This week's #winners and #losers

The Week in Defections

Winner: Beijing—The African island nation of S?o Tomé and Príncipe officially switched allegiances from Taipei to Beijing this week. Just 21 countries still recognize Taiwan. #TrumpSaysHi

Loser: Hillary Clinton—lost five electors in this week’s electoral college vote, three more than Donald Trump. HRC is one of the only people on Earth who can honestly say that 2017 can’t possibly end worse than 2016 did. #ForwardAndUpward

The Week in Fake Food

Winner: Nigeria—officials in Nigeria discovered that 2.5 tons of rice from China was actually made of plastic. They made this discovery before anyone was harmed. #TheShanghaiTreat

Loser: Russia—more than 60 Russians have died in recent days from drinking bath lotion as an alcohol substitute. Russia’s surrogate alcohol market is booming given that perfumes and bath oils are exempt from traditional alcohol taxation. #BedBathAndBeyond

The Week in Gift Giving

Winner: Japan—the US military this week gave back nearly 10k acres in Okinawa to Japan, the largest return of US-occupied land since 1972. True, American forces are getting helipads built for them nearby, but it’s the thought that counts.#IllBeRightHere 

Loser: Donald Trump—Last week, China seized a US drone in the South China Sea. Donald Trump tweeted: “China steals United States Navy research drone in international waters — rips it out of water and takes it to China in unprecedented act.” Beijing returned the drone. Trump then tweeted, “We should tell China that we don’t want the drone they stole back.- let them keep it!” Should be an exciting four years. #MakeChinaSeeRed  

The Week in Trials and Tribulations 

Winner: Christine Lagarde—Following a politicized trial in France, the IMF director was convicted of “serious negligence” this week in a public payout to a French businessman in 2008 while she was the country’s finance minister. However, no fine or sentence was imposed, and the IMF board of directors expressed their “full confidence” in her. #TheRightCall

Loser: Choi Soon-sil—In South Korea, the long-time presidential confidante at the center of President Park Geun-hye’s impeachment drama appeared in court this week to face charges of abuse of power, extortion and fraud. Her public trial is so popular that there’s a raffle for tickets. #SeoulCircus 

Up in the air

Winner: Pakistan International Airlines—the airlines’ ground staff sacrificed a black goat to ward off evil as the company put the first ATR-42 aircraft back in service after nearly 50 people were killed in an early December crash. The plane then travelled safely from Islamabad to Multan and back again. #SafetyFirst 

Loser: Australia’s Transport Safety Bureau (ATSB)—The ATSB revealed this week that after more than 2 years and $145 million, it has a “high degree of confidence” that MH370’s plane wreck is not in the area it has been searching. Well, OK then. #ProblemSolved

Ian Bremmer is president of Eurasia Group, foreign affairs columnist at TIME and Global Research Professor at New York University. You can follow him on Twitter and Facebook.