Weekly Newsletter from Osprey

Welcome to this week's edition of Life by Design Partnership Insights. Each week we provide articles, tips, stories and advice to help couples and families who work together in the business they own.

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Eckhart Tolle Foundation . In "A New Earth," Eckhart Tolle shares a story about two monks walking along a road. As they continue their journey, they come across a river, and a woman is standing by the water's edge who needs help crossing. One of the monks, without hesitation, picks up the woman and carries her across the water. After they have crossed the river and continued on their way, the other monk is visibly upset and seems to be bothered by what happened.

Hours pass, and the second monk can't contain his frustration any longer. He asks the first monk why he carried the woman across the river when monks are supposed to avoid contact with women to maintain their purity and vows of celibacy. The first monk calmly responds, "I put her down on the other side of the river; you are still carrying her."

To me this story is a good reminder to partners not to let differences fester, things only get worse, not better. It is so important to live in the present moment and deal with things as they happen.

In my last newsletter, I referred to seven principles for having a harmonious relationship. This week I cover principle 5: No such thing as constructive criticism.

It's either constructive feedback given in a non-challenging way that is gratefully received or it is criticism which is NEVER received well. If you want to give your partner feedback, make sure it does not make them feel less or inferior.

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." Albert Einstein

This quote is very popular as it succinctly explains that we are all different personalities but if we are judged by someone e.g. a parent, partner, or spouse, to be different to them, then somehow we are wrong. By understanding the eight different profiles that typically most people align to, you recognise each other by their strengths and can supplement their challenges.

In the fast-paced world we live in, the lines between our personal and professional lives are often blurred. Many couples find themselves working together, either as business partners or within the same organization. While this arrangement can be incredibly rewarding, it also comes with its unique set of challenges, not least of which is dealing with differences of opinion and the occasional disagreement. In these situations, it is vital to draw inspiration from the timeless story of the two monks and understand the power of letting go.

The Story of the Two Monks

In Eckhart Tolle's book "A New Earth," there is a story of two monks walking along a road. When they come across a woman who needs help crossing a river, one of the monks selflessly carries her across. The other monk, however, is troubled by this, as it seems to go against their monastic vows. Hours later, he confronts his fellow monk, questioning his decision.

The wise monk responds with a simple truth: "I put her down on the other side of the river; you are still carrying her." This story shows us that holding onto grudges and resentments can weigh us down and prevent us from fully embracing the present moment. In a work-life partnership, this lesson is invaluable and one to remember often.

The Power of Letting Go

In a work-life partnership, it's only natural that differences of opinion and disagreements will arise. These conflicts can fester and, if left unresolved, poison the harmony both at home and in the workplace. Just like the second monk in the story, if we cling to these issues, they can accumulate and overshadow the positive aspects of the relationship.

So, how can couples working together apply the lesson of letting go in their daily lives?

Communication is Key

The first step in addressing issues is open and honest communication. Avoidance and bottling up emotions only serve to magnify the problem. Instead, create a safe space where both partners can express their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. Active listening is equally crucial; understanding each other's perspectives is often the first step towards resolution.

Choose Your Battles

Not every disagreement requires a drawn-out debate. Recognise that some issues are not worth the emotional toll they may take. Focus on the bigger picture and ask yourself if the matter at hand is worth the potential damage to your relationship.

Practice Forgiveness

Learning to forgive and let go is a powerful tool in maintaining a healthy work-life partnership. Holding onto grievances only perpetuates negativity, which in turn leads to resentment, contempt and then stonewalling. By forgiving and moving forward, you free yourselves from the burden of resentment.

Set Boundaries

Clearly defined roles and boundaries (staying in your lanes) can help prevent conflicts from arising in the first place. When both partners understand their responsibilities and limitations, there is less room for misunderstandings and power struggles.

Embrace the Present Moment

The story of the two monks reminds us to live in the present moment. Dwelling on past disagreements or projecting future conflicts can hinder your ability to enjoy the unique journey you're sharing. Cherish the moments of unity and togetherness, and let go of the baggage that may weigh you down.

By practising open communication, forgiveness, and a willingness to let go, you can ensure that these issues do not fester and overshadow the beauty of your work-life partnership. Embrace the present moment and choose to put down the burdens of the past so that you can journey forward together with light hearts and a shared purpose.

This week's book recommendation is fun to read and really hits home.

Why Men Don't Listen and Women cannot Read Maps by Alan and Barbara Pease

Last week was an amazing week for me. I spent the weekend with Lee McQueen past winner of the UK Apprentice. who reminded me that having a pipeline of deals is paramount to a successful business. I then attended the Global Entrepreneur Summit hosted by Roger Hamilton who covered the 10 future trends that will impact the world. Both sessions were fascinating and certainly gave me a lot to think about. After the summit, I boarded a Qantas aeroplane to Canberra, Australia where I will be spending Christmas with some of my family. It has only been 18 months since I last visited Canberra but I am blown away by the changes and new buildings that have occurred. Anyone visiting Australia should include a day or so in Canberra in their itinerary as it is a pristine capital city that certainly has lost its reputation for being boring!!!