This Weeks "Win" as a Working Parent

If you are a working parent I'm guessing you have been in this situation. You have a business trip, an important client meeting or just a deadline, but there is also a school concert, field trip or class party that your son or daughter would love for you to attend.

The guilt sets in as soon as you realize you cannot be in more than one place at a time no matter how hard you try. The truth is sometimes you have to miss things. So how do you make the decision on when your kids "win" or when work "wins?"

A couple of years ago someone shared with me a way to think through making tough choices when both options feel important. She said to me, “When you look back at this decision five week, five months, and five years from now who is going to remember the outcome of your decision?” She went on to explain how in the moment both options can feel critical, but in reality if you step back and look a little farther out the decision gets a bit easier.

Five weeks from now the lines could still be blurred but typically when you think five months or five years out there is a clear winner of who will remember, or who will benefit most from the decision at hand.

So I thought about my two options this week. Work was hosting two incredible client events in NYC this week. I would have learned a lot and I also get so much energy and inspiration when I am with our clients. However both my boys had their last field trips of the year and were very eager to have a parent at each of them.

While I knew I would get so much out of the work event, and five weeks from now I would still feel the benefit of making the trip; five months and definitely five years from now the memories created with my son would "win" hands down.

So instead of attending the client events, I made breakfast for my sons and their friends as they were bursting with excitement for their day ahead. I then joined my youngest at the zoo and his day long smile pretty much verified my decision.

While this decision was easier than most, there are times when the stakes are higher. In those times really think five months or five years out. What will the outcome of your decision be for you and for those you care most about. More often than I ever thought a meeting can be moved or someone can go in your place. And while you may not be able to attend every school event or sports game, be sure you know which ones are the most important to your kids. Have your non-negotiables and hang on tight to those.

On the bus ride home, my son looked at me and said "Thank you mom, I'm really glad you were able to be with me today." In that moment I knew not only had my son "won" this decision but I had as well.

Five weeks from now I will still feel like I missed out a bit from missing the client event. But hands down five weeks from now and five years from now my son will remember the zoo field trip with mom.