The Weird Etiquette of Introductions in the US & UK

I lived in the United States for ten years. Like many Swedes who move to the US, I was aware that there would be some cultural differences I’d have to adapt to in order to fit in. But one thing I wasn’t prepared for and took a long time to figure out was the unique social rules making introductions.

Etiquette plays a big part in first impressions. Understanding and using the proper social protocols, however slight, for introduction shows politeness and respect. And while the proper way to introduce someone in English-speaking cultures isn't as complex as in others, there are still some rules and norms to follow so you can make a good impression. Most Swedes don’t really notice it unless they spend a long time in the United States or the United Kingdom. But even then, they’ll still have trouble understanding the exact customs.      

There are two basic kinds of introductions in English: the ones where a person introduces themselves and the ones made by another.

The proper way to introduce yourself is kind of universal in Europe and North America and should be pretty easy for someone from Scandinavia in the U.S. or the U.K. You open with a standard greeting of “Hi” or “Hello” as you identify yourself by your name, then (if applicable) the context for your presence (like your role or title in a professional setting), and a comment showing you're glad to meet the person with whom you are speaking. 

EXAMPLE: Hi, I'm Maja. I just moved here from Sweden. It’s nice to meet you. 

“Hej” or the anglicized “Hey” is traditionally seen as slang in English and a sign of bad manners in formal or professional settings. According to my mother-in-law, her parents and teachers would reprimand her for using “Hey” with the phrase “Hay is for horses!” Things have changed a lot since then, but it's still a good idea to avoid using “Hej” outside informal settings.  

EXAMPLE: Hi, I'm Maja. I'll be the lead manager handling your account. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Introductions by others tend to create the most befuddlement. Depending on the circumstances, and if you're unfamiliar with the social norms for such situations, native English speakers can seem downright rude. But in fact, they're probably following entrenched rules of etiquette.

The general rule is that if you're meeting someone for the first time in the company of someone who knows you both, that person is expected to introduce you to one another. If the meeting is with a group, then the person introducing may introduce the new person and then introduce/identify each person of the group to them. If you're in a group where most don't know each other, then the organizer is expected to handle the process of introductions, either making them individually or starting a process for people to introduce themselves.

In more formal and professional settings, there is usually deference to seniority, with those of higher position in an organization or older family members being introduced first. In business-focused events, that deference for seniority is superseded by those who are clients.

A professional introduction will include a line of courtesy like “I'd like to introduce…” (The most formal version of this is “May I present…”), the person's name (possibly with a prefix), and usually the context for their presence, like their role or title, in the professional setting. Sometimes, depending on the situation, there may be a bit of personal information about the person being introduced.

EXAMPLE: I'd like to introduce Ms. Maja Svensson, Director of Accounts. She's originally from Sweden. 

This can all seem odd and even disrespectful if you're not aware of the protocols. In these kinds of situations, it's best to follow the lead of the organizer and bring up any issues or questions about introductions either before or after a meeting. It can be considered rude to introduce yourself in a formal setting unless you're asked to do so.

Things are a bit looser for more informal and personal settings, but there's still an expectation for some sort of introduction by the person who knows you in moments when you are with them and another person they know but you don't.

EXAMPLE: 

Dave, this is Maja. She’s from Sweden.

Maja, this is Dave. He lives next door to me.

A lot of the uncertainty can come from timing. Many native-English speakers will not introduce themselves or seem to acknowledge other people until they are introduced. If the person expected to do the introductions doesn't (because they're distracted, forgot, or don't know they're supposed to) and are still close by, the people needing to be introduced may just wait and not say anything. This can be awkward but fairly easy to remedy.

If you're in a situation of a failed or delayed introduction, you can introduce yourself. It's not considered rude in an informal setting. If the person who should have done the introduction is not standing nearby or is talking to someone else, then no introduction is expected.

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