Weekly Wisdom #38

This week’s wisdom is how mindfulness, compassion, and trauma-informed allowed me to have a different experience at a conference. Of course, this was my first live conference since most meetings were canceled or significantly modified since Covid forced lockdowns. Because I facilitated a workshop on Mindfulness and Compassion, that is what has been top of mind all week. This reflects my experience.

Self-awareness

Mindfulness practices have allowed me to become more self-aware. I noted a couple of triggers and instead of reacting, I became curious about what was behind them. After unpacking my first trigger, I realized that the man to whom I struggle listening represents all the organizational harm I’ve experienced in my career. If I drop that aside and listen to the man’s message, I still believe he needs to use his power to advocate for a more refreshed viewpoint. The field can’t transform doing the same activities from decades past.

At another moment I felt a microaggression where a man took an idea as his own. I noticed my throat tighten and at the same time a small shove across my upper back. I’ve learned that this is my small child's voice saying to me “you said you would speak up.” I paused for a moment to think about whether this was the right time to speak or not. I decided I should say something, and I did make a brief comment. I followed up with a couple of other people, explained what I experienced, and asked them to help me craft a compassionate action. I am grateful I have comrades to help me.

I also celebrated this week. My workshop went well. A couple of participants told me of their a-ha moments during the session. Others caught me in the hall to tell me they wished they could have attended and thanked me for the important work I do. Before the conference, I was a little nervous about the workshop but while I was there, I was fully present, confident, and bringing all I had. I am blessed to be doing work I love, and people are noticing. I bathed myself in appreciation and gratitude because I know I’ll need that at other times (like those mentioned earlier).

Awareness of others

Because I am more aware of myself and my surroundings, I was able to note how triggers showed up in others. In one instance, I triggered someone with a question. Once I saw the reaction, I carefully crafted a move out of the discussion. I knew the other person couldn’t hear anything else I was saying after the trigger. They were completely stuck inside themselves. I knew it wasn’t anything I did, but the topic in general. I have compassion because I have been triggered in a similar way myself and have an idea of its origin.

I also sensed some numbness. As is often the case at major meetings, there is so much information presented that there is no way the mind and body can take it all in. There are rarely pauses to allow people to think and I suspect most don’t take reflection time. As a result, actions aren’t often taken. We remember that something good was said but because we didn’t take the time to determine the meaning for ourselves, nothing new happens.

Finally, I was happily aware of a time when a potential trigger showed up and it was met with grace and curiosity. I remember feeling the warmth fill my chest cavity, feeling proud that real dialogue was occurring. I intend to acknowledge and thank both parties for their bravery and for demonstrating how real dialogue can occur.

Mindful of reality

In the end, mindfulness invites us to reality. This week I acknowledge all the work that is still to be done for conservation to be more diverse and inclusive. At the same time, I embrace the small positive movements forward. There were a couple of strong women who earned awards and I celebrate with them! In the end, we are all on a journey. That journey includes the entire emotion wheel, positive and negative experiences that when we remain present, make life rich and full.

How would you rank yourself in being mindful of both you and others? What mindfulness practices do you have in place to help you navigate the good and bad and keep yourself present with reality?

For more information on my half-day workshop on Mindfulness and Compassion in Conservation, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. Beyond the concepts of, and tools for, mindfulness and compassion, we apply a conservation case study to integrate the learning. I am looking forward to bringing more awareness to the field in hopes to transform it for the better.