Welcome to the BetterMen Bulletin

Life is busy and time is precious. This monthly bulletin saves you time and effort by providing you with a range of resources relating to all things men and mindset.

Don’t just read the quotes. Instead, take a moment to consider them and hold them up against your life.??

This month’s quote theme is:?Time. ?

Many of us have conditioned ourselves to live life at a frantic pace. We spend, kill and waste time all whilst trying to manage self-generated pressures of achieving more and doing better… Contrary to the popular statement, time isn’t money, time is life, and it’s a finite resource. Consider this statement, ‘how we spend our days is how we spend our decades’! Many middle-aged men live the same day over and over, silently enduring, perhaps languishing through the second half of their lives. The time we have between ages 30 and 50 ultimately determines whether our life is worth living, or not. Managing and investing our time, wisely, is key to living a life we enjoy. Bring your attention to how you use time by considering the quotes below:

Sit down, take a minute, read, reflect or journal on the prompts presented.

This month’s prompt theme is: Mindset.

Your mindset is a complex set of beliefs; it’s shaped through conditioning, schooling, parenting, workplace cultures, social media, masculinity and is heavily influenced by past experience and thought. Ultimately, mindset shapes the way you think and feel about yourself; it predetermines how you interpret every facet of your lived experience. Thanks to the work of Dr Carol Dweck, a world-renowned psychologist, we generalise mindset into two types, growth and fixed. Typically, men with growth mindsets have higher levels of self-esteem and confidence, they’re more open to new experiences and to living beyond their comfort zones. Conversely, fixed mindset men believe their abilities are fixed; they seek safety in their lives. They are often anxious, people pleasers who place a high value on fitting in and who consciously, or otherwise, tend to stay in their lane. Complete the prompts below to consider how your mindset is creating your experience of life:

I. My thoughts make me feel…

II. My mindset hinders and helps me in the following ways…?

III. To achieve my goals, the thoughts I’d need to focus on more would be…

This month’s podcast recommendation is: The Psychology Podcast.

This isn’t a bells and whistle podcast, there’s nothing flashy about it, instead, it’s an empowering insight into the workings of our mind. Dr Richard Schwartz, author of the recommended read, No Bad Parts, reveals that we are born with an 'internal family' of distinct parts. He goes on to share insights into what he calls the Internal Family Systems model, and how, by using the model, we can challenge the destructive forces of our ego and inner critic to live more harmoniously.?

If you’re prepared to listen, it truly is an enlightening episode.

This month’s book recommendation is:?Billy No-Mates.?When author, Max Dickins, decided to propose to his girlfriend, he realised there was no one he could call on to be his best man. He quickly learned he wasn't the only man struggling with friendships. For decades, countless studies from across the world have confirmed that men have fewer close friends than women - and the problem gets worse the older men get. Max investigates what goes wrong and what we can do about it… It’s a witty and entertaining read, one that brings a light-heartedness to a serious social issue.

Join Max as he takes a defibrillator to his social life and discovers that if he wants a Best Man, then he needs to be a better man.

Billy No-Mates: How I Realised Men Have a Friendship Problem

This month’s content piece is around relationship failure; specifically, lifestyle factors that contribute to loveless relationships. You can read the post here and access it on LinkedIn by clicking the link below.?

The average age of divorcing men is 46.?Here are five common and avoidable things that ruin relationships and contribute toward separation.?

?1. Phones in bed.?

?2. Binge-watching boxsets.?

?3. Choosing porn over physical intimacy.?

?4. A lack of spoken appreciation for each other’s family roles.

?5. Living life like passing ships ferrying children to endless weeknight and weekend clubs.?

How many do you identify with??

Marriages don’t fail overnight, equally, they won’t succeed without constant attention. If you’re not mentally, emotionally, or physically connected, If what I’ve shared above describes your relational experience, perhaps it’s time to reassess how you’re showing up…?

View LinkedIn Post

This month’s TED Talk is: A Reframing of Masculinity, Rooted in Empathy.

Starting with graphic experiences, Gary Barker, a gender equality advocate, urges us to turn away from voices perpetuating harmful masculine stereotypes. In his provoking address, he discusses gender conditioning and shares three insights on fostering a culture of care, compassion and connection among men. He’s an advocate for men demonstrating our capacity to care, and to be empathic and calls for society to avoid cutting men off through what he calls, ‘calling men in’.

February’s Men & Mountains was special; it saw the culmination of months of arduous physical training, kit purchases and preparations as a team of 16 men departed the UK for an ascent of Mount Toubkal, Morocco.?

At 4167m ‘Toubkal’ is a beast, especially in the winter, think ice axes and crampons. Starting from the sleepy mountain village of Imlil, the team endured a challenging hike into the High Atlas Mountains to reach the ‘refuge’. The refuge became their base as they acclimatised to altitude and learned the winter mountaineering skills needed to summit successfully.?

The team demonstrated superb camaraderie and commitment, they overcame the effects of attitude and earned the right to stand on the highest peak in North Africa. It truly was a life-enriching experience.?

To view photos from the Toubkal expedition, Click Here ?- All photography courtesy of The Content Creators .

Important. Our next walks, all of which are in Brecon Beacons are on: Sun 17 Mar, Sun 14 Apr and Sun 12 May.?Lace-up your boots, get your pack on and join us.

Follow the link to register: Join Men and Mountains

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Haven’t yet read my highly acclaimed bestseller, or want a copy to gift to a friend, get it FREE today (only pay for postage - ￡3), by following the link below.

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I trust you’ve found this month’s BetterMen Bulletin useful.

If you have,?pass it forward, and share it with another man who you feel would benefit from receiving this monthly.?

Don’t forget, the next BetterMen Bulletin will be arriving in your inbox on the first Tuesday in April.

Yours in becoming better,

Dan Stanley

07834456488 - work

[email protected]