Weekly note #5 - Feedback for dummies

The Power of Feedback: Lessons Learned from My Worst Advice

In my professional journey, I encountered a pivotal moment that made me truly appreciate the value of feedback. It led me to dive into the connection between advice and feedback and why, in a professional context, I would suggest going for feedback instead of advice.

Feedback or Advice?

Feedback and advice are similar in the general intent to “help” someone improve, based on a different perspective of someone who “could” offer guidance (due to experience, for example) so that future actions can be different from the “status quo”. However, advice might be too general and, worst, focused on the person giving the advice rather than on the person at the other end. In theory, feedback should be more specific, addressing particular actions or behaviors and their impact. It often provides actionable insights that can be directly implemented. Advice, on the other hand, can be more general, offering broader recommendations or suggestions without necessarily pinpointing specific actions to take… leading to no actionable insights but a feeling of helplessness.?

Keep it friendly and keep it useful. We don’t need another person weaponizing care for our future with passive-aggressive advice. Life is short, and work is not our life. Go for feedback, and know that many do not know the difference!

Who thrives on being yourself if you are advised not just to be yourself?

A feedback session is not just about receiving advice; it's about gaining insights, improving ourselves, and nurturing a culture of growth and development. I have read multiple articles and books and watched videos about feedback. I also have had different feedback sessions as a giver and receiver. As I prepare a little input on how to give feedback to your teammates, I thought about sharing seven “tips” for giving feedback professionally and mindfully.

Seven “tips” for giving feedback professionally and mindfully

1?? Tip #1: Timing is Everything ?

Ask for feedback when you feel ready to receive it. Self-awareness and readiness to accept feedback play a vital role in maximizing its impact. Timing ensures feedback is received with an open mind, making it more constructive and empowering.?

2?? Tip #2: Seek Consent ??

If you have feedback for someone, approach them respectfully and ask if they are open to receiving it. Giving others a choice empowers them to be more receptive and mentally prepared for the feedback. Spontaneity might be perceived as a threat or aggressive behavior in a context where vulnerability is not always accepted. Remember, consent creates a safe space for growth, and it highlights your good intention.

3?? Tip #3: Privacy Matters ??

Avoid spontaneous feedback sessions in the midst of a meeting or with an audience present. Privacy allows individuals to express vulnerability and engage in a genuine conversation. Choose a suitable setting where both parties can have an open and honest dialogue.

Also, avoid involving other parties or referring to “people”. A feedback moment is about you and the other person in a vulnerable space for growth. Be prepared not to transform it into a space for shame.?

4?? Tip #4: Balance Honesty and Empathy ??

Be honest with your feedback while considering the emotions and well-being of the recipient. Craft your words thoughtfully, ensuring they are constructive and impactful. Honesty without empathy can shut down a colleague or your employee and undermine the potential of feedback… and building this relationship.

5?? Tip #5: Specificity is Key ??

Provide clear and specific feedback, focusing on behaviors and actions that can be improved. Vague feedback can lead to confusion and hinder progress. Offer actionable insights that guide the recipient towards concrete steps for growth. Avoid the words “always”, “never”, and “sometimes,” as these tend to put people in boxes instead of giving them a chance to reaffirm their uniqueness and opportunity for self-improvement.

6?? Tip #6: Embrace a Growth Mindset ??

Both givers and receivers of feedback should approach it with a growth mindset. Feedback is an opportunity for learning and development, not a judgment of one's worth. Embrace the process, celebrate progress, and view feedback as a catalyst for improvement…for both parties.

6?? Tip #7: Try a Framework ??

Feedback catalyzes growth and development, fostering a culture of continuous improvement. As we explore effective feedback strategies, two well-known frameworks emerge the "sandwich" technique and Nonviolent Communication (NVC).

The sandwich technique, coined by experts in communication, involves sandwiching constructive feedback between positive and encouraging comments. This approach aims to soften the impact of criticism while maintaining the focus on improvement. It begins with acknowledging the individual's strengths and accomplishments, followed by specific areas for improvement, and concludes with reaffirming their value and potential. Utilizing the sandwich technique can enhance receptiveness to feedback and promote a balanced exchange of ideas.

Another powerful framework for giving feedback is Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Developed by Marshall B. Rosenberg, NVC emphasizes empathetic connection, open dialogue, and understanding. It involves observing without judgment, expressing feelings, articulating needs, and making clear, actionable requests. By using NVC, we create a supportive environment that fosters trust, empathy, and collaboration.

When applying NVC for feedback, start by observing the situation and describing the specific behaviors or actions you witnessed. Share your feelings, emphasizing the impact of those actions on you or others. Then, express your needs or expectations regarding the situation. Finally, make a clear and constructive request, offering potential solutions or suggestions for improvement. This framework encourages mutual understanding and helps to prevent defensive reactions, enabling more effective communication and growth.

By incorporating the sandwich technique and NVC into our feedback practices, we can cultivate a culture where feedback becomes a powerful personal and professional development tool. These frameworks promote empathy, respect, and meaningful dialogue, fostering an environment where individuals feel valued and supported in their growth journey.?

Let's foster an environment where everyone feels empowered to seek and give feedback, propelling our professional journeys forward without fear. No one is expected to know how to give feedback naturally and out of the blue. And if someone is asking you for your feedback, honor that moment by putting some time into making it clear and kind.