Wellness For All: Stop People-Pleasing to Improve Your Mental Health
Anna Pereira Chairwoman Soul Ventures
The Wellness Universe, CEO | Wellness for All Programming Founder | Corporate & Group Wellness | SoulTreat Retreat Producer | #1 Best Selling Author | Women Owned Business | Mentor | LinkedIn Top Leadership Voice
Dear Reader -
I awoke this morning to a post on IG from Sheri Salata about people pleasing. Last night tips on being an inspiring leader through setting boundaries was brought up in a conversation I was having with Kevin Steele on zoom. Okay Universe, I hear you...
A theme within the last 24 hours to level-up my leadership was to address my people pleasing tendencies.
Tired of being a doormat? Me too. If you can relate to being a people pleaser, yet, you have big goals and audacious missions, you know you are only holding yourself back when you are people pleasing.
Below, I'm sharing an article,?originally published on The Wellness Universe, for all of us people pleasers out there who seek to be and do more in life and leave a legacy of greatness, love, and contribution to humanity.
Enjoy the read and resources to live and lead with love, compassion, well-being and impact.
Have a day to treasure,
~ Anna
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Stop People-Pleasing to Improve Your Mental Health
Each of us wants to feel accepted and liked. We want to be recognized for our hard work and thought of as kind and helpful in our communities and among friends. But if you’re a people pleaser, you have most likely picked-up some habits that are slowly eating away at your confidence and your self-worth.
How Do You Know If You’re A People Pleaser?
If these descriptions sound like you, then you are most likely a people pleaser.
It’s entirely too self-defeating and erodes the quality of your mental health and well-being to go through life feeling like your ideas are not as important as someone else’s. Not only are you causing yourself additional emotional stress by worrying if others are “happy enough,” but you’re failing to give yourself enough credit for your own thoughts, wants, and desires in life.
Worried you’ll come across as unkind, stubborn, or abrasive? If your heart is in the right place, you have nothing to worry about. It is impossible to please all of the people all of the time and that’s okay. Understanding that you cannot control other people’s thoughts is a big step in the right direction to a greater sense of self-appreciation.
Remember, someone else’s thoughts and desires do not require a change in your own beliefs or item on your to-do list. Shared below are a few things you can do to start living for yourself.
Here Are 3 Ways to Stop Being A People Pleaser:
1. Say No to One Thing You Don’t Want to Do
If you’re like many people-pleasers out there, you’re overcommitted because you have a hard time saying?“no.”?It’s liberating to get some free time back for no other reason than the fact that you can. Next time someone asks you to do something for them, respond politely by saying,
“Thank you for thinking of me. Let me check my schedule and get back to you.”?If it’s not something you want to add to your schedule, it’s okay to say, no.
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2. Ask Thought-Provoking Questions
Ask thought-provoking questions to instigate conversation instead of conflict when you don’t agree with someone. Agreeing with everyone does not accomplish anything. Know that you have valuable opinions, and your questions will most likely spawn new ideas that others had not previously thought of. If you’re at work, for example, consider asking,?“Have you considered doing it this way?”?or?“If we try thing A instead of thing B, what do you see as the outcome?”
Conversation breeds creativity.
3. Try A New Hobby
Making a decision to do an activity on your own, at a time and location you choose without any outside input is a great first step in building confidence in your decision-making abilities. Take yourself to a movie. Try a new restaurant. Go to a new store.
If you are trying to be all things to all people, you will never reach your goals in life.
You have them, I know you do! It’s time to embrace what makes you unique and stop worrying about what others think. When you focus on the things that make you happy in this world, you will meet people who are like you. You will surround yourself with others who have similar values and build yourself up for the person you are truly meant to be on the inside.
After reading this article, what is one decision are you going to make and stick to today, for yourself, no matter what other people think?
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Wishing you a day to treasure!
Anna Pereira, Chairwoman Soul Ventures The Wellness Universe, CEO | Wellness for All, Founder (Well-being Events & Courses) | Corporate & Group Wellness | SoulTreat Retreat Producer |?#1?Best Selling Author | Women Owned Business | Mentor
Management Consultant | Executive Coach | Sales & Leadership Trainer
2 年Great message Anna Pereira Chairwoman Soul Ventures! One of my values, and a mission of mine, is to help others be unapologetically true to who they are... there is no room for people pleasing in that phrase. I usually add "generously" to unapologetic because I also think being unapologetic is not an excuse for being unkind. When we can bring kindness and generosity to who we be, and make space for others to do the same, the need to please has no place.
Stress Management, Addiction Recovery Coach, Ancestral Clearing? Practitioner
2 年Don't be afraid of losing people. Be afraid of losing yourself by trying to please everyone around you. ??????
Holistic Empowerment Mentor & Community Builder ??Mastermind Facilitator ??Collaborative Partnership Specialist ??Show Host ??International Bestselling Author and Speaker
2 年Fantastic words for deeper reflection Anna. I enjoyed reading the entire article. Thank you
Gendai Reiki Ho Shihan, Komyo Reiki Kai Shihan, Master Herbalist, Author, Speaker & founder of Natural Healing & Learning Center
2 年Thank you for sharing suggestions on letting go of worry and taking on self-awareness without ego. All we can do is our best at that moment in time, so rather than getting caught up in worry simply let go and allow the universe to take care of the rest. When we know all that we can do is our best at that moment in time, we view others in that light. That view helps us to be in a state of calmness whether we are being praised or blamed, rather than taking on the vibrations created by the opinions of others.
Author | Speaker | Trainer | Director of Training and Program Development | Publisher | Recording Artist
2 年What a great topic and article. Thank you for the great tips. Working on them!