Well, well, well, look at you!,,,,,,

Do you know what, as the world is all a bit mad at the moment I thought I would try and inject some humour and have a little fun, albeit about some serious subjects for the automotive sector and at the expense of some others; so sense of humours at the ready people!

And when I say mad, I mean mad! I’ve never known anything like it in all my years in the automotive sector but one thing is for sure, the madness of what’s happening now lies in all the ridiculous decisions made by the manufacturers and their franchise partners many moons ago, so in many respects the associations at risk now only have themselves to blame; honestly you really couldn’t make it up!

So in the coming weeks I thought I’d reflect on the current state of affairs in the automotive sector and share my thoughts on where the automotive sector in the UK seems to be heading, although that changes almost on a weekly basis.

The style? Well that will be some open letters and mock school reports for various companies and sectors in the retail automotive sector where we can all reflect on the past 7 months, the changes coming to the automotive sector and what it means for us all; in the hope that by confronting the issues, those who should be responsible, suddenly wake up and start earning their salaries!

So where to start? Well there was almost too much choice at the moment; an open letter to the manufacturers, an open letter to franchised dealer networks, a summary of the Bogey Man peddling the “Emperor’s New Clothes” business model that is the “So Called” Disruptors, the WTF are they doing this week approach of Cazoo? But no; this week, of all weeks, I had to start with BC A and the launch of Cinch!

But first some necessary caveats that are reflective of the “World” we live in today, where there is a little too much running off to “Mummy” because the horrible man is teasing me and pleading; “it’s just not fair so please unleash the lawyers to sort him out, I know his sort, growing up in the 70’s, riding his Raleigh Chopper, watching the Banana Splits, modelling himself on Jack Reegan, (or even worse, that terribly sexist Bodie character from the professionals) and listening to Never Mind The B#llocks by the Sex Pistols! How uncouth, Ugh!”

So for the avoidance of any doubt and to play to these sensitivities, and the lawyers, don’t get your knickers in twist, this is a bit old fashioned fun, nothing is to be taken seriously and no of course I wasn’t at the meeting referred to below, or had access to any of the operational decisions that were made. The below is an observation and a joke to cheer us up, you remember a joke? Those things that the Two Ronnies used to tell on TV before we all lost our sense of humours!

Now; let’s get cracking because I have to say “Holy Sh#t Guys!” The absolute brazen gall of it all and c’mon please give a thought for Mr Chesterman, with all his new sites to fill with used cars – sorry handover centres – yeah, if you say so Alex, (for his re-inventing the wheel online used car business – “Cazooooo no you probably cant!”), I mean how on earth can he do it now? Now that you are out there, flaunting your association with Rylan, showing off and bragging about your stock holding of over 4,000 cars! It’s just not fair!

But hold the front page you little monkeys; as much as perception is reality in most people’s eyes we know you haven’t “got” over 4,000 used cars in stock, don’t we guys? (I will come back to this point later) I mean c’mon guys, as much as this is a clever message there is much smoke and mirrors at play here. In fact as much as read your website open mouthed and understand why you have done this, well I’m staggered by the bravado and worry about the over-confidence that may have now left your whole business vulnerable.

Let me explain; by whole business I mean BCA, your auction company, the dangers of which I wrote about a while ago for my Used Car Business Development Blog; if you would like to read the said articles please follow the links;

The Madness Of “All-Auction” Disposal Policies And The Cost That Will Be Paid!,,, (UK Manufacturers Article)

The Madness Of “All-Auction” Disposal Policies And The Cost That Will Be Paid!,,, (UK Dealer Article)

I won’t repeat what I wrote then, it is a matter of record, and my predictions seem to have come to pass, so to inject a little humour I thought I would try to imagine what was said at the board meeting at BCA, the one when the decision was made to launch Cinch, because I wondered how it might have gone. Now I don’t know the names of the people involved so let’s just imagine 2 people in the room, the Director Of Taking The P#ss  and the Director Of Burning Bridges.

Meeting Minutes;

Director Of Burning Bridges; Well I’ve just seen the accounts; another fantastic year, I really can’t believe we are lucky enough to run a business where we never have to purchase any stock, and only pay for it weeks after we’ve been paid! How did that ever happen? Cigar anyone?

Director Of Taking The P#ss; I’m not sure but apparently back in the early 90’s the Director of “Well There’s No Harm In Asking” noticed that franchised dealers were being sold to PLC’s who liked to have accountants running their businesses not entrepreneurial sales professionals; and he managed to convince all the franchise dealers to start sending all their part exchanges to us; for free!

Director Of Burning Bridges; Stop taking the p#ss! Do you think I was born yesterday? Why would anyone running a business gives us their business for free?

Director Of Taking The P#ss; I know it’s mad, but they did!

Director Of Burning Bridges; Hmmm, well if they are that stupid, why don’t we use this funding model and turn ourselves into a used car retailer as well? Why not, one business feeds the other, they’re happy funding it for us and they don’t seem to want to invest in used car retailing either!

Director Of Taking The P#ss; But surely that’s a bit risky, won’t they realise what’s going on and stop sending us their part exchanges to auction, should we really rock the boat?

Director Of Burning Bridges; I doubt it! You see the PLC “Suits” running businesses didn’t like employing genuinely successful sales professionals or entrepreneurial used car professionals, so they all left. I promise no one will notice!

Director Of Taking The P#ss; What’s Rylan’s number?

Now I love ambition but effectively you could now be in a game of chicken and a battle of who is most stupid? You for not just keeping quiet and not rocking the boat or the manufacturers, their in-house finance companies and their franchise dealers for continuing to hand you a very profitable business for free, whilst funding it all for you; and as much as you say you have over 4,000 cars on site, I wonder how many are owned and can’t be recalled by supplying dealers once they have woken up and decide to do so?

But let’s not put a dampener on things guys, after all this is your moment and Rylan is on board, so I wish you well. Let’s hope that manufacturers and their franchise partners don’t wake up to the fact that they should really be controlling their own new and used car markets.

After all they produce the product and they have the ability to lock retail used car stock into their approved used car businesses, (if they were capable of course), via the manipulation of RV’s in PCP agreements, thus controlling access to their market and customers. For sure there is much work to do to make this happen, but it is not hard to replicate what you have done, whereas making your own product? Well that’s another issue entirely! But for now; 10 out of 10 for sheer brazen cheek! I love it!

To the manufacturers and the boards of the PLC’s running vast swathes of franchise dealer networks I would only say that it really doesn’t have to be like this. The perception with customers is that these disruptive businesses are winning, when really you should be just copying the clever parts of their model, (in most cases just a tech platform and website that collects data, and some advertising), and start learning to develop successful used car businesses and starting to sell again; yes I know that old chestnut! Stop rolling your eyes at the back!

What probably isn’t a very good idea is to continue to send part exchanges, the vast majority of which are desirable retail used cars, (just not to you), to an auction house that is now a competitor used car retailer being funded by this very process.

Any senior professional based at board level within a manufacturer, PLC or franchised dealer group who wishes to discuss how to change the direction travel; please feel free to get in contact, in the strictest of confidence. I have some spare time at the moment as I prepare for our professional sales and business development opportunities of the future; so unusually I am around. You never know, you might just learn something!

Right!,,,,, Whose next?,,,,,, Well it just has to be the Manufacturers; article coming soon! Until then; remember stop living in fear and wake up, if you want to keep your business? Don’t want to listen, well just take 5 minutes to join these dots; We Buy Any Car – BCA Auctions – Cinch! Anyone needing me to explain the threat here might just be in the wrong job!

Bye for now!