Welcome to the BetterMen Bulletin

Life is busy and time is precious. This monthly bulletin, the first of the New Year?saves you time and effort by providing you with a range of resources relating to all things men, mindset and success.

Don’t just read the quotes.?

Instead, take a moment to consider them and hold them up against your life. This month’s quote theme is: Ownership.?Owning something is a demonstrating willingness to take responsibility. It’s not only recognising the ebb and flow of life, it’s owning whatever we’re experiencing. Without ownership, there can be no liberty and little autonomy. If a man doesn’t own his experience of life, he will spend his days reacting and firefighting, to both personal and professional challenges. On the other side of the same coin, a man who takes ownership of his life lives as a leader of himself; he knows who he is, what is and isn’t important to him and is deliberate in designing the life he experiences. Consider the quotes below and how ownership could improve your 2024:

Sit down, take a minute, read, reflect, or journal on the prompts presented.?

This month’s prompt theme is: Values. Author and thought leader, Dr John Demartini states that we value the things we don’t have. Succinctly distilling Demartini’s counterintuitive theory, he suggests our values are our voids - the things we feel we lack. Think about that. We might value family because we know we’re not showing up fully; we might value health because we know we could be healthier… To bridge our voids, we need to learn to live life through our values. Doing so will provide us with a sense of deliberate direction, it will make decisions less difficult, anchor our emotions and keep us in integrity - with ourselves. Complete the prompts below to consider your values:?

The three things I want to have more of in my life this year are…?

To create more time for the things I want I will...?

When I have the things I value, I will feel…

This month’s BetterMen video is titled: Who is Dan Stanley…??

Dan’s moment of deep reckoning, his midlife crisis, in 2017, nearly cost him his marriage and his sanity. Still, the adversity he experienced also forged a desire to live differently, to live better. As founder of BetterMen, Dan’s vision is that through his work: coaching, courses, podcasting, and Amazon bestselling book, Rethinking Masculinity, the men of today will rethink and redefine the standards of what it means to be a successful man. Dan is inviting men to move away from the old, narrow, blueprint of masculinity that is fixated on financial provision and instead, to navigate toward lives rich in purpose, personal happiness, professional success, deep connection and self-worth. If you haven’t yet subscribed to the BetterMen YouTube channel, please do so:

This month’s podcast recommendation is: The Science of Success. In this episode, Cal Newport, a true thought leader and author of Deep Work, a strongly recommended read, talks about why one of our most valuable skills for success: intense focus, is becoming increasingly rare. With show host, Matt Bodnar offering great inflections, this episode is a mix of cultural criticism and actionable advice. They discuss why you should not follow your passion; the two biggest pitfalls people struggle with whilst trying to build a career they love, the incredible importance of deep work and how in an age of digital distraction, how we can cultivate it.?

This month’s book recommendation is: Legacy. This is a must-read, especially for those in need of tangible life principles for the year ahead! In Legacy, author James Kerr goes deep into the heart of one of the world's most successful sporting teams, the legendary New Zealand, All Blacks. In doing so, he reveals 15 powerful and practical lessons for leadership and business.?

From significant life lessons such as ‘sweeping the sheds’, right through to answering pivotal questions around sustaining success at world-class standards, Legacy has it all; it’s a unique and inspiring handbook for leaders in all fields.

Legacy By James Kerr

This month’s TED Talk is: The Single Most Important Parenting Strategy.?

There’s no such thing as a perfect parent, we make mistakes, perhaps especially so in the chaos of Christmas, but how do we reconcile and reconnect? In this TED Talk, clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy discusses the single most important parenting strategy: repair. Repair is the act of going back to a moment of disconnection, taking responsibility for your behaviour, and acknowledging the impact it has on another. Dr Kennedy argues that repair is essential for teaching children how to regulate their emotions, take responsibility for their own behaviour, and build strong and connected relationships. This video is a must-watch for anyone dad or caregiver who wants to learn more about the power of repair in relationships.

This month’s content is a hard-hitting piece about longevity. You can read the post here and also access it on LinkedIn by clicking the link below.?

This post comes with both a trigger and a truth warning.?

Whilst some men get away with a warning, for others, it can be much more serious. This year, I’ve seen around me a plethora of: cancers, strokes, diabetes, panic attacks and mental or emotional breakdowns. The common theme across those concerned:?

• Men?
• 35-55?
• Overworking?
• Overweight or unhealthy?
• Often, immersed in stressful, pressurised environments for too long or have neglected their wellness, be it: physically, mentally or emotionally, for too long.

Across the timeline of a man’s life, there’s a juncture, a moment when fitness and wellness transition. They shift from vanity, ego-led peacocking or dominating in sporting arenas toward vastly different facilitation. Like it or not, after this juncture, fitness and wellness serve a critically important outcome; they become the primary enablers of longevity.?

Despite medical advances, the average life expectancy of a UK male is 78 - note, some men die inside, long before.?

For men, especially those 35 or above, and who care about their futures, longevity should absolutely be on your radar, now.?

What’s my longevity goal? I’ll tell you… For me, it’s about being a physically active part of my children’s children’s lives. I have a vision that I’ll be the grandad who is mentally sharp, physically able and still leads his family on adventures.?

Whilst it’s all relative, what’s the point of sacrificing years of our finite time amassing possessions and wealth, only to check out, prematurely??

My point. Nothing increases our longevity like making informed, conscious lifestyle choices. There’s no avoiding the consequences of your choices. What you do now matters; especially so if you’re middle-aged. It will dictate, decades from now, whether you will, or whether you won’t play an active role in the lives of your future family.?

Think - live longer and better. Think - health span, over the life span.

View LinkedIn Post

Despite there being no walk in December, it was still a month of connection and contribution.?

First up, our Festive Gathering… Instead of sore and tired legs after a robust stomp around the Brecon Beacons, there were a few sore and tired heads after our annual Festive Gathering in Cardiff. 30 men spent the afternoon throwing axes, playing pool, and settling scores across shuffleboards. It was great fun. In the evening we went for an Indian; four courses of quality cuisine! The warmth and connection between those present were palpable. If you know, you know; we truly are a community of good men!?

Secondly, our charitable partnership. Last year, we aligned with a charity whose support for men is second to none, Prostate Cymru. Prostate statics are startling; did you know:?

• Prostate cancer is the most common cancer in men in the UK with 1 in 8 men being diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime.?
• ?Every year, more than 52,000 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer and 12,000 die.?
• ?Wales is one of the worst-affected regions in the UK for late prostate cancer referrals and diagnosis. In Wales, 1 in every 5 men with the disease are diagnosed too late for a cure.?

We raised, with generous support from GAP Group Ltd, a fantastic total of ￡2320! I want to use this platform to recognise and express considerable thanks to our members who’ve supported our charitable initiative.?

In 2024, we’ll be supporting a fantastic charity that saves lives and serves everyone, across Wales. I’m proud to share, that our 2024 charitable partner will be Wales Air Ambulance. Each year, they need to raise over ￡11.2 million to keep their 3-helicopter flying - and saving lives. Since their formation in 2001, they’ve flown a staggering 47,000 missions; one of those missions directly supported my family.

Lastly and looking ahead, we have a significant year planned. In February, a team of us will be heading to the Atlas Mountains for a winter ascent of Mount Toubkal. At 4167m, it’s a beast; we’ll be, for the first time in our collective history kitted up with ice axes and crampons – it’s going to be a fantastic adventure.?

Later in the year, there will be other events including wild camps. More locally, our first walks of the year will be on: 14 Jan, 17 Mar and 14 Apr.?

If you want to get outdoors, in nature and meet new, like-minded men, then join us.

Follow the link to register: Join Men and Mountains

I trust you’ve found the first BetterMen Bulletin of 2024 useful.

If you have,?pass it forward, and share it with another man who you feel would benefit from receiving this monthly.?

Don’t forget, the next BetterMen Bulletin will be arriving in your inbox on the first Tuesday in Feb.

Yours in becoming better,

Dan Stanley

07834456488 - work

[email protected]

Unsure For 2024?

Don’t leave your year, or your life to chance. Book a coaching consultation.?

The 75 - 90-minute consultation is for men who feel frustrated, directionless or lack motivation and want an immediate resolution. The consultation enables men to better understand the challenges that are preventing them from living the life they want and equips them with the tools to begin living with greater purpose, increased clarity and renewed confidence.?

Consultation clients receive a summary email documenting the session notes and clearly outlining the steps that will enable them to bridge the gap from where they are, to where they want to be.?

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