?? Weekly Mind Sweep #154 | Manage Your Mind | Civility

December 2024

Week 152: Curated Conversation: Civility

Week 153: Mind Your Business: Civility

*Week 154: Manage Your Mind: Civility

Week 155: What’s on My Mind: Civility

New to the Weekly MindSweep? Past issues live here.

In the MindSweep this week:

1. Curated Conversation with curated GIF’s & puns (for your entertainment).
2. Jamie’s Second Brain Corner: Links to references. Need a map? I’ve got you!
3. What’s I’m Reading - An amazing find at a local bookstore!
4. Collaborations with Terri Hamilton (Thursday) & Shannon Giordano, and the MetroWest Chamber of Commerce.
5. My face ?? and a link to schedule your free consultation.

Managing Your Mind: The Neuroscience of Civility

Last Friday morning, there was a knock at my door—I mean, who just shows up at people's houses and knocks unscheduled, uninvited, and unplanned these days? When I opened it, my neighbor stood there smiling with a plate of holiday cookies in her hands.

Her kindness immediately disarmed my mental state and offered an unexpected moment of calm.

I was in the middle of a chaotic day, managing deadlines and juggling tasks, but the simple act of civility disrupted my spiral. Later, when I reflected on that moment, I realized something profound: her kindness wasn't just a nice gesture but a reset button for my brain.

And science backs this up.

Let’s sweep the brain…

?? Rather watch or listen instead of read? Now you can!

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Research shows that acts of civility activate areas of the brain tied to empathy, connection, and even problem-solving.

This means civility isn't just about being polite; it's a practical tool for fostering the mental clarity needed to navigate life's chaos.

For entrepreneurs, civility can feel like a fleeting thought amidst the storm of ideas and tasks. But what if we made it a strategy? A way to manage not just relationships but also our minds?

When we experience or witness incivility, it impacts us in ways we may not notice:

• Cognitive Overload: Rudeness hijacks focus, reduces our ability to remember details, and increases the likelihood of errors.
• Emotional Drain: It shifts our mindset toward negativity, causing us to ruminate and question our character or decisions.
• Psychological Safety: Incivility erodes trust and makes us less likely to speak up, share ideas, or collaborate.
• Contagion Effect: Witnessing incivility can lead us to unintentionally carry it forward, spreading negativity to others.

This spiral is frustrating and counterproductive, especially when creativity, focus, and innovation are at the heart of entrepreneurial success.

Incivility behaves like a virus—spreading from person to person, infiltrating minds, and weakening relationships. The good news? Like any virus, we can develop immunity.

Cultivating civility strengthens our mental and emotional resilience, equipping us to thrive even in the most challenging environments.

Civility has the power to reset our brains.

Acts of kindness and respect activate areas of the brain tied to empathy and connection, fostering mental clarity and emotional balance. [1]

The first step to civility is self-awareness.

A lot of the rudeness we encounter is unintentional and often stems from a lack of self-awareness—the blind spots in our behavior that we may not realize can affect others.

Researcher Tasha Eurich found that while 95% of people believe they're self-aware, only 10-15% actually are.

This means most of us have room to uncover and address behaviors that might unintentionally come across as rude. [2]

Here's how you can practice civility to manage your mind:

Notice Reactions

• Incivility often triggers unconscious responses. When you feel a threat—even a mild one—pause and ask yourself: What am I feeling, and why? Labeling your emotions engages the brain's braking system, reducing the limbic system's intensity and reactivating your prefrontal cortex. This helps you regain control and choose a thoughtful response. [3]

Power of the Pause

• Instead of reacting impulsively, take a moment to breathe. Emotional regulation techniques, like the SCARF? Model, can help you identify why you feel threatened—whether it's a perceived hit to your status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, or fairness. Once you understand the trigger, you're better equipped to respond with civility. [4]

Clear is Kind

• Clarity in communication reduces misunderstandings and keeps interactions positive. Use a neutral tone, focus on essential details, and avoid unnecessary complexity. This keeps others out of a threat state and helps you stay calm and composed.

Civility takes community effort.

Civility isn't just a personal strategy; it's a collective effort. Here's how you can foster it in your community and entrepreneurship:

• Practice Clear Feedback: Preface constructive criticism with clients and colleagues with care. For example, "I'm sharing this because I value our relationship and want us to succeed together."
• Create Safe Spaces: Build trust and respect so others feel comfortable sharing their perspectives without fear of judgment. [5,5.1]
• Engage in Self-Care: Combat the mental toll of incivility by prioritizing basic needs like food, water, and exercise. Engage in activities that uplift you and build hope.
• Invest in Positive Relationships: Surround yourself with people who thrive on mutual respect and kindness. This will strengthen your emotional resilience and reduce the impact of negativity. [6]

Incivility may feel like a virus, but the antidote lies within you.

By practicing self-awareness, managing your reactions, and choosing civility, you can build a stronger "immune system" for your mind.

Remember, you can't control how others behave, but you can choose to control how you respond. Bet on yourself and your ability to create a culture of kindness and respect.

It's not just good for your mind—it's essential for your success as an entrepreneur.

My questions for you this week :

How has an unexpected act of kindness impacted your mindset or shifted your perspective during a challenging moment?

Self-awareness is critical to practicing civility. How do you identify and address your own blind spots in behavior that might unintentionally affect others?

Reply and share with me!

Let’s discuss ways I can support civility for you and your business.

Book a free consultation.

Jamie’s Second Brain Corner:

[1] ?Did you miss our month on Kindness

[2] Tasha Eurich

[3] The limbic system regulates your emotions, behavior, motivation and memory

[4] Mindtools

[5] Did you miss our month on Trust

[5.1] Safer spaces

[6] Did you miss our month on Relationship?

[X] Did someone say GPS + MAP?! Learn more about my Personalized MindSweep Mapping Process!

What I’m reading and where to find me!

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What I’m reading:

Women Holding Things

Written by Maira Kalman

From a wonderful trip to downtown Natick. A dear friend and I stopped in The Hive Natick - to find it full of books! Visit Ten Trees Books!

From the critically acclaimed artist, designer, and author of the bestsellers The Principles of Uncertainty and My Favorite Things comes a wondrous collection of words and paintings that is a moving meditation on the beauty and complexity of women’s lives and roles, revealed in the things they hold.

“What do women hold? The home and the family. And the children and the food. The friendships. The work. The work of the world. And the work of being human. The memories. And the troubles. And the sorrows and the triumphs. And the love.”

Visit Ten Trees Books

Mindful Connections:

Connecting like-hearted entrepreneurs to build relationships, offering support, understanding their passions, and sharing their names in rooms of opportunity.

Thursdays at Noon EST

See all collaborations

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Join us Friday, January 3rd, at the MetroWest Chamber of Commerce for this two-hour interactive business community experience. We'll discuss ways to cultivate business through Sales, Marketing, and Communication methods that support relationship building, showing up authentically, and connecting deeper with colleagues and the people you serve. 9-11 am - Open discussion, community support, brainstorming ideas. Join us in meeting business owners in our community. You'll leave with new tools to help you make connections and build your business!

Free; Registration Required

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Oh, Hi! I’m Jamie Chapman

Self-proclaimed brain geek, relationship builder, and business consultant who helps heart-centered entrepreneurs and small businesses execute their big ideas.

I have always been a curious person who thrives on helping others succeed.

Finding solutions is what I do.

When my twin boys were diagnosed with ADHD in elementary school, I had to learn how to navigate a school system that wasn’t built for neurodiverse individuals. By helping my boys find ways to succeed in these spaces, I realized the importance of shining a light on the gifts we bring to the world.

In a society that tries to “fit a round peg into a square hole,” I am here to support entrepreneurs and small business owners who want to take a different path to success.

While supporting small businesses in various industries, I have a special place in my heart for neurodiverse entrepreneurs and ADHD business owners.

Relationships and a holistic, human view of your business needs is something I value.

I meet you where you’re at and support you in getting where you want to go.

With a multifaceted approach to problem-solving, and extensive knowledge of executive functioning, habit formation, and the neurodiverse and ADHD entrepreneur’s mind, I support small business owners to thrive and feel proud of what they’re building.

My background is in manufacturing and business operations. I use my decades of experience with developing systems and processes to make your business operations smoother and more efficient.

As a perspective integrator and big-picture thinker, I want to help you execute your vision, spot inefficiencies, and find effective ways to grow your business.

Think of me as your strategic C.O.O. and partner in business success and growth. ?

Whether it’s 1:1 Consulting, MindSweep Mapping, or joining our Chickbook Creative community of business owners, I support idea generators in cultivating clarity and taking action to pursue their best ideas.

My purpose is to illuminate the gifts business owners and entrepreneurs bring to the world. I can’t wait to meet you and get started.

Time with me; Priceless.