Weekly Wisdom #27

At least twice this week, I had someone say I am brave; trying to change systems that are heavily resistant to change. At the same time, I spoke to people that fully embrace what I have to offer – no resistance at all. As I have been reflecting, the word courage showed up. This week’s wisdom is an attempt to unpack what is required for courage.

This week’s wisdom comes from my experiences with Thomas Hübl and Jens Reise through the Pocket Project and their Trauma-informed Leadership Course. Credit to Myron Lowe for his wisdom through presence and emergence while unpacking learning from the course.

What does courage require?

This is my take on courage from what I have learned and experienced.

1.?????A vision of a world worth moving toward

We must be able to imagine the ideal result of what we want to transform. Without a sharp vision, it will be much more difficult to choose your battles. You will not know what for which is worth fighting. The vision must be solid, so you know where to step and what is not worth your time and energy.

One of the exercises I experienced this week is imagining a team meeting that went well and what conditions created it. There is one meeting that I will never forget. There was so much energy in the room, vitality, creativity, and meaningful conversation. As we ended the visualization, I was abundantly clear on what our team did to create a container for innovative work.

Close your eyes and imagine the ideal future. Journal what conditions and requirements are needed to create said future. Keep going into the visualization practice until you are clear on what you want, and a good list of steps required to get there.

When you have that vision in place, you will be more willing to use courage to move and transform.

What is your vision for an area you want to transform? What conditions will be required to make the transformation? Close your eyes and visualize!

2.?????Personal growth and awareness practices

To have courage, you must know who you are and what you're made of. Know your strengths, gifts, and values. Develop a practice of digging into your shadows; anything that triggers you, sends you into self-sabotage, or keeps you stuck.

My fear of rejection is my biggest shadow. In the work of transformation, rejection is inevitable at times. Through practice, I have learned where rejection shows up in my body. So, when I notice the spot above my heart heating up, I know that I am sensing some rejection coming. When I notice that sensation, I ask myself “What is the worst thing that could happen?.” Most of the time, the worst thing is just that I will hear a “No.” I suspect navigating this fear is a lifetime endeavor.

At the same time, I am clear that one of my strengths is finding patterns in problems and developing solutions through experimentation. I am not afraid to test, learn from it, adjust and test again until it feels right. I can also connect with almost anyone which makes it easier to develop trust and open spaces for vulnerability.

Courage is harder if you are not sure who you are and what you stand for. I continue to work on standing in my power.

What practices do you have in place to acknowledge your strengths and gifts? What values are most important to you? How do you navigate your shadows? Get good at knowing and accepting who you are and who you are not.

3.?????Ability to sit with discomfort and uncertainty

Courage means not knowing outcomes or results and taking the step forward anyway. As the quote above states, in courage, we must “live through the unending vulnerabilities of those consequences.” ?

This is where mindfulness and compassion practices are beneficial. These practices are meant to help you notice that thoughts are just thoughts, that the body can provide important signals, and that the heart and breathing are places to center our being. Mindfulness also helps you acknowledge triggers and learn to pause instead of reacting.

I am an overthinker, so when I first started mindfulness, I hated it. My mind raced and my body did not want to sit still. As I continue my practice, I am much more aware of what is going on within and around me. I am much more able to note a trigger, pause, and be curious about its origin. I can better sense the energy in a room and what might be needed to shift it. I am much more willing to pause and take the space needed to digest what is happening or what I am learning (or unlearning).

Stepping into courage requires sitting with uncertainty and taking risks. If you are connected to your full self, it will be easier for you to move with confidence.

How would you rate yourself on your ability to sit with uncertainty? What small practices can you put in place to help you expand your capacity to sit with discomfort? Get good at knowing what your whole body has to say; mind, heart, body, and spirit.

4.?????Knowledge of resistance

As you work to transform, there will be resistance. Be prepared for it.

“Resistance is that force that tries to hold us back whenever we are going toward our dreams. And although it's something we have to break through, we can actually never get rid of it. We just learn how to relate to it differently.” Justin Michael Williams

In a personal sense, this requires you to be aware of how you sabotage yourself. You need to be fully aware of your damaging internal dialogue and how to halt it.

In the space you want to transfer, take time to write and acknowledge the forces of resistance. Spend time writing about who might resist and why. As you are doing your work, note when resistance occurs and how you handled it. Spend time in reflection on one or two actions that might have eased the resistance. Relate to the resistance so you don't have to fight it as hard.

Also, give yourself permission to sit with and acknowledge the resistance without blame or judgment. Implement a mindfulness or body connection practice to allow the stress of resistance to be released from your body. If you do not, stress can build up and result in illness, burnout, or reactivity. None of those is helpful in transformation.

In what ways do you self-sabotage? Who and what will resist your efforts to transform? How can you prepare to meet that known resistance with compassion? What practices help you release the stress of resistance from your body?

5.?????Presence

I debated whether to put this one first or last. It belongs in both places; to always start and end with presence. If we are not fully present with what is happening both inside and outside of us, we cannot really be clear on where courage is required.

In the Trauma-informed Leadership Course, Thomas Hübl says that PRESENCE is one of the human superpowers. I agree! When I am fully present, dropping the past and the future and just noting what is, beautiful things emerge. And when I am present, I notice that emergence and pause in awe and gratitude.

The inspiration for this week’s wisdom post came from such a beautiful conversation. As part of the Trauma-informed Leadership Course, we have the opportunity to work with triads to process our learning. I was able to meet with Myron Lowe, one of my triad partners, and we spoke about bravery and courage. He painted a lovely picture of how he sees courage and that image really resonated with me. And some of what I said really resonated with him. We noted how present we were to the conversation. We also shared gratitude because we realize how rare it is to be fully seen and felt by another.

Courage with presence is powerful. When we can be present without judgement and with curiosity, I believe our courage can move mountains. I have even noticed that when I am courageous to be present with difficult feedback, what emerges is often more powerful than what I could have imagined.

What conditions do you have in place to aid in presence? How can you develop the superpower of presence?

What else do you think is required for courage? Please share your thoughts and experiences so we can evolve this list.

I have a full-day session available on Courage and Vulnerability. I might even evolve it based on what I have just reflected in this week’s wisdom. DM me if you want more information.

ALSO - want to see someone using their courage? Check out Madison Butler here on Linkedin.