Well-Being Wednesday: Asking For & Accepting Help.

There are few matched feelings of accomplishment, like the one you feel when you're quickly and easily checking items off of your to-do list. You're conquering tasks large and small, near and far when your shiny, red superhero cape gets caught on a tree branch.?

Say you get a frustrating email from a supervisor or have a difficult interaction with a colleague and don’t know the best next step. In situations like this, you'll benefit most from asking for help. That doesn’t mean you’re incompetent - just that another perspective and skillset would support you.

Because we are filled with a sense of individuality and control when we're able to take care of work and problem-solving on our own, we often resist the help of others when we truly need it. Being overly independent is a route that can incidentally lead us to feeling isolated and down. On the contrary, opening yourself up to collaborating with others and receiving help can give you? the alternate perspective you need. Support can come from anywhere - a friend, a conversation with a trusted mentor, or a counselor or other helping professional.

Myth busting assumptions about asking for help:

• You may feel that you look incapable, but you really look prepared, self-aware and thorough.
• Resisting when someone offers their assistance or advice can come across as cold or unfriendly.
• Receiving help doesn't mean you will owe someone a favor in the future--kindness comes with no obligation.
• As impressive as it might be, no one expects you to go about life or work alone in order to be viewed as impressive or successful.
• Whether from a friend or a stranger, getting advice or assistance can foster great relationships.

It can be hard to challenge our brain’s hardwired uneasiness with asking for help. Whether we feel we will lose some control, come off as needy, or fear being rejected, here are a few strategies to ask for and accept help from others.?

1. Start small - You wouldn’t go to the gym and pick up the heaviest weight right away. We all need to warm up and build our strength. Like a muscle, exercise asking for help by starting with a smaller task. Instead of asking for help from your manager, maybe ask a peer if they can support first. This smaller act might build confidence for larger asks for help.?
2. Reframe your ask - Instead of making our asks a perceived transaction, make it a conversation. Instead of can you help me with…. try, I’ve got a problem or challenge and I could really use your help. Let’s talk it through and see what we can come up with together. Not only does that feel more respectful to the recipient, but it also allows you to develop a deeper connection with the person who you’re asking for help.?
3. Build a team - Reflect on who can be your support team for a variety of challenges. Keep this list handy and be ready to act when the next challenge arises.?

Finally, remember even the best get outside help! If not, we wouldn't have vice presidents, understudies on Broadway, or assistant coaches in sports. Go ahead. Try it next time you’re stuck and reach out.

Thanks for reading! Be well & thrive.

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