How can you help clients listen without judgment?

We need to understand that the brain is programmed to make quick decisions. It seeks short cuts. This is why we are subjected to various biases. In order to listen without judgment we need to separate ourselves from the their story. Observe it from the outside looking in and consciously stop ourselves from drawing conclusions. When you feel like you are, step into curiosity and find out what truly is happening. If takes active participation to listen without judgment. 1. Detach 2. Be open 3. Stay curious

According to my experience, for many years we were trained to speak, communicate, make ourselves understood but not to understand the other. Active listening is one of the most in-demand skills in leadership environments. Active listening is a sign of empathy and recognizing who the other is, giving them importance and value, which is very important for high-performance teams and effective leadership.

A few considerations to keep in mind: 1. Model Non-judgemental Behaviour: Model the behaviour you want your clients to adopt. This can include maintaining eye contact, nodding, and using open body language to convey attentiveness. 2. Promote open communication : Encourage clients to express themselves without fear of judgment, and create a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings. 3. Explore personal values : Understanding one's own values can make it easier to recognize and set aside judgment when engaging with others who may have different perspectives. 4. Use reflective language: Encourage clients to use reflective language to validate the feelings and experiences of others.

We can't listen without judgment. We are meaning-making machines and to listen is to judge. Start there. I can't not judge what the person is saying, but I can respond wisely to my reaction to that they're saying. Secondly, get as close as you can at the moment into whatever for you is an optimal performance state to listen. Generally, when I'm relaxed and in a good state it is easy for me to not be triggered into what I think you are referring to as "judging" the client. In other words, my reaction to the client's words and actions is less when I'm in a good state than when I'm stressed already or worried about my performance with the client. That makes it easier to support the client in getting what they want which is my goal.

As a business coach, the most important thing is to first create a safe environment that allows our clients to feel comfortable sharing and talking without fear. It is important to listen to our clients with non-judgmental listening, let them know that we care about them, and want to understand their situation. Let them express themselves freely and feel heard. Analyze clients body language is important.

Communication has always been about stating what 'I' want and hence the focus shifts from the speaker to ourselves. As a coach, I have come to believe that clients come to us to find validation for their own ambitions. And here it becomes impreative that the coach sheds their own ambitions and partakes in the client's ambitions, hopes, challenges and dreams. Every piece of communication verbal or non verbal can be interpreted as 'judgement' derailing the client. Becoming alive to ourselves, being mindful in that space, I think enhances empathetic listening...

We are conditioned to 'listen to respond' rather than 'listen to understand'. This leads us to listen superficially, while our brain is thinking about what should be our response and planning it. Another way in which judgemental listening can be identified is when, while listening to someone, our emotional states arise and we respond basis that. This indicates that we are not present to the other person, but are busy with our thoughts and emotions, that are triggered by what we are listening.

On reconnait souvent le jugement par la sensation d'une émotion qui émerge en nous-même. Il importe donc d'être attentif à ce qui se passe en soi et se rappeler que pour maintenir une position sans jugement, on doit conserver un état intérieur neutre, dans l'instant présent. La conscience de cette réalité est importante, car elle permet d'avoir un état d'esprit ? mindset ? qui favorise l'ouverture à l'autre pour un accompagnement positif et bienveillant.

Damit das gelingt, darf man schon sehr reflektiert sein. Sich selbst im Gespr?ch kritisch zu beobachten, ist in emotionalen Situationen schwer. Mein Tipp: Mach dir die Reflexion des Gespr?ches im Nachgang zur Gewohnheit. Welche Gefühle kamen hoch? Was hat dich getriggert? Warum war das wohl so? Was willst du beim n?chsten Mal anders machen und wie kann das gelingen?

One of the best tools to hone active listening and empathy is the open question. From the question we are able to discover the message that the client gives us, making sure not to give in to our judgments or interpretation of what they really want to tell us and we can hear. In short, listening is a great investment in a business coaching conversation.

Create a judgment-free zone for clients to express themselves openly. Lean into curiosity by asking open-ended questions that show genuine care. A thoughtful pause can be powerful—perfect responses not required. Validate their emotions; it's about honoring their experience, not agreement. When clients feel heard, understood, and accepted, you become a trusted partner, not just a service provider.

One of the most important elements of listening actively, with empathy, and being fully present to the coachee, is for the coach to keep their own emotions in check. Otherwise, the coach might get entangled in their own story and emotions, and lose the coachees path. Another way of listening with empathy is acknowledging not just the words (what the coachee is saying) but also their feelings. Helping the coachee to articulate their emotions, may help them significantly. Using silence as an acknowledgment can give the right space to the coachee, especially in a state of heightened emotions.

Die wahrgenommenen Gefühle des anderen zu benennen, ist eine gute M?glichkeit, um dieser Stufe des aktiven Zuh?rens zu entsprechen. Ich habe für solche F?lle eine Liste mit Emotionen verschiedener Kategorien. Denn Gefühle richtig zu benennen, kann in der Situation schwerfallen. Die Liste ist daher hilfreich. Bei Interesse an der Liste, kurze Nachricht an mich. :)

Empathetic listening is indeed a key skill in coaching. The related risk, however, is rooted in underplaying the potential pitfalls of over-empathizing, which can lead to emotional enmeshment and loss of objectivity. An excessive alignment with a client's emotions might cloud a coach's judgment, impeding their ability to challenge the client constructively or maintain necessary professional boundaries. It is crucial to balance empathy with a level of detachment, ensuring that the coach remains a supportive yet objective facilitator of the client’s self-exploration and growth.

"Schweigen" ist eine m?chtige Waffe der Kommunikation. Schweigen gibt dem anderen Raum, die eigenen Gedanken zu ordnen. Wenn du nicht damit besch?ftigt bist, deine eigene Antwort zurechtzulegen, klappt sowohl das Zuh?ren als auch das Schweigen besser.

L'une de mes stratégies avec mes clients est de les amener à conscientiser le fait qu'il y a peut-être une autre fa?on de voir les choses. De les questionner sur les différentes avenues possibles face aux situations qu'ils me décrivent. De les amener à prendre conscience des motivations potentielles des autres personnes impliquées. Des enjeux et des opportunités qu'ils n'ont peut-être pas considérés au premier abord, etc. Souvent cet exercice permet l'émergence d'une nouvelle compréhension des situations et permet d'identifier des avenues de solutions qui n'auraient pas été envisagées autrement.

Le respect, l'intégrité et l'écoute sont des valeurs essentielles au sein de toute relation d'accompagnement, de mentorat ou de coaching. Il importe donc de réaliser qu'une relation de confiance se développe par la démonstration de ces valeurs qui se doivent de transpara?tre dans nos interventions. La bienveillance, si essentielle dans le monde actuel, est un état d'être qui émerge lorsqu'on utilise nos qualités de coeur, en leur permettant de s'exprimer par nos comportements et nos interactions avec les autres.

The questions that the coach uses after listening to the coachee can indicate what she/he as a coach thinks and feels. If the coachee perceives the questions as being directed towards them in an evaluative or judgemental manner, they may go into a shell making the further conversation ineffective. Not evaluating the responses of the coachee is a mark of being respectful of what they think and feel.

Several things that I have found helpful are as follows: 1. Make sure that you REALLY are listening, not in your head preparing to respond. 2.Trust that you can respond well. 3. If you do not have an adequate response, don't worry about it! Just tell your client that you don't yet know how to respond and you will find that they respect your honesty. 4. When your client hears #3, they will, of course, respond and probably help you with their answer. 5. Trust that your client has the answer(s) to their problem/question inside of them. If they need additional information from you, you can then provide it. 6. Finally, reward your client with praise for going inside themself to find the answer and give truly honest feedback, positive first.

Listening without judgment is a crucial aspect, and many of my clients in leadership positions struggle with listening and with impatience. I am currently preparing another coaching session focused on improving listening skills. In this context, I find the 4 levels of listening from Theory U particularly valuable. After an introduction to the concept, it's about reflecting on the nuances of listening quality and starting this journey, without judging the different forms of listening you observe in yourself. To facilitate this, I have created a listening journal that will be filled out by our next session. This often leads to insightful moments that shows that ability to listen without judgment can be cultivated.

A simple way to identify if you as a coach are listening without judgment is to evaluate the thoughts and self-talk to check if you agree or disagree with the coachee or their approach. When the coach is unbiased and free from the rights and wrongs of their own thinking, is only when they can listen without judgment.

To practice non-judgmental listening, focus on observable facts rather than interpretations. Often, we unconsciously read into others' words. For example, if someone says, "I'm always in a hurry in the morning and struggle to be on time," avoid assuming they want to be punctual. Instead, note only what's stated: they're in a hurry and find timeliness challenging. By sticking to what's explicitly said and not inferring more, we listen more effectively and impartially.

To help clients listen without judgment, guide them to approach conversations as explorers entering new territories, where every interaction is a land unknown, filled with opportunities to discover rather than assess. This mindset encourages curiosity and a suspension of preconceived notions, fostering a genuine understanding of diverse perspectives.

Listening without judgement may be challenging but with EMPATHY it is possible to put ourselves in our clients' feet and see their reasons behind their thoughts, feelings, actions. CURIOSITY also helps to avoid judgement and it is in the essence of a coach's work, like a detective, fully present and fully interested in understanding, not judging, our client.

I understood the question at the start of this article was asking how clients can listen without judgement; this is a really interesting question as I hear clients making judgements about themselves and others very often. As a coach I have responsibility and skills in enabling a client to recognise their own judgement patterns. They’re also useful skills to check our own judgement. Questions like “what let’s you know that is true?” Or virtually stepping into the shoes of others to gain insight and multiple perspectives. There are a lot of emotional messages in judgement and paying attention to these can help move clients and coaches from judgement to curiosity.

Des approches telles que le dessin, l'écriture favorisent cette attitude neutre et ouverte. Le client n'aura pas l'impression de faire des efforts pour écouter, mais percevra cela comme un véritable plaisir. Cela suscite le désir d'apprendre et crée ainsi un cercle vertueux dans le processus de acquisition de connaissance.