Weekly Musing #18 Don't get stuck in the problem, move into the solution.

We all face challenges— some small, some large, and some that seem almost insurmountable, and it’s easy to get lost in a maze of worry and frustration.

However, staying stuck in the problem isn’t going to help you get out of it, on the contrary, it’s a trap, a sand hole that will keep filling itself in as you try digging it out.

The only thing you can be sure of is that it won't fix itself, sorry to break it to you. There is no deus ex machina, you won't win the lottery and bad things will happen whether you want them to or not.

The only thing you can do is start acknowledging the problem, analysing it, and trying to move into the solution. You know, actually trying to fix it.

Now I know this all sounds very Goody Two-shoes and boy scouty, but bear with me here.

I know that the "problem zone" can be oddly comfortable, I fully understand and respect that. It's a place where we can indulge in self-pity, lay blame, and convince ourselves that there is no point in trying, since it’s never going to work or get any better.

And if we add regret and anxiety to all of this, then we create the perfect black hole. Nothing makes people more anxious that being anxious and nothing makes us more depressed than being depressed.

And while it may provide temporary relief, the problem zone does nothing to change the situation at hand.

Moreover, staying too long in this zone risks turning it into constant state of apathy, inaction and negative thought patterns, which can be downright dangerous.

So even though it can feel good (and human) to wallow in your sorrows and regrets for some time, you also need to realize that it robs you of time, time you could spend making things turn around for the better.

The first step toward a solution is often the hardest: shifting your mindset. Instead of dwelling on the "what-ifs" and "if onlys," ask yourself what you can do right now to improve your situation. Right now. Baby steps,

Even if it's a small step, taking action shifts your focus and opens the door for positive change. This mindset shift isn't just about problem-solving; it’s about showing yourself that you are taking action and trying to make things better.

Being proactive is about regaining control. You might not be able to change what has already happened, but you can control how you react to what happened and even more what steps you take moving forward.

It's like steering a ship; you can't control the storm, but you can navigate through it. Furthermore, proactivity has a ripple effect. As you solve one issue, you gain the confidence and skills to tackle other problems, effectively creating a positive cycle of continuous improvement and personal growth.

Finding a solution doesn't always mean solving the problem entirely all at once.

Sometimes, it's about making incremental improvements—taking one step at a time and adjusting your course as you go. This iterative approach not only makes an overpowering problem more manageable but also builds your resilience and problem-solving skills for future challenges.

Additionally, each successful iteration provides a morale boost, keeping your motivation up and spirits high(er).

So how do you start? Where to begin?

Start by asking yourself some basic questions:

First ask yourself what you can learn from the situation that got you where you are today. Try to understand what went wrong or which decision(s) were made that resulted in you being where you are. Then acknowledge, accept and take responsibility for those decisions. Don’t play the blame game, that will only put you back in the “What if” and “if only” again.

Own your “now”.

Then think about what resources you have in your network? Who can help you through this? Do you know anyone that has had similar problems themselves? Or have seen others have the same and helped them?

Reach out to them and ask, not for help, but for advice on how you should act in order to move forward.

Again, please don’t misunderstand me, of course you are asking for help, but you are not asking them to fix everything for you and make all the bad go away. That won’t empower you to take control of your own situation.

Ask for advice, ask for mentorship, and sure, ask for help, but make sure they understand that you are prepared to roll up your sleeves and put the work in.

When asking yourself these questions, you not only divert your attention from the problem but also actively engage your mind in seeking practical solutions. They serve as mental triggers that catalyze creative thinking and strategic planning, pushing you closer to effective problem-solving.

Staying stuck in the problem is a choice, just as moving toward the solution is a choice.

The moment you decide to shift your focus is the moment you reclaim your power to effect change, both in your life and in the world around you.

So, the next time you find yourself entangled in a web of problems, remember: don't stay in the problem, move into the solution. Your future self will thank you, and you'll inspire others to do the same.