Weekly Wisdom #43

Over the past year, I have said on multiple occasions that the field of conservation needs healing. Each time, there has been someone in the circle who said something like “it’s not our job to heal” or “we need to frame it as a leadership challenge.” This week could not have been more validation of the deep need for healing.

When a predator holds the keys

That was the title of an article I received from a colleague this week that knows I am working in the trauma/healing space. The article, posted in the Baltimore Banner talks about a park manager who allegedly (he was indicted only so far) terrorized employees at a Maryland State Park. Specifically, he’s been charged with rape and sexual assault of two women. And it sounds like that is just a small fraction of the story.

When I read the story, my initial response was rage. I suspect what the men in the field don’t realize is that when women hear these stories, there is a potential for re-trauma. My rage was a trauma response.

In reading the story, instantly, instances of harassment and sexual misconduct I experienced in the field came rushing back in. I recalled a man at one of my earlier workstations that had a 5 finger nickname due to his frequent inappropriate touch. All newly entering women received a warning. So we had to do the work of avoiding, moving out of the way and watching over our backs during days when he was present. I am quite certain the men in the office knew about it too. But, the predator had been around a long time and, I guess, there’s a code. Keys, you might say. The point is, this new story immediately connected me to several of my own stories, bringing up my own past trauma. Gratefully, I now have tools to process (and more on that shortly).

How is it possible this can still happen?

The next day, I received another email from another colleague (unrelated to the first) that shared an article on the call for an independent review of the situation. This colleague said they had passed my name to some people in case I could provide any insight into the situation. I think she knows how healing within the entire agency will be required for the agency to recover.

I believe this still happens because the men in the field think these are rare occurrences and therefore, feel no need to act. And even those wanting to act, use the excuse of “I don’t know what to do” to avoid doing anything. I think the greatest fear is actually being required to go in and acknowledge their part of the mess. We need ALL men in the field to act and we have for a long time. What will it take for you to step up?

We lack courage. Courage is required from all of us and many are not willing to step into courage. Ask yourself how you can step up with courage here. Follow that by asking who will benefit from your courage. The answer is, we all will!

Let me remind my male colleagues - we grew up in the same system. You just got different messages. It is time for us to all examine those mistaken messages.

Should you need more data

While I work in diversity, inclusion, and workplace well-being, I am exposed to these stories over and over again. Often times Human Resources is part of the problem. Just a few years ago, I heard a story about two young women being sexually harassed by members of a state’s natural resources commission. The harassment was reported up the chain as far as it could go and NOTHING happened. NOTHING.

Judy Camuso, Director of the Maine Department of Inland Fisheries and Wildlife wrote a blog about her experience back in 2021 with links to more stories in the field. I greatly appreciate her bravery in sharing.

My state chapter of The Wildlife Society did a survey of members last year with many stories shared. A report is available.

Finally, I’ll add information from a blog that my friend and colleague, Dale Caveny, ?wrote about regarding an experience where women bravely shared their stories. The women in the room ended up writing stories on paper and throwing them into the center of the room. Mostly men, and a few women, read the stories aloud. The story did have some ripple effect because I have heard of efforts to end harassment as a result of the session. But, there are still not enough stories out there for change to occur.

Consider these questions

I do not have a silver bullet and perhaps not even any answers. But here are a few questions that need honest answers (mostly by men). Transformation requires going deep.

• If all of the women in my workplace were asked to share their stories (anonymously, of course), I wonder how many stories there would be?
• How many more stories do I need to before I will take action in my own workplace?
• When I am in mixed company, do I treat the women in my workplace differently? If the answer is no, double-check (in an anonymous way) with the women! You may be unaware of the subtle differences in treatment.
• How many women are accepting bad behavior simply because they love the field so much that they are willing to risk themselves for it?
• What is the code? Who has the keys? And when have I used the code or had the keys?

A special note

I want to state that while this article’s primary focus is on women, I suspect that people from the LGTBQ+ community have as much or more to say about this kind of harassment in the field. I honor you, hear you and see you too!

Healing IS required

After reading the initial story of the Maryland park manager and navigating my initial rage, I had to do some yoga to ground myself. In learning more about trauma, I now have many more practices that help me recover. My response has to come from this grounded center, or I will simply be inducing more harm. And what we all need is healing.

Men

• Acknowledge all feelings. If you are feeling a sense of shame or guilt, allow those to come. Here is a resource for how to stop feeling guilty.
• Learn to express your feelings along with your female coworkers in appropriate ways. Crying, for example, is a necessary way to relieve stress from the body and is allowed.
• Encourage & allow women to share their stories, and all of the feelings that result from that share, in your workplace. When they are done sharing, say “Thank you for sharing” or “I’m sorry that happened to you.”
• Get comfortable being uncomfortable. These stories are hard to hear and share. Sitting with and acknowledging the pain is part of the healing process.
• Encourage women to develop safe places to share their stories.
• Believe the stories. Minimizing and denying add another layer of harm.
• Realize that every time another story arises has the potential to re-traumatize. Consider inviting the women in your workplace to hold a space to process these stories in a healing manner, in a way that works best for them.
• Partner with female colleagues to work toward change. Find true partners, people who will pick you up when you falter, because you will. Step away from any thoughts of “I know how to fix this” and listen to your female colleagues’ suggestions. Practice expressing feelings together.

Women

• Acknowledge all feelings. If you are raging, that’s okay. Here is an article on 10 Healthy Ways to Release Rage. Get a feelings wheel. Acknowledge all the feelings that arise without judgment or the need to fix them.
• Have healthy strategies to navigate stress. Start with pausing and breathing. Post a list in an obvious location, so it is readily available (see my list below if you need help starting yours).
• Find safe places to share your stories. This could be with other women, with a counselor, or with a community group. Hopefully, you have family, life partners, or spouses that are safe too.
• For those of you who have not experienced sexual harassment in the field, please do not minimize or deny the experiences of others. As I stated earlier, even if an offense occurred decades ago, hearing today’s stories has the potential to re-traumatize.
• Seek coaching, counseling, or therapy. Navigating my childhood trauma has taken multiple sessions over a period of years because I never know what might re-trigger it. Having a more objective third party eases the burden on close family, friends, or colleagues.
• Find ways to speak out in your own way. Mine is through this writing and through some of my workshops.
• Partner with male colleagues to work toward change. Find true partners, people who will allow all your feelings and experiences to be expressed without the need to fix. Also be willing to pick them up when they falter, because they likely will.

The Work that Reconnects

I feel like the process for acknowledging ecogrief and developing active hope from Johanna Macy’s book Coming Back to Life is useful here too. The steps are Gratitude, Honoring the Pain, Seeing with New Eyes, and Going Forth. Let us figure out how we can reconnect the feminine and masculine in the field of conservation.

1. Express gratitude for spaces and people around us willing to share and hear these stories.
2. Acknowledge and honor the pain that this is causing all of us and the field in general.
3. See with new eyes by actively seeking out these experiences and potential harassment.
4. Going forth with actions that everyone in the workplace must do to prevent these events from occurring.

Concluding remarks

This was written in about an hour so I could post it as part of my weekly wisdom. So if it feels less organized and succinct than my other posts, I apologize. I needed to say something, imperfection allowed. Other stories of toxic workplaces in the field came to mind and I did not have space to acknowledge those here. A recent workplace well-being report was an option as well.

I want healing. And I’ll keep saying the field needs healing until I feel like real healing has begun.

Contact me for information on Nurturing Trauma-informed Conservation Communities.

My healing practices: yoga, hiking, biking, being fully present with nature, sitting near water, meditation, a quite homecooked dinner with my partner, journaling, mind mapping (to dump my brain), a great conversation with a friend, a check-in with my counselor, reaching out to my trauma-informed community. Just to name a few.