Well-Being Wednesday: Building Self Worth

Well, after nearly a month (oops ??), we are back in your inbox with well-being insights to help you succeed, thrive, and matter in your daily life. Now that spring has officially arrived, it is a great time to focus on opening yourself to the world and finding new ways to prioritize your well-being. This week, we're offering some strategies on how you can build self-worth.

Chances are, you’ve heard the many “self-” words. There’s self-esteem, self-respect, self-confidence, self-love, self-care, and so on. While professional development might seem like we should focus on things like public speaking skills, networking, or writing, cultivating self-worth might actually be a better launch point.

Like many of us, you might have experienced feelings of unworthiness at times, which can have a negative impact on mental health. Low self-worth is shown to correlate with anxiety and depression along with other potentially negative habits such as increased substance use.

At this point, it's helpful to distinguish between self-worth and self-esteem.?Self-esteem?is derived from our abilities, accomplishments, social positions and things we believe we can achieve. We can bolster our self-esteem by improving our skills or performance, and our self-esteem goes up or down depending on how we’re doing in various aspects of our lives.

In contrast,?unconditional self-worth?is distinct from our abilities and accomplishments. It’s not about comparing ourselves to others; it’s not something that we can have more or less of. Unconditional self-worth is the sense that you deserve to be alive, to be loved, cared for, and respected.?

This can be challenging, especially in our professional lives. Much of our self-worth seems to be tied to our accomplishments, degrees, papers published, etc. We are often bombarded by others' accomplishments (through tools like LinkedIn and other social avenues), which can exacerbate the situation.?

Cultivating unconditional self-worth is an ongoing practice. Here are four ways you can begin to feel more worthy starting right here, right now:

1. Connect to supportive people?

Low self-worth can leave us feeling isolated and alone. When we think there’s something wrong with us, we tend to pull away from our relationships, and this isolation only exacerbates our feelings of unworthiness. Knowing that we are not alone in our struggles and pain reminds us that challenges don’t make us unworthy. Connecting to people who are supportive helps us to get in touch with our humanity and our sense of worth.

Final word: The journey to unconditional self-worth is not always easy, but critical for our professional and personal success.?

2. Forgive yourself

Many of us struggle to feel worthy, because we are angry with ourselves about past mistakes. Forgiveness involves acknowledging and accepting what has happened. Acceptance releases us from blaming ourselves and others and allows us to move forward.

To forgive yourself, reflect on the circumstances that led to past mistakes, acknowledge the pain you experienced and identify what you learned from the situation. Then say to yourself “I forgive you” — in an honest and kind way. This might sound a bit cheesy, but it works. ??

3. Practice self-compassion

See if you can let go of the thoughts you have about how the way you think, feel, or look should be different. Instead, focus on the things you like about yourself. Nobody is perfect. Over time, begin to embrace your quirks — your awkward jokes at the water cooler, your process of leading meetings, your unusual way of thinking about things. Through this acceptance, you’re acknowledging that you are worthy just the way you are.

4. Be there for yourself

When life gets rough, many of us abandon ourselves. We engage in harsh self-criticism, which only leaves us feeling worse. What we need most when we are going through a difficult time is for someone to say “I see you. I see how badly you’re hurting. I’m here.” Acknowledging this for yourself can go a long way to helping you heal and grow.

We can do all of these things for ourselves.

The next time you experience emotional pain, acknowledge how you are feeling and offer yourself some comfort. Place your hand on your chest, give yourself a hug, or say something kind and soothing to yourself. Remember these strategies and be sure to continue down the road to self worth. You'll thank yourself for it.

Until next time, be well & thrive.

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