The Weight of Guilt: Time, Choice, and Acceptance

Guilt is a quiet but persistent companion to many of us, particularly when it comes to how we spend our time. There never seems to be enough of it, and no matter how we divide our days, there’s always something or someone that feels neglected. The guilt creeps in. Have I given my children enough attention? Have I been present enough as a leader? Did I support my friends when they needed me? Have I managed my responsibilities? The list is endless, and the pressure relentless.

Recently, I have learned that we live in an age where multitasking is glorified, but stretching ourselves too thin comes at a cost. When we attempt to do everything, we often end up doing nothing particularly well. The impact of spreading ourselves too widely is that no task, no relationship, no moment receives the depth of care and understanding it deserves. And when we recognise this, guilt follows closely behind.

The Power of Choice and Acceptance

Rather than seeing time as an enemy, I am learning to view it through the lens of choice and acceptance Every decision we make carries weight. But rather than feeling guilty about what we are not doing, we must learn to stand by our choices with intent, integrity, and authenticity.

Guilt, after all, is largely self-imposed. It is rare that those around us are judging our decisions as harshly as we judge ourselves. A friend does not begrudge you for not responding to a message instantly, a child does not tally every minute of attention given, and a well-led team will trust in your guidance rather than count the seconds you spend with them.

Doing Things Well vs. Doing Everything

There is a fundamental difference between doing things well, with time, consideration, and care and trying to do everything at once. A task, a relationship, or a commitment given space and intention flourishes. A hurried or distracted effort leaves a residue of dissatisfaction. When we embrace the idea that not everything must be done at once, we allow ourselves the grace to be fully present in the moments we choose.

Shedding the Guilt

The guilt that accompanies choice is natural, but it does not have to be a burden. Instead of viewing every decision as an opportunity for regret, I am learning to frame it as an act of intention. By choosing what truly matters in each moment, I not only serve others better but also serve myself with the kindness and understanding I so readily give to those around me.

So, I am making the effort to show up where I can, commit to my choices wholeheartedly, and release the guilt that does not serve me. Because at the end of the day, life is not about doing everything, it’s about doing the right things, with presence and purpose.