the SMART-O method (I added the O). The smart way to set goals is to make them:?

I have added the ‘O’ to this formula because it is extremely useful to anticipate where we might get stuck or experience a challenge. Forward-thinking and planning will keep us on the path despite the inevitable setbacks that we will encounter along the way.?

NEXT STEPS: BECOME THE CHANGE?

After working on your SMART-O goal, the next step is to establish a connection between the new behaviour and your identity, to go beyond just outcomes. James Clear, the author of amazon’s best-selling book,?Atomic Habits, explains that when a new behaviour becomes part of how we see ourselves, lasting change becomes possible. Using the above example, my?SMART-O goal identity affirmation?becomes, “I am a good sleeper.” Here is James Clear’s Identity Model of Behaviour Change?

DIVE DEEPER: GOALS WITH SOUL

The inspiring and influential Danielle LaPointe, who wrote an excellent book on behaviour change,?The Desire Map, introduced me to the idea that?our goals need to elicit a feeling not just an outcome. A truly powerful way to set and achieve our goals is for us to get in touch with how we desire to feel not just what we want to accomplish. Feelings and emotions are stronger and more impactful – they hold more influence over our choices than thoughts. Setting goals around how we want to feel and what we truly desire to experience in our lives imbues our goals with soul, with a power and a purpose that will carry us through the challenges and keep us motivated. Remember: we cannot hate ourselves healthy! How will being healthy feel? Vibrant, full of energy, excited for the day, flexible, enthusiastic about eating fresh whole foods? When we make these feeling states part of our goal setting process, we feel our way into optimal wellness with less effort and more joy.?

INTERNAL ATTUNEMENT VS. EXTERNAL ATTAINMENT?

It is crucial that we reconnect with our sense of self and set goals that promote wellness and wholeheartedness. Take a moment to notice: Is your social media full of wellness experts promoting cleanses? Health professionals promoting intermittent fasting? Wealth experts living beyond their means? Lifestyle bloggers who use shame as a motivator? Or influencers who preach outside of their lanes? The world is full of examples that bombard us with external messaging about how we ‘should’ be living our lives.?Don’t let anyone ‘should’ on you. Instead, let’s give ourselves the gift of becoming more mindful of what messages we allow ourselves to be exposed to. Boundary setting is crucial! We must protect our peace and pick our goals because they align with how we want to be in the world, and what we want to feel while experiencing our ‘one wild and precious life.’?

“Decide on what kind of life you want, and then say NO to everything that isn’t that.”?

Anne Shirley, a character from one of my favourite books whom I consider a kindred soul, has famously said, “tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistake in it yet.” I love the promise of fresh starts that each new day brings. And when we make mistakes - and we will because we are human – we can remember that?mistakes are just events, not characteristics!?We can also remember that slip ups are a natural part of the journey to lasting change. In these inevitable moments, let’s invite in some self-compassion and lovingly challenge ourselves to make one next right decision!?

Take good care my friends,

Dr. Robyne

Interested in this topic? Please join me next week as I discuss the fourth part of this wellness series.