WELCOME TO MY NEW NEWSLETTER AND YOUR NEW LIFE!!

WELCOME TO MY NEW NEWSLETTER AND YOUR NEW LIFE!

This is the first article of my new newsletter, and I thought it would be good to start off with some definitions and introductions since we are starting our journey of exploration and emotional challenges together!

What does Emotional Mastery mean to me?

The short answer is taking responsibility for our emotions and the connected physical reactions we experience as we go through life. Knowing we DO have agency here. That we CAN make choices about our cognition (the way we think) and our resulting emotions and somatic (bodily) reactions. Learning more about our emotions not just the initial experiences. For example, all emotions can be identified. Each emotion has a physical expression in our bodies. Each emotion has a message they are trying to bring us. Each emotion is TEMPORARY. If not dealt with constructively, each emotion stays hidden in our bodies until we cannot cope with it anymore and then it will come back to bite us in the backside when we least expect it. So better to learn how to deal with each emotion constructively straight off. Another aspect to be considered here is learning how to relate to those around you in less emotionally governed ways, to reap the rewards of closer and better relationships in your life. In other words, learning how to make our emotions our friends working with us, rather than our enemies working against us. This for me is Emotional Mastery.

Why is Emotional Mastery so important?

As human beings we all experience emotions, if we are working correctly that is! However, many of us have become masters at denying, ignoring, avoiding, or deferring them (e.g., squashing them down for another time). We do this for many reasons, including personal survival strategies from childhood and lack of support from significant adults around us; societal pressure; family conditioning; religious expectations; cultural expectations; even gender expectations.

The consequences of not learning Emotional Mastery skills can include:

• loss of intimacy in relationships
• loss of trust in relationships
• a lot of time and energy trying to make amends for emotional outbursts
• a distance between parent and child
• a gradual exclusion from social circles
• addictive behaviours
• criminal activities to pay for addictive behaviours
• spousal or child abuse
• increase of road rage and disproportional anger and violence
• loss of self esteem
• loss of self-respect
• increase in self-reproach and self-hatred
• increase in social anxiety and social fears
• increase in quite frankly unnecessary misery

Why is Emotional Mastery so important right now?

I hardly have to remind you that we have all been through a globally unifying experience over the past several years, that of COVID-19. There was nobody to guide us into the quarantines we experienced, although our governments did try their best to guide and inform us, to varying degrees of success, I admit. There were extremely high levels of uncertainty in our lives with no way of knowing how this would work out, for the world or for us individually with our loved ones. Our ability to make decisions about how we were to live life seemed to be taken from us and stress, anxiety and fear levels rose across the globe. We had to manage these forced changes the best we could and for many of us too, there was the experience of grief to go through as well at the loss of loved ones during the quarantining.

Some of us were forced to quarantine on our own and we missed human contact in the form of socialising with our friends at the weekends. Some of us were forced to endure quarantining with those we really did not want to be near for various reasons. Some of us were more resilient than others and could adapt better to their new world order. They were able to work from home, still making an income to support their homes and loved ones. They were still able to connect through Zoom to keep socialised. They had routines and could laugh about them with others. Everyone had to find their own way into and through quarantining.

Just when we were getting secure and, dare I say it, even a little comfortable in our quarantining, suddenly we were told that we would be let out again! Then there were all the adjustments needed to be leaving the house again, to face our "New Normal". To mask or not to mask? That was, and still is for many, the question. Go back to the office or stay working from home? Go to the large group conferences, sporting events or concerts again? Fly to have a well-deserved holiday or not? Job hunting and financial difficulties too. Whilst all these decisions have their logistical aspects, they have also had their emotional impacts too. All of which has led to continued high levels of stress, anxiety and fears for many of us.

It is my belief that now is a unique time in world history and in learning how to manage our emotions to limit their detrimental consequences on us, those around us, and on society itself, we can become more resilient to change, whether we have invited that change or not. We can problem-solve more effectively, and we can better communicate our emotional needs and requests from others without our emotions hijacking the processes. We can lead happier and healthier lives, both emotionally and physically and help others to do the same.

Why should you listen to me?

I must point out at this stage that I am an Emotional Mastery Coach at the start of my professional journey. To be honest, I am a late starter in the game of emotional mastery but have a passion of empowering my clients to move from a black and white world where they merely survive emotionally to a vividly coloured vibrant world where they can truly thrive emotionally.

I am NOT a clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist or guru healer. Having said that, as a Coach, I am more than happy to refer any of my clients to more medically trained professionals if I believe that therapy or working with a psychiatrist would serve them better. My experience in the world of emotional mastery has come from a wide variety of therapies and self-development approaches as a PATIENT/CONSUMER as part of my personal journey. I believe this makes my approach unique as an Emotional Mastery Coach.

I am most definitely still a work in progress, as we all are until our last breath on earth. Having said that though, I am so excited about all these new things I have been learning, especially over the past four years or so. I would really love to share some of them with you. I have had to find these things out for myself, with no coherent guidance from others. Why do you have to re-invent the wheel in your journey if I can help with what I have learned already?

Growing up, I was frequently told what NOT to do, but rarely, if ever, shown any tricks, tips or tools on how to "do emotions" constructively. Hence the long-term survival strategies I adopted over the years to get my emotional needs met by those around me growing up. I am now well into my 50s now and have finally discovered that I CAN challenge life-long emotional habits and learn to control my so-called "automatic" emotional outbursts. I CAN repair some of the damage at least, caused by my outbursts by building new and stronger relationships with those who I love and have them be based on trust, not fear! I CAN express my needs and desires in a situation without my emotions hijacking my communication and blowing it for me. I know 100% that I CAN face and embrace my emotions, even the most uncomfortable ones, and that they will never come back to bite me in the backside when I least expect it, because they are released as experienced and healed emotions with no need for vengeance! I CAN trust myself and even get to know who I am behind all the suppressed emotions.

Obviously, being an Emotional Mastery Coach is now my job, my profession and my income as well as my passion, but I am learning so much by being on my journey I would really love to share with you some of the things that are working for me in the world of emotional regulation, here in my Newsletter. Not so that I get glory and bragging rights, but so that you can grab every little golden nugget of information, encouragement and support you can to give you that little extra push along your own journey.

I appreciate and invite any responses and questions and look forward to engaging with you interactively.