Welcome To My Flaws

In short: Our world has become a celebration of what we're not, and a discomfort for who we are. In an increasingly disingenuous sea of noise, we all long for authenticity. In this crowded room of progressively fake outward personas lives the antidote. Instead of pretending to be any of the marginal success we've become, why can't we show our true colors and give the world who we really are under the surface.

Society receives in return exactly that which it chooses to celebrate: success, fame, fortune, status, possessions, makeup and a large swath of all things superficial. While in the meantime everyone is struggling to keep up these outward images, the disconnect with who they are and what they are not continues to grow, unrelentingly. So to combat this, and my own sincerity, I want to pledge to tell the world more of who I am. The bad with the good. The success is irrelevant without the flaws. This is who I am. Welcome to my flaws.

Disclaimer: This is written with the intention of getting others to accept and embrace their own flaws. To promote a way of living where we accept all that we are. We are all human, so therefore we are all flawed. Let's start with what we are instead of yelling at the world who we are not.

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Welcome To My Flaws:

1) I am severely depressed most of the time: This has been with me my entire life. This constant gravity of depression pulls at me always. And the most important thing I've learned about depression is that it is not a bad word. In society we treat mental health as a leper, but we encourage every other form of self assessment. Perhaps the first step in becoming your potential is to evaluate who you are. It doesn't have to be perfect. Though often frustrating, I love my depression. In the same way Churchill and Lincoln lived their entire lives with depression, it's helped me become the person I am. By outpacing the "black dog" we are forced to grow and evolve as humans. I am a depressed individual and I thank my own depression for forcing me to enter the arena every single day.

2) I lack confidence: I lack confidence in my own abilities, and despite my success in life, I often question, can I really do what is required of me? This confidence is not simply professional. It's much deeper than that. I lack confidence in who I am as a person and how I develop relationships with people, in achieving my own potential, in living in accordance with the person I aspire to be. I am very confident, but I lack confidence. This too is ok. I heard this quote, "insecurity is a prison that keeps your emotions captive." How true is that? We too often believe out of strength and confidence greatness is born. Perhaps in understanding and admitting where you're the weakest is the true strength. All great structures fall not from lack of strength, but from the cracks in their foundation that grow when pressure is added.

3) I am guarded: I have a thousand acquaintances, but very few whom I allow in. Life is about people, love, and connection. If we do not allow people in, how can we foster any of these. I struggle with being friends with everyone, but at an arms distance. You cannot groom which you refuse to see. I'm guarded, and that's ok.

4) I am impatient: The world is my oyster, and I cannot wait for it. In a world of immediate gratification, we are all forced to want everything immediately, whether you have the money, resources or experience required of it. Look at the countless overnight sensations who lost everything because they hadn't earned or become the person they became overnight. People aspire to be at the top, but without a parachute, it's a brisk fall to the bottom. I'm learning to train delayed gratification in the little things first. In my diet, in my finances, in my ambitions. All good things come to those who can compound their sustained focus over time.

5) I am lonely: Constantly surrounded by people, yet alone to my thoughts and philosophies always. They say leadership is lonely, but does it have to be? How much is self inflicted? How much is in our refusal to address the underlying causes, is it wrong to be alone? Maybe there is something more to this. Nikola Tesla eloquently said "Be alone, that is the secret of invention; be alone, that is when ideas are born.” Maybe he is onto something, but it's important to remember life is about people, love and connection. And flaws are not irreversible.

This is a personal rant I wanted to share with the hopes that more people look inward at who they are and practice embracing their flaws so they can double down on their strengths. I am not a believer in making every flaw a strength, but I do believe it's important to inventory your flaws and be aware of them. Much like that crazy uncle at the Christmas party you keep just close enough to so you can be cordial, but just far enough away to not become trapped in the same conversation he has with you every year about his cat Phillis. You are unique and special. And so is everyone else. Don't try to live up to the facade everyone else does. Be you. Be grateful. Be flawed.

I wanted to send my gratitude and idea for doing this to a great podcast I recently heard from Marcus Aubrey with Gary Vaynerchuk. Thanks fellas.