Wellness by Choice Founder's Son Dies Unaware of Liver Disease by mom Angelina Musik

It's been a multi-faceted ride the last few weeks. My son Christian Alois Parish passed a week ago. Tuesday Jan 5 at 8:25pm at 31 years old. I'm told grief is a peculiar process.

I walked into a store yesterday and passed by the men's clothing department only to have a massive wave of sadness hit me as I realized that I no longer have a son to buy clothing for.

After three weeks in the ICU/CCU in Houston I moved Chris to hospice to spend as much time with him as possible before he left on a sabbatical, my husband Daniel calls it.

Chris was sick without symptoms for quite some time. He discover too late he had with end of life stage cirrhosis of the liver. I ask now "what might I have without symptoms?"

It takes an average of 10 years for this type of disease to finally manifest into a full bloom consequence. Caught early hope is provided through a liver transplant or living donor.

COVID visitation limitations made it impossible for me to advocate for Chris. Give him hope and cheer him on to take medicines where me being his living donor might happen.

This millennial of mine was a beautiful, smart and a high empath spirit, and stubborn. 

Three years ago I asked him to join me in taking liver tests together JUST to see what the outcome might be. He struggled to master his fears. Afraid of discovering his unhealth.

Had COVID not happened he would have joined me on the eventual Wellness by Choice retreat property in OR which was postponed last fall. He had given up whiskey drinking just 18 months before and was ready to get healthier and happier together in the new journey!

That would change after he sent me pictures of his swelling legs in October. My pleas for him to go to the ER were met with his fear of catching COVID and dying in the hospital.

December 10th he entered the ER septic and anemic. His last three weeks was an unkind experience in the ICU/CCU. To keep him responsive they limited pain meds and moved him many times to be protected from incoming COVID-19 patients.

The Tuesday before New Year's 2020 Daniel and I got the call to come to Texas to see Chris in the ICU. After two weeks of progress things turned for the worst. 

The nurses and doctors misread his eye squinting to try and see them (as he needed his glasses) as a scowl and being uncooperative. They would realize this too late.

Daniel drove from Scottsdale to the hospital in League City or Webster Texas. The Texas blizzard cost us an additional 8 hours stuck in traffic with zero visibility an slow driving. 

We passed vehicles in ditches alongside the road and jackknifed 18 wheelers. Determined and white knuckled Daniel pressed through with just two 1 hour catnaps. We arrived New Year's Eve mid afternoon. 

COVID rules stated I had only one hour with Chris. The first 30 minutes I found his glasses and placed them on his face as he tried opening his eyes and listening to my familiar voice. 

To help wake up his brain I called his friends and put them on speaker phone as Daniel filmed our exchange from across the room. Then, I left to speak with the doctor to get a snapshot of what Chris was battling through.

Upon my return, for my last 30 minutes I took off my mask. THAT's when Chris' eyes lit up! He needed to see my whole face with his glasses on for it to register that mom is here! 

There were no words for the expression of relief on his face as tears tried to fall from his eyes. He was no longer alone. We were going to hold hands and finish this journey together.

I talked to him about options and decisions he needed to make. I asked him what he wanted to do. To nod, squeeze my hand - just communicate somehow! He nodded that he wanted to live and opened his mouth as if to speak yet nothing came out. He was trying - and that's what mattered!

The nurse pulled me aside and reminded me this would be my only visit with him. Upon hearing that my brain and heart went into strategy overdrive to change that!

I kissed Chris' hand and looking into his eyes I promised I'd be back. His dad Scott was coming the next day Friday so I told him to look forward to that.

Friday, I was busy making contacts with the media, organizations and doing that thing that I do, that WE do as parents and caretakers of those we love. 

I asked for the doctor to call me, and he did. My second visit was approved by the hospital administrator for Saturday at noon.

Saturday Daniel dropped me off at the ICU. Chris' face lit up once again as I placed his glasses on. Why didn't he have his glasses again on I kept wondering.

Chris and I engaged with each other between me going back and forth with talks with the nurse and doctors. Chris was ready to leave and I was ready to whisk him away! 

After 5 hours, it was time to decide. I had two options according the the nurse. Leave Chris in the ICU and he would die alone by Tues or Weds or transfer him into hospice care and have 24/7 access to him.

Saturday night I feed him in his hospice room, he was so happy I was there. He would say "I love you" for the very last time. I unfolded a chair into a bed. Like a mama bear, I spent the night.

The nurses would come in yelling his name at 1am flipping the bright lights unaware I was there. He shushed them shaking his head 'no' back and forth. I reminded them he's not deaf, just young, and shut off those freaking bright lights, I said! 

They'd come in every few hours asking if he needed pain medication and he'd shake his head no. Chris was very aware and could hear everything. Honoring his voice was really important to him, and me.

Sunday morning I fed him scrambled eggs, apple sauce and Ensure with a straw. After this meal I heard his gut rumble. He winced in pain and wanted relief. A nurse came in to accommodate.

Little would we realize this full dose of pain relief was too strong and would cost him a whole day of sleeping. This meant he was not responsive enough to eat or drink. He was dehydrating.

Monday morning I met with the hospice medical doctor. She said if we can get him hydrated with Ensure ice chips and get his bowl movements going maybe this could buy us time as I researched and contacted whomever I could to help with a live donor transplant scenario.

In my naivety of how all of this works, as I reached out to others for help, I eventually had to come to peace with him no longer being as responsive like he was on Saturday or Sunday.

While I worked on my computer sending out mass amounts of email I put on dolphin and whale music which made him smile as he drifted in and out of sleep and talked to him about his legacy which we would create together. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIutCgmqZCU

Monday night was a more peaceful sleep and this time I made sure they gave him his pain meds before changing his wound dressings instead of after. I asked the nurses, "do you want your Novocain shot before or after your tooth is pulled out?"

Tuesday morning I told Daniel to come and get me as Chris' dad Scott was visiting around noon. At this point I understood Chris would die of dehydration, not from his liver disease, and was grateful that he no longer felt hunger pains. If only we had more time and help.

Arriving at the hotel I showered and crawled into bed and napped for about three hours when I got a call on my phone which would force me to get up and start making phone calls again to 'people' who I thought might be able to help and sent even more emails.

My body was exhausted, my brain was limping and I didn't care how much of a fool I might of make of myself as I pleaded for help for Chris to those I reached out to.

As a parent you turn every stone and go searching for even more just in case there's a miracle under one of them. As entrepreneurs we do this in business, as parents and people we do this in life for those we love.

His dad Scott had come to spend the afternoon with him and went back home around 6pm for a change of clothes to prepare to spend the night with Chris. Give me a night off.

Instead, Nurse Misty would call me a bit after 8pm telling me to hurry and come. Chris is on his last breadth! She would stay with Chris, holding his hand until Daniel dropped me off.

As Nurse Misty opened the hospice building door for me she said "I'm sorry, he's passed. I was with him and he went peacefully and beautifully."

Chris' dad Scott would not show up . . . he said he wanted to remember Chris in a picture he took that afternoon napping with oxygen tubes.

After entering Chris' room I purposed my nervous energy to quickly set-up the dolphin music on my laptop and turned on the lavender infuser. To me, Chris looked like he was just napping peacefully, like many times before as a teenager and young adult.

This time instead of awaking he would look at to help his spirit soar to join his friends and family members who had gone before him - who were calling him over.

I just talked with him and reminded him that I will always carry him on me somehow, that we'd never be apart and still create a legacy together. In peace, I prayed a blessing over him. 

Then shot the last video of me sharing this experience with those who knew and loved him, and those who would. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2XZ4tdncwc

The following Saturday his best friend Russ did a memorial having Chris' friends share their memories and stories with him and I shared some of what he experience in his last weeks which he would never want his friends to go through. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEkbieIUFrg

I am one of the lucky moms who saw her child during this COVID time, and was with her child in this process of crossing over. I know there are many this last year who could not. We never wanted to be part of the bereaved parents club and now we are.

Chris lost his best friend Jon in a car wreck in his junior year in high school and nine other friends over the last decade. This was too much for this high empath, and now he joins them in peace and spirit.

It's been one week since Chris went on his sabbatical. Daniel and I are on the road back to AZ and then up to OR to drop of the Xterra we gave him last New Years! His belongings I gave to his best friend Russ to go through when he can because I will not, at this time.

Right now, it's time for me to weave this experience into the fabric of my message and mission of wellness, by choice because by the time Chris chose his wellness it was too late. It doesn't have to be that for others

Just maybe through this experience, Chris is also saving my life so I won't need to go through what he did. I'm already changing my ways by almost eliminating alcohol and have ordered my VIOME kit to check my biome weather report and my 14 day liver detox kit.

It's time for me to get back to work to help improve and save the lives of those who choose wellness. As I work my face off in remembrance of Chris his ashes will be converted into gemstones so he can be with me at all times.

So if you are reading this and are a healthy or wellness food, product or service provider, help me help others by choice me as I launch my April 24-25 Wellness by Choice Expo in Phoenix at the Convention Center. Go to https://WellnessbyChoice.com or text your email to me at 480.440.4740

To donate towards Chris' Memorial Fund go here - https://venmo.com/angelina-chris