The weight of success

Success comes with a weight that most people don’t talk about. I always dreamt of making it big, of climbing to the top, and enjoying the rewards that come with it. But what I didn’t realise was that when I reached a certain level of success, the people around me would start to look at me differently. Suddenly, I wasn’t just successful—I became a target. A target for their problems, their failures, and their expectations.

When you’ve got some money, people start expecting you to be their solution. It doesn’t matter if they made bad decisions or if they’re stuck because of their own poor choices; they’ll look to you to fix things. They’ll expect you to bail them out, to fund their stupid ideas, or to carry the burden of their failures. And let’s be real—it’s not because they think you owe them, but because they think you can afford it.

This is the reality of success. It’s not just about enjoying the fruits of your labour; it’s about constantly defending yourself against the expectations and demands of others. Family members, friends, colleagues—they try to make their issues your issues, so you’ve got to defend yourself, and push back. They’ll drop their mess at your feet and expect you to clean it up, but I don’t accept it. I’ve helped out plenty of people, but there’s a limit. Everyone learns from their mistakes and if I always step in I’m stealing their lessons, and enabling their bad performance.

Success becomes a filter where normal rules and social norms don’t seem to apply. People won’t be shy in asking for stuff, and they’ll justify not giving you it back. You’ll be approached by people expecting you to pick up the tab for things that aren’t remotely related to you or have been of no benefit to you, attempts will be made to leech off of you.

When I started to achieve success, people told me I’d changed…and they’re right, of course I have, but so did they. I’ve been expected to sponsor all sorts…and I’m an arsehole if I don’t agree to it. I’ve been asked to pay for work in advance because I can afford it and it helps the contractors cashflow, yet I’m unreasonable if I refuse. It’s not just me that changed, the expectations that people (friends, family and complete strangers) have of me changed too.

So, understand this: success comes with a target. Expectations of you are bourn out of a perception of your bank balance. Now I wouldn’t trade my successes because of this, not in a million years, however it is something I’ve learned to deal with. My circle has gotten smaller over the years, and I can block out the noise from those trying to grab my attention…and generosity.