This Week's #Winners and #Losers

My weekly look back at who won and lost around the world.

Donald Does Mexico

Winner: Donald Trump—gets to go to Mexico and look presidential, then return to Arizona and continue to say unpresidential things. Turns out you really can have it all. 

Loser: Enrique Pena Nieto—invites Trump to his country for no discernible reason, a day before he delivers his State of the Union. Guess there’s a reason the guy is polling at 20ish percent. His political instincts leave a lot to be desired. #PesoForYourThoughts

The Impeachment Heard Round the World

Winner: No-longer-interim President Michel Temer—how do you become president when you’re banned from running because you’ve been convicted of corrupt electioneering? Like this. #FailingUpwards 

Loser: The Overall Fight Against Corruption—of the 81 senators who got to decide whether to kick Dilma Rousseff out of office, 45 have been convicted or are under investigation themselves for serious crimes. So are 273 members of Brazil’s congress. #GlassHouses 

Deals Killed by the EU This Week

Winner: The Friendship Between Ireland and Apple—the EU has ordered Apple to pay Ireland €13 billion in back taxes. Apple doesn’t want to, and neither does the Irish government. It’s kind of how Ireland got Apple to come to them in the first place. #FriendsInNeed

Loser: TTIP—when top officials from Europe’s economic heavyweights, France and Germany, declare the US-European free trade deal a failure, you know you have a problem. #WithTradeDealsLikeThese

Overkill

Winner: Sigmar Gabriel—Germany’s economy minister and vice-chancellor caught flak earlier this month when he flipped off a group of neo-Nazi protestors. In an interview this week, Gabriel defended his actions, explaining that his only mistake was not using both hands. #DoublingDown

Loser: Kim Jong-un—reportedly executed two senior North Korean officials using an anti-aircraft gun. The man might be running out of new and horrifying ways to execute people at this point. 

Trading Places

Winner: Jim Macken—an esteemed 88-year old Australian judge writes a letter last month to his country’s immigration minister offering to move to an offshore holding center for refugees provided that a refugee can take his place on the mainland. He has yet to hear back. #PuttingUpNotShuttingUp

Loser: “Vladimir Putin”—a 48-year-old black man gets arrested in a Florida supermarket, initially refuses to give police his name. Turns out he shares it with the Russian president. He was worried that the other guys in jail would make fun of him. Hard to blame him. 

Foreign Influences

Winner: American Travelers to Cuba—JetBlue Airways becomes the first US airline carrier to fly to Cuba in more than half a century. Good news for now, but when Starbucks comes, it's all over.

Loser: Soccer Players in Syria—ISIS bans soccer referees in Syria because they follow “laws of FIFA not Sharia.” #ThusSpakeSeppBlatter 

Highly Optimistic Uses of Government Spending

Winner: Italy—the Italian government is gearing up its program to send more than 500,000 18-year olds vouchers worth more than $500 each, allowing the teens to visit museums, concerts and movies at reduced prices. The effort is part of Italy’s cultural battle with ISIS and a bid to keep young Italians away from terrorism.

Loser: Syria—Syria’s ministry of tourism continues to release promotional videos encouraging tourists to come visit the country. They have plenty of vacancies. More than 5 million Syrians have fled the country because of civil war. 

Ian Bremmer is president of Eurasia Group, foreign affairs columnist at TIME and Global Research Professor at New York University. You can also follow him on Twitter and Facebook.