Welcome to Focus on the Who

Welcome to "Focus on the Who," a newsletter dedicated to exploring the importance and value of who we are beyond our professional titles, achievements, goals, and ambitions. This newsletter is the preface to what will become an engaging and thought-provoking podcast, where we delve deeper into the importance of Who Over What in business and life.

My Wake-up Call

I woke up to the value of the who about fifteen years ago. On a random Saturday, I gathered all of my journals from the past decade and conducted an experiment. I selected random dates and proceeded to read the entries in all the journals spanning over ten years. What I discovered was sad and eye-opening. It turned out that while my circumstances had changed over the years, including living in different cities, achieving goals, promotions, and working various jobs, how I felt about myself, my mindset, and who I was had not changed at all.?

As I read and flipped through the pages that spanned years of my life, it was clear that I ultimately ended up complaining and whining about the same things, year after year. I was repeating the same patterns and mistakes and kept living the same existence without truly changing, growing, or evolving.?

Eventually, focusing primarily on the Whats of life (skills, knowledge, goals, achievements, outcomes, ambitions, and dreams) led me to a dark, empty, and anger-filled place as I began encountering failure in my entrepreneurial pursuits. It also did nothing to help me develop healthy and meaningful relationships, but I wasn’t lonely because I didn’t register the value and importance of authentic connections.?

By the grace of God, I chose to get on my knees and give my life over to Jesus instead of taking my life. In the years that followed, particularly in the last few years, I got a whole different dose of understanding about how and why the WHO matters so much more than the WHAT and WHY.??

I’ll reveal more about my wake-up call in the next newsletter.?

Why "Focus on the Who"?

In today's fast-paced world, we often prioritize what we do over who we are. We have become entirely too transactional in our exchanges with people, interacting and communicating on the "what" level and rarely making time for the relationship, or "who," level. Our professional labels and achievements can overshadow our personal stories, values, authentic identities, and unique experiences.

This realization inspired me to create a group on Alignable for small business owners called “Communicating Who You Are in Business .” Every Thursday, I host a ‘Show Don’t Tell’ Smart Connect, where business owners are invited to connect through a personal story that highlights a virtue, value, character or personality trait, or a lesson learned. Over the last few weeks, multiple attendees asked me, “Why would someone care about who I am before they know what I do?”

This question usually leads to a deeper conversation because it speaks to how we interact with each other. Our interactions are often driven by what we want to get from others while giving little care and attention to who they are. This dynamic is not limited to business owners; it permeates various areas of society. During the COVID-19 pandemic, the transactional nature of relationships between employees and employers became glaringly obvious. Many employees felt undervalued and unseen, leading to a widespread reevaluation of work-life priorities. Similarly, in personal friendships and romantic relationships, focusing on what someone can offer rather than who they are at their core often leads to shallow connections that lack depth and genuine understanding.

The rise of dating apps and social media has further exacerbated this issue, emphasizing quick gratification and surface-level interactions over deeper, meaningful connections. On dating apps, people often swipe based on appearances and brief profiles, reducing the complexity of a person to a few images and a tagline. Social media platforms encourage us to present curated versions of our lives, prioritizing likes and followers over authentic self-expression. This environment fosters a culture where the "what" — our looks, achievements, and social status — becomes more important than the "who" — our true selves, values, and stories.

The above is only the tip of the iceberg. This newsletter, and later the podcast, aims to delve deeper into the societal implications of emphasizing roles, titles, and achievements over personal identities and how this focus leads to a disconnected and fragmented society. We’ll explore why understanding and valuing the essence of individuals is crucial for a healthy, trusting, cohesive workplace, business, and culture. We’ll look into new definitions of success that prioritize personal growth, relationships, and well-being over traditional metrics like career achievements and material wealth.

We will also unveil the power of personal storytelling and its ability to bridge the gap between the "what" and the "who." As well as other practical tips and strategies for you to implement in your own life, workplace, and business to shift the focus from what to who.?

Join us on this journey of discovery and transformation. Subscribe to the newsletter and stay tuned for the podcast launch, where we will continue to explore these themes and work towards creating a more connected and empathetic society.